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Growing out of everything you used to enjoy

i'm not telling people not to have kids, but there's nothing in this post by the OP that is making me think "oh yeah, having kids will solve your problem."


even if wars are population control and people die, even if they are gonna make diseases like covid for population control. i think it's still kind of worth it for people to experience being in good families and what not.. kind of twisted. i'd probably rather have stuff like covid than all that goes along with war if there were a choice. getting sick would kind of just be a part of life and feel like gambling.

i don't think there's enough room for everyone to have large families though. a lot of women just need to have kids though. it's something they have to do. i think it might be positive for people to have maybe 1 kid because a women has to experience pregnancy and then so their kid can have company maybe adopt another kid or multiple kids... my cousin's had 5 kids in their family and all of them other than one that turned out gay have multiple kids now. if they keep doing that, that's really a lot of people.

my town just built like 10 new apartment complexes.. walking down the street sucks just cause you run into so many people... there's something nice about having less people.
 
Lately Ive felt like Im having mid life crisis just because of this very topic. From the time that I was born it’s like I immediately just took off running. I didn’t even care to stop so that I could determine where it was that I was suppose to be trying to get to. I just kept running…….

Until recently….when I finally ran into a huge fucking brick wall so I had to stop. So I’ve finally stopped now. That’s why I’m here. It’s what brought me to bluelight awhile back. Because I knew it was time to slow down because I was fixing to have a bad wreck.

Idk. I’m probably not making any sense right now
 
My point is……for most of my life the one thing that always kept me going that got me thru all of the hard times was thinking “but the best is still yet to come”. But whats been so hard lately is that Ive been having to accept that the chance for my dreams has already came and gone. The best that was coming has done came and gone. So Im in mourning of a life that I’ll never get to have. But hopefully this crisis will be over soon tho so I’ll be ok. Im just gonna be really old tho lol

Anyways that’s why I post these lyrics all of the time…..

When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse….
out of the corner of my eye…I turned to look but it was gone….I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown…the dream is gone
I have become comfortably numb

I get it finally. Mid life crisis was what he was talking about….or when your hope dies.

But you have to keep going and not give up. Because they say that happiness actually comes into life on a U curve. Supposedly…..from an accredited source…our best potential of happiness is during our late 50’s and early 60’s!!!!! That blows me away! Makes me happy cause it gives us something to still look forward to. And if you think this doesn’t apply to you because you’re still a beenie baby on a grass hoppers ass then just hold on. It really sneaks up on you. You’ll be there soon enough lol

I know Im crazy. Thank God lol
 
I feel your pain I used to be into tons of music mostly deathcore, death metal, hip-hop, more recent some drill and newer rap. I used to get stoned my entire youth started playing guitar used to have tons of girlfriends and friends in general. I'm 36 now and anime, the video game binding of Issac which I've played over 1000hours of before I started using way harder more addictive substances. I no longer drink or smoke weed or concentrate anymore. I use to be super into LSD in my youth also. I feel you on how burnt out you feel. I was feeling the same way from 20-32. I had a son and worked like an Egyptian slave. Needless to say me and my baby momma aren't together and because of this my work schedule and working. I have started in the last few years to become really invested back into anime, cooking, and more so than all spending time with my son. Idk if getting old has fucked me up. I used to be a dopamine addict basically anything that would flood me id do basically drink, fight, and fuck in my teens and 20s after having a kid however and splitting with my ex I really could care less about women and I have very few friends I actually hang out with. I wish I was the type of person that relied on other people friendships and shit like that. Now it's more focused on my son and current drug habit. Like I said I do get a lot of enjoyment out of good movies, books, and mostly my child. I hope you find something for you and like people have said children don't fix broke relationships. But he's fixing the broken me esp as he gets older. And my main concern is still trying to remain alive to be there for him as his mom is a narcissistic c*not my apologies ladies it's her not y'all. Sorry for the rambling I feel your pain I hope you find some enjoyment in life if you used to dig tv or anime. Try watching and getting invested into yellow jackets, demon slayer, solo leveling, howls moving castle. I can give more recommendations for days but I seem to get whole ranges of emotions now a days from good tv than I do from anything else.
 
Kellsee said:
My point is……for most of my life the one thing that always kept me going that got me thru all of the hard times was thinking “but the best is still yet to come”. But whats been so hard lately is that Ive been having to accept that the chance for my dreams has already came and gone. The best that was coming has done came and gone. So Im in mourning of a life that I’ll never get to have. But hopefully this crisis will be over soon tho so I’ll be ok. Im just gonna be really old tho lol

Anyways that’s why I post these lyrics all of the time…..

When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse….
out of the corner of my eye…I turned to look but it was gone….I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown…the dream is gone
I have become comfortably numb

I get it finally. Mid life crisis was what he was talking about….or when your hope dies.

But you have to keep going and not give up. Because they say that happiness actually comes into life on a U curve. Supposedly…..from an accredited source…our best potential of happiness is during our late 50’s and early 60’s!!!!! That blows me away! Makes me happy cause it gives us something to still look forward to. And if you think this doesn’t apply to you because you’re still a beenie baby on a grass hoppers ass then just hold on. It really sneaks up on you. You’ll be there soon enough lol

I know Im crazy. Thank God lol
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I love flyod too I feel you on getting older and dreams you've had passing you by I feel your pain.
 
