Guys - do you find it a turn off when girls are catty?

[GenericMind]

My rule is: fuck drama. If it involves drama, stay away.

Quoted for truth. Catty women are annoying.

 

[AmorRoark]

Lets be careful here. A lot of people like to confuse 'anger' with 'cattiness'. It's a fine line but being pissed off with the 'system' doesn't necessarily make a woman automatically 'catty'. A lot of people put both of those in the same category and I think it's sexist and wrong. I just wanted to point that out.

 

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

Fuck yeah recons, you've got the right idea. Take your dramas to the fucking Bahamas, sweetcakes.

Catty is a dealbreaker for me. No way in hell would I stay with a woman who was above my league in looks, but had a bitchy mean spirited attitude.

Cattty girls can make really funny friends. Or better yet, friends of friends, to get a little distance from the fire. They'll say some such amazingly awful shit about/to people that you'll just bust up laughing. The petty things they pick fights over can be a riot too, as long as the target isn't you. Well, sometimes even when it is you.

But as far as I'm concerned, they're not girlfriend material.

Edited: AmorRoark, to me the essence of catty is bitchy, mean spirited, and/or vindictive. I've met women who are fiesty and quick to flip, but had hearts of gold. And catty ones who never raised their voices.

 

[inSaMity]

I think it's repulsive. It is one thing that can make pretty girls ugly, and ugly girls happy. I agree that, in MOST cases if a girl doesn't have female friends, it is due to underlying insecurities. This is somewhat offsetting to me because I prefer when people are comfortable and happy with themselves, as it usually makes it easier for them to be comfortable and happy with the things around them. However, this isn't a strong deterent for me as I am very comfortable and secure with myself. I understand that while it's a character flaw, it is one that could have come about from many different things and we all have flaws.

One of the biggest problems my wife and I had initially when we got together was the fact that she was so terribly jealous of other girls. She wouldn't admit it, she just said she hated girls. It wasn't long before i figured it out, when any time a girl said "Hi" to me, suddenly she uncontrollably wanted to give me the greatest sexual sensations I've ever imagined. So I "wasn't allowed" to talk to females, yet every one of her friends was a guy. This could have easily driven me away, but with much tolerance and understanding, I helped her realize this so she can try to work on it, and so that she can see how it makes me feel. I talked with her about it and learned that she had a LOT of very troubling things happen to her that made it easy to see why she would feel that way inadvertantly towards women.

That said, I can't stand it when women do this, it can offset the entire group. Most of the time they'll just go at it with stupid little shit that they think is just between the two, but everyone else notices and it's abnoxious. Holy shit I just typed a lot, sorry.

 

[nikol]

Can't trust a girl without female friends? what the hell? Could it be that she just understands guys better and hates all the drama that comes with girls?

This is the side I'm going to err on (because it's applicable to me ) I mean, my best friend is female, she's been my best friend for going on 6 years now (and is literally the epitome of all that feminine, girly, and related to the XX chromosome- good and bad)- but we live kind of far away so we don't get to hang out as much anymore. Due to that, I now hang out with almost exclusively guys- but the primary reason is because girls find me boring whereas guys do not- because things which I find entertaining to occupy my time are smoking ridiculous amounts of pot, playing Guitar Hero, talking about drugs, etc. I guess it's more an interest-gap; they just don't fine me a lot of fun nor I them.
The biggest inhibitor here, however, is going to have to be age- I'm 20, my boyfriend is 18, so all of our friends are in the range of about 17 to 21. Even though it's not a huge age gap, there are a lot of things changing quickly in that range- mainly graduating high school, college, real world, etc, which changes people A LOT. Girls that graduated the same year or before me are a lot more tolerable than they were in school, although I can't really stand, still, any of the girls that my boyfriend went to high school with. Females that I meet at work, as well, I find I have an easier time getting along with. There's no reason for cattiness, and they know it, being more mature and older. That's the whole point of graduating high school- you realize that the whole world doesn't want to put up with that just because you're pretty! I honestly think age/social range has a HUGE impact on the kind of people that one is willing to socialize with.
My boyfriend and I find most girls unbelieveably annoying, either because they are far too emotional, far too loud, or just not any fun to hang out with because no one can agree on anything to do. I am perfectly sociable in a setting with females, but if it's more than 3 girls (unless they are far outnumbered by the guys) things tend to devolve pretty quickly. Honestly the only girls I see on a regular basis are my male friends' girlfriends, because they are used to the same thing I am-hanging out with lots of guys.
And I would say that it's a reciprocal situation, except that my boyfriend doesn't particularly enjoy hanging out with girls either, and loves that I can just be chill and hang with the guys with no problems at all.

