I had a 2 level spinal fusion 10/18 and that was a long, hard, rehab which I was still trying to recover from, and after multiple injections throughout that year, nothing seemed to help my pain, and no PM doc would prescribe me pain meds. I saw 4 PM docs and nobody would prescribe me an opioid, even tho they all agreed my back was beyond fucked. Absolutely ridiculous. I was so miserable this last year from the pain I was self medicating with 30mg oxy but I can no longer afford them.
Fast forward to October 2nd last week and I had my second back surgery and at first my surgeon prescribed me 10mg norco which did nothing, so I called him and he switched me to 10 mg percocet which helps a little bit, but my pain is still completely unmanaged. My surgeon is a caring an empathetic guy so he does what he can to help me, but he said he can only write me scripts for 3 months after surgery than he would have to refer me back to PM. I have been told that there is no denying that I am in sever pain, however because of my age (26) I am being profiled, and i sit in the middle of the demographic which makes it a huge risk to prescribe me opioids. I mean what kind of fucking bs excuse is that?? Also, some of you familiar with my story know I have stage 3 kidney disease and cannot take any NSAIDs. So I'm between a rock, and a hard place, and every day that goes by is just absolutely horrific. I'm losing the will to live and just wish there was an off button. I've tried kratom, smoke weed, and am on lyrica, but nothing really touches the pain. I'm also on high dose steroids, along with a blood pressure medication.
I truly don't think I can go on much longer. I've been dealing with this chronic pain for 5 or 6 years now, and maybe it would be tolerable if a God damn doctor would just script me some pain meds, but they wont. Especially with kidney disease that is getting progressively worse it's not like I'm going to live that long anyways so I wish a doc would just be like, well this guy probably wont live that long anyways so let's just give him whatever opioids he wants/needs to keep him comfortable until he kicks the bucket lol. Unfortunately, I have not met a doctor who agrees with that approach, so now I want to just end my life on my terms, either with a drug od, carbon monoxide poisoning, or a nice bullet to the dome. If i decide to go out with an od, i would like to mix a bunch of opioids with benzos, and just slip into unconsciousness, but don't want to be revived and be retarded after. What is the amount of opioids mixed with benzos to guarantee an od, or is there no science to it? I can kill myself with other options obviously, but I just figured I would try to feel good 1 last time before I fuck off from this shitty place.
Thanks in advance to anybody who takes the time to read this and has any suggestions. Also, sorry if this is in the wrong place, and mods feel free to move it to the appropriate one if this is in the wrong forum.
Fast forward to October 2nd last week and I had my second back surgery and at first my surgeon prescribed me 10mg norco which did nothing, so I called him and he switched me to 10 mg percocet which helps a little bit, but my pain is still completely unmanaged. My surgeon is a caring an empathetic guy so he does what he can to help me, but he said he can only write me scripts for 3 months after surgery than he would have to refer me back to PM. I have been told that there is no denying that I am in sever pain, however because of my age (26) I am being profiled, and i sit in the middle of the demographic which makes it a huge risk to prescribe me opioids. I mean what kind of fucking bs excuse is that?? Also, some of you familiar with my story know I have stage 3 kidney disease and cannot take any NSAIDs. So I'm between a rock, and a hard place, and every day that goes by is just absolutely horrific. I'm losing the will to live and just wish there was an off button. I've tried kratom, smoke weed, and am on lyrica, but nothing really touches the pain. I'm also on high dose steroids, along with a blood pressure medication.
I truly don't think I can go on much longer. I've been dealing with this chronic pain for 5 or 6 years now, and maybe it would be tolerable if a God damn doctor would just script me some pain meds, but they wont. Especially with kidney disease that is getting progressively worse it's not like I'm going to live that long anyways so I wish a doc would just be like, well this guy probably wont live that long anyways so let's just give him whatever opioids he wants/needs to keep him comfortable until he kicks the bucket lol. Unfortunately, I have not met a doctor who agrees with that approach, so now I want to just end my life on my terms, either with a drug od, carbon monoxide poisoning, or a nice bullet to the dome. If i decide to go out with an od, i would like to mix a bunch of opioids with benzos, and just slip into unconsciousness, but don't want to be revived and be retarded after. What is the amount of opioids mixed with benzos to guarantee an od, or is there no science to it? I can kill myself with other options obviously, but I just figured I would try to feel good 1 last time before I fuck off from this shitty place.
Thanks in advance to anybody who takes the time to read this and has any suggestions. Also, sorry if this is in the wrong place, and mods feel free to move it to the appropriate one if this is in the wrong forum.