I think it's absolutely normal as we age. Sure drugs or any change in lifestyle or relationships will affect this but ultimately it just is...you don't continue to play with teddy bears, action figures or barbies so to speak.

So don't be hard on yourself when you realize you don't do your favorite hobbies that made you who you are(example for me skateboarder and then guitarist--and do them much less now) I have kids sure but doesn't mean I had to quit playing...I think we just adapt and grow as we grow older and more intelligent as human beings...or dumber.
 
How about playing an instrument? It can be less daunting than trying to make full songs. Just an open ended process of exploration and expression. You can get a good guitar for cheap.

Then maybe something with a lot of tricks to learn, like skating but sedentary, maybe something with Design for example?

Just some ideas
 
(lack of) Motivation is the core issue with me, along with PTSD hindering my cognition in a MAJOR way. I feel lazy all the time, cut corners at work. Cleaning my room feels unncessarily exhausting. Eveything I enjoy/used to, I just don't want to anymore. I haven't been jamming w people, not bothered enough to learn DJ'ing, or go to the skate park. For petes sake I live near a college town with lots of pretty girls tanning outside everywhere and somehow don't even feel like going to the gym to get my body in shape, or even going out, being social, getting some good pics taken for my Bumble, etc.

Just an almost fatal level of lethargy bogging me down 24/7. Only full of energy and high-functioning when I get oxys, which is like once every 2 months. Full of brain fog to the point

And honestly, fuck "motivation", I should be able to just get off my ass within a second's notice and be on my way to get ready for xyz activity. Yet I have the energy levels of a grumpy old man (I'm mid-late 20s).

If anyone has helpful advice, I'm all ears
 
Skuubie said:
(lack of) Motivation is the core issue with me, along with PTSD hindering my cognition in a MAJOR way. I feel lazy all the time, cut corners at work. Cleaning my room feels unncessarily exhausting. Eveything I enjoy/used to, I just don't want to anymore. I haven't been jamming w people, not bothered enough to learn DJ'ing, or go to the skate park. For petes sake I live near a college town with lots of pretty girls tanning outside everywhere and somehow don't even feel like going to the gym to get my body in shape, or even going out, being social, getting some good pics taken for my Bumble, etc.

Just an almost fatal level of lethargy bogging me down 24/7. Only full of energy and high-functioning when I get oxys, which is like once every 2 months. Full of brain fog to the point

And honestly, fuck "motivation", I should be able to just get off my ass within a second's notice and be on my way to get ready for xyz activity. Yet I have the energy levels of a grumpy old man (I'm mid-late 20s).

If anyone has helpful advice, I'm all ears
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also, my ADD is out of control. Amphetamines and Ritalin do not work for me. really only opiates help, but I don't wanna depend on them to be high-functioning. If I could cure or at least majorly curb my ADD, I really feel like I could be the person I'm supposed to be.
 
Lack of motivation is prominent with amphetamines(somehow, usually hear the opposite) but it does happen. Find yourself doing absolutely nothing and even aware of it and all the bullshit you could be taking care of.

I hear you, opiates motivate the shit out of me..but without the depression causes me to be severely unmotivated and it's in these time I find myself exploring reasons or guilt of why I stopped this hobby or the other.
 
Try to do something more creative maybe. I get dopamine from like editing pictures or like programming in linux. It feels good to like actually make something to a degree. You will lose enjoyment as you age it's apart of the life process.
 
Skuubie said:
(lack of) Motivation is the core issue with me, along with PTSD hindering my cognition in a MAJOR way. I feel lazy all the time, cut corners at work. Cleaning my room feels unncessarily exhausting. Eveything I enjoy/used to, I just don't want to anymore. I haven't been jamming w people, not bothered enough to learn DJ'ing, or go to the skate park. For petes sake I live near a college town with lots of pretty girls tanning outside everywhere and somehow don't even feel like going to the gym to get my body in shape, or even going out, being social, getting some good pics taken for my Bumble, etc.

Just an almost fatal level of lethargy bogging me down 24/7. Only full of energy and high-functioning when I get oxys, which is like once every 2 months. Full of brain fog to the point

And honestly, fuck "motivation", I should be able to just get off my ass within a second's notice and be on my way to get ready for xyz activity. Yet I have the energy levels of a grumpy old man (I'm mid-late 20s).

If anyone has helpful advice, I'm all ears
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Have you had your testosterone level checked? Thyroid?
 
