Relapse Had About 6 Months Clean/Sober; Now Starting Over

[n3ophy7e]

every one i talk to about this says i should be dead.

I would agree. That is hectic. I'm very glad you made it through.

 

[Hippy Flower Fairy]

they where 10mg valium. they where legit in the factory packaging. i had to quit cold turkey. i moved 1000 miles from my supplier

That's insane, did you move to go cold turkey and get off them and away from your dealer?

How long did the insomnia last, did you get bad anxiety and depression? Because that's why I'm to scared to stop again, I can't leave my flat it's that bad when I stop, I've been off and on them so long each time I come off them it's worse because of the kindling effect

But they help me, its the only medication that helps my generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety, sleep which in turn helps my fibromyalgia, I wrote that poem then got off them for ages and yest here I am back to where I was when I wrote it

I can't go though weeks or months of hell, good on you mate for doing that, I just couldn't

 

[dabman]

no it was not planned. dealer got busted and i couldn't afford my habit with street prices. all i could get from my doc was 90 .5mg ataboys .those where gone in two handfuls.

i had bad insomnia before i got hooked. my problem is staying asleep, going thru it now no matter what time i go to sleep im awake a 3am to 5am. i think spending 10 yrs as a firefighter and working for the highway dept plowing snow between those two i never had a normal sleep schedule. i don't remember the anxiety getting to out of control it was there but controllable by deep breathing and getting up walking the dog, playing with the dog pretty much get your mind on something else, something that brings you happiness gets your mind onto something else. or have a friend text you a string of numbers completely out of order. same with the depression i forced my self to get up and do something sweep the floor do dishes just have to keep your mind busy not dwelling on the idea you had to quit. changing your mind set from you had to quit to i wanted to quit was huge for me, but was not easy to do. seeing i ran out of pills and no supplier.

i have only had to quit the one time except the one day i got ahold of more. my whole situation was not your normal addiction i had a free and unlimited supply it got really out of hand . if i could have i would have tapered off the but that would have taken years to do . if i was to taper off i would put someone else i trust in charge of my pills i can't be trusted with them.lol

weed has helped me with this . i don't think i could made it thru without it. maybe i traded one vice for another but i feel weed is by far a healthier route.

 

[Hippy Flower Fairy]

no it was not planned. dealer got busted and i couldn't afford my habit with street prices. all i could get from my doc was 90 .5mg ataboys .those where gone in two handfuls

Oh that's so shit he got busted and you got some off doctor and gone in two handfulls, crikey

i think spending 10 yrs as a firefighter

That's something to be very proud man, well done

same with the depression i forced my self to get up and do something sweep the floor do dishes just have to keep your mind busy not dwelling on the idea you had to quit

But wgen I'm so depressed I don't want to do anything but lay down watch telly, go on phone etc

weed has helped me with this

Can't handle weed anymore, it makes my overthinking 1000 times worse, I can't even put into words how bad it makes me feel, I've probably mentioned it on other threads but, fear, anxiety, worries, past bad memory's, voices telling you you're a bad person, flashbacks etc

Tried CBD in every shape and form, from tinctures oils, to weed, sweets, drinks, alsorts and it don't help, well one did I think it was an oil you put under tounge but an expensive one it helped me taper off mirtazapine but before and since then it's not helped and the CBD weed is fucking rough as assholes, almost coughed up a lung, pain in my lungs for hours after only 4 puffs tasted nothing like weed

 

[dabman]

cbd by it's self does nothing for me . i have to avoid sativas and the sativa heavy hybrids. they make my mind race and kick up the anxiety . the indicas don't seem to do this to me they make it so i can relax with out my mind racing.

 

[Hippy Flower Fairy]

cbd by it's self does nothing for me . i have to avoid sativas and the sativa heavy hybrids. they make my mind race and kick up the anxiety . the indicas don't seem to do this to me they make it so i can relax with out my mind racing

Loads of people tell me to try indica strain but when you buy weed in UK it is just say amnesia or cheese or whatever the new name is that week, they don't know if it's sativa or indica will probably tell me its indica just to sell me it

 

[dabman]

i have had good luck avoiding fluffy bud they seem to lean more sativa . i go for the dense hard nugs, thats my quick way of deciding what i want without listening to the weekly sales pitch. it is very hard here in my part of the states to get the same strain twice in a year. there is always some new named strain every other day. i liked my benzo guy he was my weed guy first. i called him the home depot of weed his strains where named good, better and best.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

i have had good luck avoiding fluffy bud they seem to lean more sativa . i go for the dense hard nugs, thats my quick way of deciding what i want without listening to the weekly sales pitch. it is very hard here in my part of the states to get the same strain twice in a year. there is always some new named strain every other day. i liked my benzo guy he was my weed guy first. i called him the home depot of weed his strains where named good, better and best.

Interesting. Learned something new. I just got some weed and the buds are small and tight. I'm liking it much better than any I have gotten all last winter and most of this summer. I did notice that the fluffy buds may taste and smell awesome but not only do they make me cough ( even with small pulls ) They entice some anxiety as well. I was almost to the point of just not smoking at all ( I don't smoke much. Half a pinner a day and not every day ) but I got a sack the other day and the buds are small and really dense and not only did it not make me cough but there was zero anxiety. I thought to myself where has this been for the last year? Was happy I could actually go back to enjoying a nice afternoon buzz again.

 

[papercuts]

Loads of people tell me to try indica strain but when you buy weed in UK it is just say amnesia or cheese or whatever the new name is that week, they don't know if it's sativa or indica will probably tell me its indica just to sell me it

If you read the descriptions given by the various seed banks on each strain, you can learn which ones are which. Noone is going to try every weed variety, but amnesia = amnesia haze=my fave sativa. Cheese derived from skunk which must be an indica because that was the first weed we got in the UK as it started to replace hash in the early nineteies. Hash was heavily indica, so I think skunk was too, I couldn't tell the difference.

 

[Hippy Flower Fairy]

Hash was heavily indica, so I think skunk was too, I couldn't tell the difference.

Probably why I could smoke them both as a teenager then

 

[Lovecraft]

HI! May I ask what dosage of xanax you take for sleep? Because I was initially prescribed .25 and could take 4x a day. They are fast acting but do nothing to help me sleep. So after about six months or so, my dose was raised to .50. Still doesn't keep me asleep.

thanks,k

I take 1.0 - 1.25 mg and as long as I use it for occasional insomnia, it does the trick because I end up needing it on average once a week.

 

[nethanpaul86]

Give things a bit of time and just slow down. No need to run to fasten up the process. What you did is your past, focus on what better things you can do for yourself. Start by shedding off the negativity and choose health over anything else.