Miscellaneous Hello I'm back!!!

[gloggawogga]

Hello everyone,

I just to say hello I'm back.

I was moderator of Psychedelic Drugs from 2003 to 2005. Then I left and became inactive mainly out of fear of my employer finding out I was here. I'm retired now and plan to participate a little bit. So I'm back after 21 years.

I'm sorry for that argument I got into with Fastandbulbous. I had something to say but after that I was just protecting ego. I should have let it go. My he rest in peace. I love the dissociate RC's that (I think) he was a pioneer on.

I just to a hit off of a DMT vape pen. It said you only needed one breath for an immersive experience. I took one breath and it wasn't immersive, but it was still amazing. Next few times I'll take one breath again and then I'll try two breaths. I have 4 vape pens 650 mg each. Honestly I need to be a little better at surrendering my ego and letting go. It was pretty good this time but at a few moments my ego (me, myslef and I) tried to fight back. But each time I realized it and was able to let go again. So I need to do one breath a few more times before trying two breaths.

Moderators....if this should not be its own thread please merge into one that you think is appropriate. Thanks you very much.

Thanks everone,

Glogga

 

[pupnik]

just checking, you got 4 nn-dmt vape pens, which is a great stash to have, and not 4 5-meo-dmt vape pens which are a means of self torture.

 

[tachyphylaxis]

just checking, you got 4 nn-dmt vape pens, which is a great stash to have, and not 4 5-meo-dmt vape pens which are a means of self torture.

I'm kinda thinking that most people know if they have been tortured, yet some of them keep buying 5-MeO-DMT vape pens anyway. Is it their love of agony, or perhaps something else?

 

[Bitchniggaz]

just checking, you got 4 nn-dmt vape pens, which is a great stash to have, and not 4 5-meo-dmt vape pens which are a means of self torture.

I find this fascinating...

Ive extracted and vaped alot of NN-DMT in my years.
However the last 5years or so ive had very little urge to indulge.
Mostly becauce of anxiety from the DMT and imo a not so pleasent bodyload.

A friend gave me a few ml of 5meodmt vapejuice last year. (100mg/ml).
And ive had only good times on it so far lol.

For some reason it hits me almost like a dissociative drug.
Just pure peace, calmness and zero anxiety even at almost ego death doses.

 

[gloggawogga]

just checking, you got 4 nn-dmt vape pens, which is a great stash to have, and not 4 5-meo-dmt vape pens which are a means of self torture.

Yes, it was a very colorful sensory overloading experience definitely nn-dmt!!!!

When I first took LSD at 15 years in my bedroom by myself it was easy to let go. I was still a child being taken care of by my parents. Didn't have many worries or responsibilities like my health, finances or personal relationships. Thought my body was invincible and would never die. Always believed there would be a future that would be better. Never had a bad trip. Psychedelics were fun. I was naive then. Had no concept of accountability.

When I was 16 I took too much PCP and was walking to meet my friends which was a one mile walk to where we meet. But ended up sitting on someones front yard sitting like a babbling infant. Police found me and took me to the station they knew me and just called my father to pick me up. When my father came to pick me up I just thought I was in insane asylum and was nice to see him.

My first bad trip was 5-meo-dmt which I vaped at age 39. I would say that was sensory depriving and very scary and felt like death and no place for my ego to exist.

I actually first experienced that when I was enlightened by my Guru at 20 years old. He showed me everything in the universe was alive and conscious and all in communication with itself i.e nonduality just for an instant. But then my ego exploded because it had no place to be. But then I thought I had found God and my ego wanted to show it to everyone else so I went psychotic had delusions of grandeur. My enlightenment turned into super ego.

I've been trying to process it ever since. When I was moderator of this forum it was just feeding my ego...

Then I got scared thought I would lose my job because they got bigger and bigger on security I was working in space program. I've been retired since 2017 at 55 they almost fired me but they forced me to retire I got my pension and IRA and now have inheritances all my family is dead.

