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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Hand red and swollenn and hurting

B

Båtmannen

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 18, 2015
Messages
280
Hello

Due to my injury I'm in a bit of hurry, so I'm going to keep it short.

I have been an IV drug addict for several years, injecting anything from heroin to mirtazapine/remeron to alcohol. I have never been doing it safe or been trying to reduce harm, but instead I've used dirty needles, dirty fluids and dirty hands. Naturally I have had problems from this many times, but so far I haven't suffered anything permanent. When I have been getting an infection ... sometimes I have let it heal for itself (it does, for me, ussually), but sometimes it has gone too far and I've visited the hospital.

Now, however, I think it has gone too far and I can't visit a hospital without risking everything. At the moment I live in a home for former addicts, and if they found out I've been using ... I'm homeless again, and I surely won't get buprenorphine legally (which I've been promised). I am in the middle of the forest and there is no way I can get to the hospital and back without them noticing.

Hence: the only way for me to get professional help, will at the same time risk everything I hold dear. I will therefore not visit a hospital before it's almost too late.


Two days ago, I used needles in my hands without keeping it clean. Now, my left hand is red, swollen and hurting, and I can't even move my thumb an inch. I have marked the current redness with a black pen, so that I can know if it increases or decreases.

What should I do? What would you do if you were I?
 
I asked a friend here to photo my hand and then send it to me on facebook. Left hand is the hurting hand and the right one is almost fine, although a bit swollen as well, but nothing that won't heal itself:

14801230_10207552288100723_663839752_n.jpg



Just the left hand:

14800965_10207552288340729_2049224003_n.jpg
 
Is an Urgent Care place not an option? When I got a skin infection (nothing too serious), I went to one and was out 2 hours later with a script for antibiotics.

In any case, you should really have a doctor look at that. Some more experienced IV users might chime in before this gets closed, but bottom line: we're not doctors, and we can't give out medical advice.
 
Whoa, that looks really bad! I'd say you should seek medical attention ASAP any way you possibly can. I mean, you don't want to risk losing your hand! Not saying it'll happen, but why take a chance? I used to shoot in my hands for a decade or so, and the one time something like that happened to me, I did indeed need IV antibiotics.
 
Yo man! that looks BAD! I have missed, and fucked up veins in my arms and hands, and also done some dumb shit myself, used the most used up needles you could possibly ever see.. I am talking BADLY used needles, dull as fuck, with tips about to break off because they were bent and shit, all the ink worn off of them.. etc. when I was a desperate junkie, with no access to clean needles whatsoever, no one would even sell them to me! it was awful.. I just couldn't stop IVing.. for anything.. I have always used clean cottons, water, spoons, etc.. but yeah I have fucked some of my veins up mostly from shooting crack! one of the very few times I shot crack, it was with a rather dull, used needle, and fucking lemon juice/water before I found out it was extremely dangerous to do this! it can cause blindness and burn holes through your veins skin, and more... but I once put a whole dub piece of crack in my rig with the lemon/water solution(after being filtered of course) and accidentally half way through the shot, poked through my vein to the other side and punctured it, causing me to miss, and the crack, kind of numbed the pain of it at first so I didn't even realize until I had just done it and pulled the rig out, felt like my skin was on fire!!! my whole entire forearm turned dark red and purpleish colered at the iv site I hit, in the crook of my arm.. and it scared the shit out of me! bad! I was panicking wondering what to do, I had no one I could call but 911 and my parents weren't home that day, so I was debating on what I should do and scared, because it looked so bad I thought I was going to lose my arm! then after hours of burning pain and redness, it subsided out of nowhere! so weird.. it just swelled up a bit where I missed and it was a little red til the next day, but my arm as a whole was back to normal.. just hurt to touch where I missed the shot that day/night.. the next day you couldn't even tell anything happened. That is the worst thing I have ever had happen IVing anything, and will never IV crack again only cocaine HCL every now and then... and I always have fresh rigs and supplies nowadays, micron filters I don't have.. just use cottons as many times as I need to, to have a clear solution.. not the safest way, but much better than what I was using rig wise!

I think you could definitely have some sort of bacterial infection, if you say you don't use any clean supplies! which is super SUPER important with IV drug use.. I mean I know exactly how it feels to not have any other option and only want to shoot your drugs no matter what, I have been there.. but dude, try to get some clean shit, any way possible! please! and it is not worth losing your hand, if this doesn't go away soon! which could happen depending on what it is! Whatever happened it looks BAD! and I would definitely say screw it and go see a doctor or go to any place you can be told what exactly it is that is wrong.. we can only speculate at best on here, so I wouldn't solely rely on this site to help you through that, and tell you what happened exactly to a tee! only a doctor can for sure diagnose that, and help you.. please seek help asap! The place you are staying at would be heartless to let you die or lose your hand over a mistake/relapse! I def see your in a pickle here, and that really sucks.. but still, I would say screw it, if it gets any worse/doesn't get any better, I myself, would rather be kicked out of a halfway house and be homeless, than to not do anything about something like that(if it doesn't heal on its own, which could happen... again we have no way to know).. that is scary looking... just my 2 cents, so don't take it the wrong way that I am sort of urging you to go to a hospital, even if it does mean being homeless which is horrible feeling I know that too, but not as horrible as losing a hand is. good luck man.. I really, truly hope you find a way to get help with this!
 