 

[supertrav77]

Blah blah blah, the mods of SLR are so unfair, I'm such a rebel. nobody understands me, but I'm here to bring you the truth anyway guys. I'm a hero, really, a great big hero. Please love me, please?

Moving on.

Anyway, girls are saying "I don't like being friends with girls because X,Y, and Z" But guys don't seem to have a problem hanging out with girls*. How come X, Y, and Z never seems to bother guys?

I was drinking last night and when drinking, I'm not always 100% in my commentary. Occasionally things slip by. Here's a point I should have made earlier in the thread...

I really wish more guys in this world would tell girls to chill the fuck out when their acting like cows to other females, because it's way too common.

You must understand that some guys encourage this behavior. It's a power/ego thing that they dig seeing their woman get jealous. The sight of them in utter terror at the thought of losing their man gives them warm fuzzies.
I'd say there's a decent chance that this short fat dude you're talking about is passive agressively telling his lady stuff to make her freak out.


*I do. But that's another thread.

 

[Beatlebot]

You must understand that some guys encourage this behavior. It's a power/ego thing that they dig seeing their woman get jealous. The sight of them in utter terror at the thought of losing their man gives them warm fuzzies.
I'd say there's a decent chance that this short fat dude you're talking about is passive agressively telling his lady stuff to make her freak out.

Actually yeah, I've seen that happen. Maybe she's insecure because he's making her insecure? Something to think about. It's not like guys never play games.

Trav, fixed your post for ya.

 

[inSaMity]

I'm not taking sides here, just wanted to add something here:

Anyway, girls are saying "I don't like being friends with girls because X,Y, and Z" But guys don't seem to have a problem hanging out with girls*. How come X, Y, and Z never seems to bother guys?

The thing about that one is, we DO mind. Any honest, heterosexual man can tell you that there are certain things that you can apply to almost every girl that drive us crazy. I'm not going to say those things because I'm married and I know better, but there's shit about women that drives us crazy. It's more prevalent with some, and less in others, but there is a reason we deal with it... PUSSY!!! We know that these are things which we must learn to tolerate, ignore, or both or else we get no poon. Dig? Some chicks just choose not to because they're not worried about getting the poon, so have nothing to lose. But i will admit that they probably wouldn't be as apt to attack, were it not from some insecurities.

 

[supertrav77]

My boyfriend and I find most girls unbelieveably annoying, either because they are far too emotional, far too loud, or just not any fun to hang out with because no one can agree on anything to do. .

My reaction to this statement can be found via PM.

I have got to a stage where i don't even wanna be friends with girls anymore because it's just not worth it. They're too touch and go. When you think they're your friend, they're really your worse enemy.

Mmmmmmhmmmmm....

But regardless of how retarded she is, her boyfriend and everyone else just lets her get away with it because she's just a 'typical female'

Ok....

Quoted for truth. Catty women are annoying.

Hey, you said it! Not me!

And I get sick of seeing my friends get led around by their dicks.

Inflection and emphasis doesn't come out in print BB, so I fixed your post as well. I didn't realize how many subliminal messages appear in BL.

 

[Beatlebot]

Mate, like I've told you a thousand times, you are very welcome to start your very own thread about your issues with Sex, Love and Relationships. What I object to is you dragging other people's threads off-topic to make them about yourself.

I've told you heaps via PM, now I'm telling you publically. In future all your off-topic BS will be taken out so we can keep things on-topic.

Start your own thread, I will allow you roam free and unencumbered in there.

 

[arizona83]

Women are just so petty and over dramatic about everything. My girlfriend drives me crazy with constant winging about the smallest things that go on between her little group of friends. They are the biggest back stabbers in the universe I honestly just laugh at them sometimes. I can't see why they can't just tell each other whats on their mind, have a yell or what ever, then have a wine or a breezer and move the fuck on like blokes do. I never realised how bad they were until my GF moved in with me. It makes me glad I'm a bloke.

 

[Rogue Robot]

Edited: AmorRoark, to me the essence of catty is bitchy, mean spirited, and/or vindictive. I've met women who are fiesty and quick to flip, but had hearts of gold. And catty ones who never raised their voices.

I agree. I'm a female, and I can have a sharp tongue sometimes. Am I insecure? No. Some things women (and men, to be fair) irritate the shit out of me, and I usually only put up with it for so long.

I see a lot of cattiness going on, especially in bars and nightclubs. I've had women even make comments about me, and I don't quite get it. It's hard to explain, but I'm not a girly girl. I don't wear skirts and shit out, and if I do, it's very seldom. I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, but still, women make comments about me because I'm talking to males. I don't quite get the being threatened thing, honestly. I guess I see myself as an exception to the rule since I don't see myself as being "that girl".