So now just trying to figure out how to let go and die voluntarily so I can find eternal life...

That's my trip report. Life is a trip...

 

[pupnik]

@Bitchniggaz A few people have mentioned that they do like 5meo-dmt, maybe I will try it again, I have more than a 7/8 full vape cart in my locked drawer.

@gloggawogga so you are only 63 now, I am 74, no way am I contemplating eternal life before or after death. I really am more interested in how the present moments are going. It is a whole different scale of concern.
enjoy!

 

[Ismene2]

That's some break! Welcome back.

F&B isn't dead is he?

 

[M!$TER-ED]

Do we ever really leave Bluelight.org

 

[Esperighanto]

I just to a hit off of a DMT vape pen. It said you only needed one breath for an immersive experience. I took one breath and it wasn't immersive, but it was still amazing. Next few times I'll take one breath again and then I'll try two breaths. I have 4 vape pens 650 mg each.

Interesting concentration, was 650mg/mL to keep it from crashing back out? I tend to vaporize straight freebase but it takes a lot of waste and practice to get the technique right. Even when I would squeeze 850-900mg into a single milliliter of vape juice, 2-3 hits were typically required for a solid breakthrough.

Moderators....if this should not be its own thread please merge into one that you think is appropriate. Thanks you very much.

Eh I mean, it could be in the social threads but also it's not really a big deal, it's moving pretty slow here on PD.

I've been trying to process it ever since. When I was moderator of this forum it was just feeding my ego...

Out of curiosity, what about moderating a forum fed your ego? It seems to have the inverse effect on me, it's neat but also being a forum moderator feels like being a discord or reddit moderator, the kind of thing where if somebody told me they were doing this I'd expect they haven't left their mother's basement in a decade, you know?

So now just trying to figure out how to let go and die voluntarily so I can find eternal life...

I get this man, I'm 27 but was terminal until 16 and the worst thing to happen in my life so far is that every other kid in the hospital got to die and I'm still fucking stuck here. I suspect that life cycles on whether we die voluntarily or not, but people sure to get up in arms over my stance that adults of sound mind should have a right to choose to die if they want to, I hope you find peace dude.

 

[gloggawogga]

Out of curiosity, what about moderating a forum fed your ego?Interesting concentration, was 650mg/mL to keep it from crashing back out? I tend to vaporize straight freebase but it takes a lot of waste and practice to get the technique right. Even when I would squeeze 850-900mg into a single milliliter of vape juice, 2-3 hits were typically required for a solid breakthrough.

'
Power

Eh I mean, it could be in the social threads but also it's not really a big deal, it's moving pretty slow here on PD.

It seems to have the inverse effect on me, it's neat but also being a forum moderator feels like being a discord or reddit moderator, the kind of thing where if somebody told me they were doing this I'd expect they haven't left their mother's basement in a decade, you know?

Living in your mother's basement wasn't very common back in 2003. I was living in my house at the time with my wife and she was Mother Teresa for dogs and cats.

 

[Esperighanto]

Living in your mother's basement wasn't very common back in 2003. I was living in my house at the time with my wife and she was Mother Teresa for dogs and cats.

Ah I gotcha, I am of the age where I graduated high school in 2017 so I don't know much about what was going on in 2003, but everybody tells me that the pivot point for living closer to family was needing support post-2008 financial crisis.

 

[gloggawogga]

Ah I gotcha, I am of the age where I graduated high school in 2017 so I don't know much about what was going on in 2003, but everybody tells me that the pivot point for living closer to family was needing support post-2008 financial crisis.

--------------------
When I graduated high school in 1980 I had a choice, get a job and move out or go to college. If I took the college they would pay for my college. Which they mostly did except I paid for some of it via dealing meth. When I got out of college I had to get a job and move out. They helped me do so my mother wrote my resumes and cover letters on her typewriter.Their goal was to make me independent and that's what they expected of me. That's what parents should do. That's what lions and tigers and many other species do. There was a recession 1981 - 1983 when I was in college, hard to get a summer job.