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Thank you for all the answers. I have read them all and I am grateful for them.

I haven't visited the hospital yet, but I'm thinking I should. The pain in my hand now, was unimaginable for me before this. I know it doesn't look too bad, but the pain is excruciating. I also have a fever and I'm losing water. I really want to just shoot up a gram of heroin so that I can have a painless death instead of this shit.
 
Would it be possible to tell the facility your in that you broke a bone in your hand then tell the doctors the truth? In the US there are HIPPA laws that prevent doctors from sharing your medical condition/ history with any one except other doctors. If you could obtain treatment and still have a chance at returning to the facility it might be a win-win situation. If you try to tough it out be mindful about numbness as it could be a sign of lack of blood profusion to the nerves in your hand and possible permanent damage.
 
Båtmannen said:
Thank you for all the answers. I have read them all and I am grateful for them.

I haven't visited the hospital yet, but I'm thinking I should. The pain in my hand now, was unimaginable for me before this. I know it doesn't look too bad, but the pain is excruciating. I also have a fever and I'm losing water. I really want to just shoot up a gram of heroin so that I can have a painless death instead of this shit.
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No.. it does look bad! to me at least! that one hand, your left hand, is way bigger than the other and too red for there not to be something wrong.. like I said in my last post, I have had swelling and redness/purple happen to my arm due to a missed shot of crack, prepped with lemon juice and water.. it looked very bad, and I almost went to the ER.. but I waited and it just went away within less than 12 hours.. so if its still looking that bad, and it is painful/numb, I would try to find some way to make it to the ER or urgent care, but really ideally the closest possible ER, without alarming your supervisor of where you live, or whoever it is you are worried about seeing it.. If they cant see needle marks, and its not entirely obvious you have been injecting there or anywhere for that matter, as they will probably be suspicious if its a half-way house, then like Jekyl Anhydride posted above this, make something up... say your hand feels broken and you fell on it or something just to get them to let you go! seriously, don't just leave it alone, and give up!!! I mean that's just my honest opinion, your hand could become swelled up from more than just IV drug use, so just say you were injured somehow... see what happens, and think positive. hope you can figure it all out, without losing everything.
 
oh dude :(
if i were you i'd head to hospital asap - i know you've got some complicating factors but still, you could get really ill
 
Go to a hospital or seek medical attention NOW. Do you want to loose your hand or arm? Or get a major infection all through your body and get very sick and die?
 
Yet another instance of an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. For the sake of your life, we gotta give you the tough love on this one. You have two options, essentially. You can go to the hospital, get treated, live, save your hand and take your punishment or you can roll the dice, see if it "heals on its own" and potentially reap the benefits. Personally, I'd aim to keep my hand intact, go homeless and pick up the pieces at a later time, when I still have the use of both hands.
 
Likely an infection. Urgent care will only refer you to ER. Given the look of the infection either go to ER or die a painful death. Sepsis won't be fun for you.
 
Back when I used to shoot heroin, I would get this reaction from missing a shot every now and then, the swelling went down after 15minutes each time, hopefully this is your case, if not , bro you need to go to the hospital. Nothing we say on here will help you, we are not doctors, and we are separated by phone and computer screens. I wish you luck
 
Hey I strongly suggest you go to an emergency room immediately! I had that happen to my right hand 3 years ago, i injected on the top of my right hand and my hand by the 3rd day was so swollen and throbbing that I couldn't move any fingers and if i didn't elevate my hand above my heart the throbbing would hurt so bad...it is an infection, i had Cellulitis, it's a staph infection. I was immediately admitted into the hospital from the ER, I was admitted for over a week with 4 different IV antibiotics around the clock infusion, i could have lost my hand as well I was going sepsis, where the bacteria enters the bloodstream, that shit is life threatening man! I had no insurance at the time but they still must treat you, even with them knowing I was an addict they still treated me for pain you have to stand up for yourself and advocate there's no way you should be not treated for pain just cause you are an addict, call patient advocacy dept and complain if you are denied decency due to the stigma. Best of luck to you, please keep us updated I would personally like to know what all happens.
 
opiatekrzy said:
Back when I used to shoot heroin, I would get this reaction from missing a shot every now and then, the swelling went down after 15minutes each time, hopefully this is your case, if not , bro you need to go to the hospital. Nothing we say on here will help you, we are not doctors, and we are separated by phone and computer screens. I wish you luck
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Well put man. I think we all experience irritaion and redness around injection sites from time to time. The thing is that it usually subsides on its own within a few hours. For myself, I can generally track the trajectory of an irritation, make sure it's actually going down and not up and go from there.
 
Thank you, all of you. They have had me on two grams of antibiotics IV per day for several days now, and my CRP is finally decreasing ... 140 today (or actually yesterday, but I got the results today).
 
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