I should point out to you, since you are either a Christian, or at least a follower of Jesus Christ, that ''occult'' only means ''hidden knowledge'' and that Christianity is STEEPED FROM HEAD TO TOE IN THE OCCULT and always had been.
Rosicrucianism, Gnosticism, The Knight's Templars and The Freemasons are just a few of the ''christian occult'' orders that exist.
These are occult orders that HIGHLY value the teachings of Jesus Christ and the bible, and in fact, base all their teachings around christ and the bible, but they are kind of almost like different secret denominations.
Christian mystics who consider themselves keepers of secret ''OCCULT'' arcane knowledge go back to the time of christ, and many were priests.
The Golden Dawn, despite having Aleister Crowley as a member before he was kicked out, based a large percentage of its' teachings around Rosicrucianism, which actually means ''The Order of the Rosy Cross'' and guess where that ''Cross'' symbol that they respect so greatly comes from---CHRISTIANITY.
I mean, you can believe whatever you want, but honestly, you are NOT as educated as you think on other systems of belief.
I will grant you that you know more about the bible than me as i have only read certain parts and actually i do want to some day read the whole thing, but i think you probably know very very little about other religions and occult orders and philosophies, whereas i have studied pretty much most of the world's religions and many different philosophical systems, world mythologies and spiritual systems throughout my life.
You strike me as extremely superstitious to a fault, and that is really not mentally healthy IMO.
I have OCD myself, and many people with OCD fall into the religious trap and go around thinking they need to say hail mary's ten thousand times a day or pray to such and such a diety every hour on the hour and it eventually becomes a form of mental illness.
Maybe read a bit about some of the other religious systems and consider that they may hold value to them as well.
Hell, just read the old testament/hebrew bible and consider THAT THAT IS REALLY JUDAISM MORE THAN CHRISTIANITY.
Jesus was a jew afterall.
And yet, while i think all system of belief have something positive to offer, i believe they also all have something negative to offer.
i am not willing to 100 percent rule out the existence of god, but i tend to believe in what i can see and feel with my own senses, and i really don't see what anyone stands to gain by believing in magical fairy tales about what does or doesn't happen when we die or a big man in the sky.
Maybe there's a god and maybe there's a heaven or hell, but i'm not willing to gamble my life on their existence.
I'm figuring there's nothing else and that if i want something i better accomplish it for myself and not ask god for it, just in case he doesn't exist.