 

[Esperighanto]

When I graduated high school in 1980 I had a choice, get a job and move out or go to college. If I took the college they would pay for my college. Which they mostly did except I paid for some of it via dealing meth. When I got out of college I had to get a job and move out. They helped me do so my mother wrote my resumes and cover letters on her typewriter.Their goal was to make me independent and that's what they expected of me. That's what parents should do. That's what lions and tigers and many other species do. There was a recession 1981 - 1983 when I was in college, hard to get a summer job.

I grew up in the kind of area where the job I got out of college had me in a neighborhood of a city with a 5:2 ratio of unhoused:housed people, I was in an apartment in the middle of a tent city pretty much. I suspect that the economies we came up in were wicked different from one another, I'm 27 and have gone through 2 complete collapses of the job market I was in, but hey you just figure out the next move and keep it moving you know?

 

[gloggawogga]

I grew up in the kind of area where the job I got out of college had me in a neighborhood of a city with a 5:2 ratio of unhoused:housed people, I was in an apartment in the middle of a tent city pretty much. I suspect that the economies we came up in were wicked different from one another, I'm 27 and have gone through 2 complete collapses of the job market I was in, but hey you just figure out the next move and keep it moving you know?

Times have changed. Things have gotten a lot harder. The rich have richer and the poor have gotten poorer. I think shitty parenting on the part of my generation too. Over the years the USA has gone from a bad trip to a worse trip.

 

[PtahTek]

shitty parenting

although this may actually be a thing (i feel mine were) i am still learning from my "shitty" parents decades after their passing. maybe learning more what not to do as a parent but isnt that the course of evolution? you want yer kids to be "better"?

jftr i havent any chirrens so basically asking out of curiousity

and welcome back.

 

[gloggawogga]

although this may actually be a thing (i feel mine were) i am still learning from my "shitty" parents decades after their passing. maybe learning more what not to do as a parent but isnt that the course of evolution? you want yer kids to be "better"?

jftr i havent any chirrens so basically asking out of curiousity

and welcome back.

We can't change the past we can only work on who we are today. Why let people rent space in hour heads. We must forgive others for their trespasses or we will not be forgiven. Who wants to die with resentments. That's just my opinion. Have a nice day...

 

[PtahTek]

Why let people rent space in hour heads

they not renting they squatting lol
but ya right imo
we can only work on who we are
that is where im at now exhuming whats left of me after the burial
not pretty but manageable

 

[gloggawogga]

I had a bad trip today. Took 20 milligrams psilocybin. I know why I'm just confessing to let it out.

I had lingering meth and benzos in my system. Xanax I tool last night to to sleep. Meth because I was cleaning out an old glass bong that had started cracking. I had lingering meth in it. I also used it for dissociatives. But my mixing them I made it dirty. I will use separate glass bongs bong in the future for each so they won't mix up. Lesson learned.

Just confessing it so I won't bottle it up. Thank for listening. We live and learn.

 

[gloggawogga]

This week I will stay clean and try again next week 6/20 or 6/21. I have a 4:30 WSOP bracelet event today. I have to go shopping for groceries too at 3:30 if I have the time. Lessons learned.

 

[xdrc]

I had a bad trip today. Took 20 milligrams psilocybin. I know why I'm just confessing to let it out.

I had lingering meth and benzos in my system. Xanax I tool last night to to sleep. Meth because I was cleaning out an old glass bong that had started cracking. I had lingering meth in it. I also used it for dissociatives. But my mixing them I made it dirty. I will use separate glass bongs bong in the future for each so they won't mix up. Lesson learned.

Just confessing it so I won't bottle it up. Thank for listening. We live and learn.

Now, was it a bad trip, or a difficult but ultimately good trip? You can still make the latter happen, I think. I've had DMT deconstruct me recently after I took it (purposely) a day or two after methcathinone use (I had thrown the remainder of that in the meanwhile). It showed me with pathos how I am treating my body and that was good.