urselonthewildone
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2025
- Messages
- 2
Hi. Haven't actually posted here in a loooooong time. So long, in fact, that I cannot recall my initial account details and had to make a new one. So, sorry about that.
Anyways, been experimenting with drugs since just out of highschool, on and off, did a lot of stuff in my 20s when I wasn't addicted and stuff was readily available through the mail by various means, pretty much slowly fell down the opioid addiction rabbit hole and haven't had a good time, let alone a meaningful trip in the past 10 years or so. I'm 35 now. And, to be quite frank I am quite simply, done.
I've been done before. Hell, I was even clean for a few months last year. But when I got home I relapsed hard. Always told myself I would slowly lower my dose of subutex or Suboxone until I was free and clear and, instead of doing that, I had them change my wife's prescription (which we were both surviving off of) to pills instead of strips so I could abuse them even further. And then, inevitabley, because of my massive habit I would take too many and we would run out before we could fill her script again, and then either suffer withdrawals or go back to Blues.
It did not help that these generic pills had more filler in them than the ones I used to order online. Quickly gunked up my nose snorting them to the point I was constantly sniffling and could feel my nose becoming damaged. And yet, I couldn't stop .....
I don't know why my brain works the way it does and I hate that sometimes but I always knew to REALLY QUIT you need to be in the proper headspace. And I was just never there. The thing that finally did it was my dealer wasting 4 entire days of my life waiting on her to show up, continually telling my neurotic ass she'd be ready in just one more hour. All I did during that time was sit and wait and do nothing. For 4 WHOLE DAYS!
When she finally did show up, I had a good night with her Blues and that was enough for me. As the movies say, there are last hits and there are last hits. And I feel pretty good going out on that one.
We've missed my wife's appointment so now we don't really have any options but to go cold turkey. I feel so stupid. Why do I have to push myself into a corner to actually get away from this? I had YEARS to do it sensibly! But, whatever. I'm done. I am ready.
I can take the sickness and the weakness. The hardest part is the rampant insomnia. THAT I can barely deal with. But we have some hydroxizine and some trazodone, so hopefully that will help. But I've been thinking. I still have a somewhat decent stash of chemicals from my last order, stuff that I just never got around to trying. And, looking into it there is some scientific evidence of Hallucinogens being able to help with withdrawals.
Most of us know about Iboga but that is usually to help you break your addiction, not help you with the symptoms. Or, so I thought. But the research shows it may help. The paper I read from last year specifically said that Psilocybin might be worth looking into but I can only work with what I have.
Does anyone think this is worth trying? Or am I just the world's biggest idiot to think one drug might help the issues another has caused?
I have some 4-ho-mipt fumarate, 3-meo-pcp, I think I have one VERY STRONG hit of acid, and some 2C-E.
I also still have some DPT but after a life altering experience with it, I think I'm good, lol. Not that I didn't enjoy it, I just don't think there is more for me to learn there. I feel somewhat similar about the 2C-E.
Did a lot of 2C-E back in the day and had my fill to boot. But it is familiar. And maybe I could use a little chat with an old friend right about now.
So, what does everybody think? Which one is the best option? Or is so little known that if I did it, I'd be doing it for science as much as myself?
tl;dr:
I am interested in trying to cope with my withdrawal symptoms by taking one of a couple of Hallucinogens I have laying around that you can find a few paragraphs back. What should I do?
Anyways, been experimenting with drugs since just out of highschool, on and off, did a lot of stuff in my 20s when I wasn't addicted and stuff was readily available through the mail by various means, pretty much slowly fell down the opioid addiction rabbit hole and haven't had a good time, let alone a meaningful trip in the past 10 years or so. I'm 35 now. And, to be quite frank I am quite simply, done.
I've been done before. Hell, I was even clean for a few months last year. But when I got home I relapsed hard. Always told myself I would slowly lower my dose of subutex or Suboxone until I was free and clear and, instead of doing that, I had them change my wife's prescription (which we were both surviving off of) to pills instead of strips so I could abuse them even further. And then, inevitabley, because of my massive habit I would take too many and we would run out before we could fill her script again, and then either suffer withdrawals or go back to Blues.
It did not help that these generic pills had more filler in them than the ones I used to order online. Quickly gunked up my nose snorting them to the point I was constantly sniffling and could feel my nose becoming damaged. And yet, I couldn't stop .....
I don't know why my brain works the way it does and I hate that sometimes but I always knew to REALLY QUIT you need to be in the proper headspace. And I was just never there. The thing that finally did it was my dealer wasting 4 entire days of my life waiting on her to show up, continually telling my neurotic ass she'd be ready in just one more hour. All I did during that time was sit and wait and do nothing. For 4 WHOLE DAYS!
When she finally did show up, I had a good night with her Blues and that was enough for me. As the movies say, there are last hits and there are last hits. And I feel pretty good going out on that one.
We've missed my wife's appointment so now we don't really have any options but to go cold turkey. I feel so stupid. Why do I have to push myself into a corner to actually get away from this? I had YEARS to do it sensibly! But, whatever. I'm done. I am ready.
I can take the sickness and the weakness. The hardest part is the rampant insomnia. THAT I can barely deal with. But we have some hydroxizine and some trazodone, so hopefully that will help. But I've been thinking. I still have a somewhat decent stash of chemicals from my last order, stuff that I just never got around to trying. And, looking into it there is some scientific evidence of Hallucinogens being able to help with withdrawals.
Most of us know about Iboga but that is usually to help you break your addiction, not help you with the symptoms. Or, so I thought. But the research shows it may help. The paper I read from last year specifically said that Psilocybin might be worth looking into but I can only work with what I have.
Does anyone think this is worth trying? Or am I just the world's biggest idiot to think one drug might help the issues another has caused?
I have some 4-ho-mipt fumarate, 3-meo-pcp, I think I have one VERY STRONG hit of acid, and some 2C-E.
I also still have some DPT but after a life altering experience with it, I think I'm good, lol. Not that I didn't enjoy it, I just don't think there is more for me to learn there. I feel somewhat similar about the 2C-E.
Did a lot of 2C-E back in the day and had my fill to boot. But it is familiar. And maybe I could use a little chat with an old friend right about now.
So, what does everybody think? Which one is the best option? Or is so little known that if I did it, I'd be doing it for science as much as myself?
tl;dr:
I am interested in trying to cope with my withdrawal symptoms by taking one of a couple of Hallucinogens I have laying around that you can find a few paragraphs back. What should I do?
