My 'habit' had reached deadly levels. Who, in their right mind, takes 75 pills a day?? The past 3 years have been the worst. I lost my house, I lost my mid-level management gov't job.
I went cold turkey 9 days ago. Not the first time but it'll be the last. It wasn't planned but I ran out. It was going to be 6 days for my supply to show up. By day 4, the brain fog had lifted and I decided it was time.
Day 1 I took a total of 600mg of Wellbutrin (I don't recommend that for anyone who doesn't know what they are doing), Advil, Imodium and vistaril. The first 36 hours were misery.
Day 3 I did almost the same thing but I used klonopin instead of vistaril. I also increased my Wellbutrin to 450mg in the AM and 450mg at night.
Day 4 I stopped using the Imodium. I also realized that most of my W/D symptoms were maybe 25% of what I usually experienced.
Its gotten a little better everyday. I started a journal (I've always hated journals) to track my usage, dosing and symptoms and to give me something to look back on.
On day 4 I told my family everything. I've been a fairly successful functioning user for 15 years, hiding my habit as best I could.
What keeps me me going right now is the realization that my son deserves a better mom and hell, I deserve better too.
I've made it to day 8; at day 14 I'm heading to the gym. I know that nothing will give me the extra boost that tramadol did but the gym is a start.
Thanks for listening, it really matters to me ����
~it never gets any easier to quit than it is today~