As far as hanging out with only men, I was one of those girls for a very long time. It was mostly because the people my age that lived around me growing up were males, and after that, I gravitated more toward hanging out with men. I eventually found a FEW females that I could relate to, though most of them are lesbians. So, there's not a competition thing there. I just relate to whomever I can relate to regardless of sex these days.

 

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

^^^ I think women who start shit with you for hanging with men have more of a problem with themselves than with you. They're jealous that you're so at ease with the opposite sex, and have the confidence not to give a shit what others think of you.

After all, isn't your ability to attract the attention of men what determines your place in the pecking order in the world of women? Of course a chick who obsesses over her appearance more than you is going to be resentful when she sees somebody who can get the desired results just as easily in a t-shirt and jeans.

 

[moonyham]

Na when bitches are being catty its a turn off.. angry face = not a turn on, whiney annoying screaming = not a turn on, creating drama over nothing(jealousy) = not a turn on.

 

[lady grey]

I don't think bitchyness is gender based, i've met some guys in my time who outweigh girls i know 10 fold in the being a bitch stakes.

That said if i come accross a girl who is a bitch toward me for no reason, these days, that tends to be the last time i see her. I'm lucky enough to have some really cool girlfriends who i would never even dream of being catty towards and same of them towards me. Otherwise, what is the point? When i come to think of it though they are mostly one on one friendships, so the "group" aspect doesn't play a part.

You have spoken about this girl before dfrs, and for that reason i know you have given her more than a fair go. The fact that you told her how you feel, is totally justified. The guys would be able to see that the cattyness was always coming from her way, and your reaction wasn't cattyness, rather just defending yourself against constant unjustified attacks.

My theory is that a lot of guys actually have a cattyness invisibility ray. When a girl is being a bitch, she may as well be invisible or they just choose to turn a blind eye rather than acknowlege it. Which makes them able to handle it better than girls imo. Most girls i know don't put up with that shit. Good on you for standing your ground with this one babe!

I know it can be tough when you want to keep the peace within a group, it is rare to find a group where this kind of thing doesn't occur. But everyone has a breaking point and i'd say she has been given more than her fair chance to try and find some kind of level you and her could get along but she just won't. It's obviously a jealousy thing and is her issue, if i were you i would just avoid her from now on. You don't need toxic people in your life.

 

[drugfukkdrockstar]

^ Yeah i agree with everything you have said here.

I have completely cut her from my life, just like i have cut other girls in the past for the same behavior. And you're spot on that its rare to find a group of friends where this shit doesn't go on. This why i have always been against being part of groups. But my boyfriend dragged me into this one, and surprise surprise - it happens all over again.

How's this i went to a job interview yesterday, the job seemed really good and all that, but the let down is it is a all female office environment. And during my interview they even hinted to me that there is a lot of politics and cattiness, and that they have lost a lot of people due to it. So they hope they can hire someone who will be able to cope with it.... To hell with that! I have been faced with it enough through out my personal life without having to go to work and deal with it every single day. Considering it's guaranteed as well.... no way!

 

[supertrav77]

How's this i went to a job interview yesterday, the job seemed really good and all that, but the let down is it is a all female office environment. And during my interview they even hinted to me that there is a lot of politics and cattiness, and that they have lost a lot of people due to it. So they hope they can hire someone who will be able to cope with it.... To hell with that! I have been faced with it enough through out my personal life without having to go to work and deal with it every single day. Considering it's guaranteed as well.... no way!

Not sure that's a female specific thing. I used to work in an office environment and it was like high school again. People gossip. People tattle. People are constantly looking for things to use against you.
Mind you, I was hiding lines of coke under my keyboard and snorting them in regular intervals but damn it, people should mind their own business.

 

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

Mind you, I was hiding lines of coke under my keyboard and snorting them in regular intervals but damn it, people should mind their own business.

This cracked me up

I definitely work with a couple people who never mentally left high school, and are far more tolerable (sometimes even fun!) when I show up to work speeding.

 

[Edvard Munch]

I like it when girls fight over me.

 

[threelibras99]

How's this i went to a job interview yesterday, the job seemed really good and all that, but the let down is it is a all female office environment. And during my interview they even hinted to me that there is a lot of politics and cattiness, and that they have lost a lot of people due to it. So they hope they can hire someone who will be able to cope with it.... To hell with that! I have been faced with it enough through out my personal life without having to go to work and deal with it every single day. Considering it's guaranteed as well.... no way!

That is exactly how I lost my last job, actually. I worked with a bunch of catty bitches, and all they cared about was being in a "click" and all they did was gossip and talk shit behind everyones back. I'm not that kinda person at all, but regardless I was always nice to them because I worked with them, and because they were my managers. When they fired me I was pissed cause they couldn't give me one real reason why they were letting me go(but I knew it was just because they didn't like me). It was like being in fucking middle school all over again.