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have you found 'the one' and if so when? how did you know?

llama112 said:
I love my boyfriend a lot.
BUT ... if we didn't find each other. Would I still be happy? Would I still find someone else who would make me happy? I think so. And same for him. I'm sure that, if we didn't meet, he would be able to find someone else.
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You were taking my post too seriously. What I was driving at was that whether or not there are other “the ones” shouldn’t matter once you find “the one”. Are there multiple “the ones” out there for me? Probably but it doesn’t really matter because the only person that matters to me is my wife, “the one”. If someone is worried about there being other “the ones” out there for them then they either haven’t actually found ‘the one” yet or monogamy isn’t their thing.

“The one” being the person you want and intend to spend the rest of your life with. not literally the one person built for you.
 
there is no "the one". There are just varying degrees of having to work at it. Sometimes there's hardly any work required and it can feel like "the one".

Love at first sight is a case of inappropriate biochemical response. If it happens to coincide with meeting someone where there's little work required, then you're lucky. That's not to play down how great such a thing is, it truly is great!
 
Johnny1 said:
^ What if there's another soulmate you are about to meet but if you don't have your eyes and heart open you'll miss her?
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My eyes have always been open however I'm dead inside.

redandgreen said:
i respect you for having the guts to say that but don't close yourself off to new opportunities. you never know. i never find what i want when im looking for it. it just comes into my life. peace
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This is how I used to think and how I came into my past 2 relationships. When my wife left me in 1998 I went on two dates during the first year after. I then moved to a bigger city (same state) and patiently waited for that someone to come into my life like in the past, it never happened. Here I am 14 years later, haven't even been on a date since 1999 and am so emotionally fucked up I can't see myself being with anyone again.
 
Snake_Eyes it sounds to me like you would benefit from talking to someone face to face about your issues, have you done this?
 
Snake_Eyes said:
I've talked to my psychiatrist about it during our first visit but that was it.
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If you have seen a psychiatrist repeatedly and not discussed your relationship issues in depth then it sounds like their focus is on other things.

I don't know why you're seeing a psychiatrist and you may not be in control of the direction that goes in but if its making you unhappy you should steer them to it.

Relationships are made even more difficult when there are personal issues that need worked through.
 
I don't believe in "the one."

I think that is a meme/myth that young ones ascribe to.

I believe that strong relationships are a mutually agreed upon pairing that both parties work at constantly. Mature love involves compromise and understanding. It also involves vulnerability, humility, and honesty towards that primary pair bond.

That kind of thing can happen to an open soul more than once in a lifetime. :)
 
"the one" is a myth. like any relationship, they take effort to make special. if they took place easily, they would be worthless. earn your own damn happiness. you don't deserve it otherwise.

bleh and bahumbug and all that.
 
I believe so - I feel now that I was never truly in love before I met her.

It took me a while to see that I was totally head over heels in love with this gal, but yeah - it took me 4 years to say it outloud, after cautious observations and interactions, due to low self confidence for years...and then I started seeing her more, and found that there was nothing I disliked about her. And as I got closer I saw that in every way she was a yin to my yang. Amazingly beautiful creature.

I believe I have a couple of years to grow in myself in order to be with her, as an equal.

I am trying to keep myself open to other women, and opportunities BUT I'm already planning a tattoo on my knuckles for when we get together.
 
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