LucidSDreamr said:
And therein lies the real problem…it was never about the kid, it was about them.
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yeah... i wonder if there's something special about someone becoming a nun or whatever.

i think getting pregnant for some women is just like getting high. a male might feel like they have to experience all drugs. women are kind of raised from birth to want to have kids. there's a lot of wonder to it, and if they don't do it themselves they might not be able to feel their best with the thoughts. it is about themselves, but i don't blame them or think it's bad... the world is kind of over populated and hard to deal with so there are some women afraid to have kids... it kind of bothers me when some people start having tons of kids, and these other women can't even experience pregnancy once. i guess some women might just not be interested in getting bloated and going through the pain of pregnancy. to me though, from what i hear about it, i feel like it would be like a drug that might have some kind of painful side effects, but i'd still want to do it.. i'm a male so i can't 100% say, but i wanted to try pretty much every drug.
 
paranoid android said:
Im 43 and still like drugs but alcohol not so much. Hangovers really fuck me now. Im also not addicted to anything now. I still take opiates, benzos and zopiclone but im not addicted to them now. I also take shrooms and ket cause they dont fuck me up the next day either
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Not here to fight; do you use benzos and that morphine you like to talk about daily and if so how much and how many times. I use both and I was not psychologically addicted; but have I have a legitimate prescription for both and both are needed.

I was prescribed around the clock morphine er and a shorter lasting benzo. It had a low half life and according to the chart was equal to 60mg of Valium( if I took it three times a day and I did)
The pain lessened and I was also on a stronger better opiod as well.

I asked my doctor about getting rid of the morphine and switching too, a weaker by weight, strength, milder benzo; Valium ( diazepam). I was certain after a while I no longer had chronic pancreatitus and didn't need the morphine and less benzo effects to counteract the very hyper state that those opiods put me in and mainly kept me from sleeping. Also helped anxiety and mild to moderate OCD and calmed my mind.

My point is this: Could you just quit using opiods and benzos cold turkey? I decided they were not needed anymore; with no one cutting off any prescriptions or saying anything. I decided I no longer needed the morphine and Ativan( lorazepam).

So one day I decided the relatively low dose I was prescribed of Oxycodne, could handle stomach pains and some occasional pancreatic problems. I would ask later to be put on Valium if I needed a benzo; to fight the Oxycodone from making me hyper and causing insomnia if it were a problem.

No attachment to either and used for pain( morphine) and Ativan to fight insomnia, a constant restlessness and hyper moods they caused. So one day I went cold Turkey off of both and waited it took a little time a grew. What? Discontinuation Syndrome; can you believe that is what the call withdrawal from supposedly good drugs like Antidepressants? So why not, needed and legal prescribed; other medications that were needed? Medical and political bullshit. So I stopped and it built and having gone through full alcohol withdrawal 100-200 easily, well over 2 decades. I thought I could handle it. I waited and after a number of hours way past the time they wore off I began getting uncomfortable and eventually had trouble breathing and felt like I was dying.

I thought I was going to die and I gave in and chewed up a morphine er, 2, 2mg Ativans(twice what I took for each dose) and two extra Oxy's along with the one in me. My question is this could you stop; stop taking opiods( morphine I believe) and benzos for two weeks and have no side effects like withdrawal and possibly death? I am not being confrontational. Just wondering.
 
Jnowhere said:
Not here to fight; do you use benzos and that morphine you like to talk about daily and if so how much and how many times. I use both and I was not psychologically addicted; but have I have a legitimate prescription for both and both are needed.

I was prescribed around the clock morphine er and a shorter lasting benzo. It had a low half life and according to the chart was equal to 60mg of Valium( if I took it three times a day and I did)
The pain lessened and I was also on a stronger better opiod as well.

I asked my doctor about getting rid of the morphine and switching too, a weaker by weight, strength, milder benzo; Valium ( diazepam). I was certain after a while I no longer had chronic pancreatitus and didn't need the morphine and less benzo effects to counteract the very hyper state that those opiods put me in and mainly kept me from sleeping. Also helped anxiety and mild to moderate OCD and calmed my mind.

My point is this: Could you just quit using opiods and benzos cold turkey? I decided they were not needed anymore; with no one cutting off any prescriptions or saying anything. I decided I no longer needed the morphine and Ativan( lorazepam).

So one day I decided the relatively low dose I was prescribed of Oxycodne, could handle stomach pains and some occasional pancreatic problems. I would ask later to be put on Valium if I needed a benzo; to fight the Oxycodone from making me hyper and causing insomnia if it were a problem.

No attachment to either and used for pain( morphine) and Ativan to fight insomnia, a constant restlessness and hyper moods they caused. So one day I went cold Turkey off of both and waited it took a little time a grew. What? Discontinuation Syndrome; can you believe that is what the call withdrawal from supposedly good drugs like Antidepressants? So why not, needed and legal prescribed; other medications that were needed? Medical and political bullshit. So I stopped and it built and having gone through full alcohol withdrawal 100-200 easily, well over 2 decades. I thought I could handle it. I waited and after a number of hours way past the time they wore off I began getting uncomfortable and eventually had trouble breathing and felt like I was dying.

I thought I was going to die and I gave in and chewed up a morphine er, 2, 2mg Ativans(twice what I took for each dose) and two extra Oxy's along with the one in me. My question is this could you stop; stop taking opiods( morphine I believe) and benzos for two weeks and have no side effects like withdrawal and possibly death? I am not being confrontational. Just wondering.
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Ya i usually only take the opiates 2 weeks out of the month then the benzos 2 weeks of the month. That way i dont get a habit on either these days
 
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