This is a very good idea because it can be easy to falsely romanticize the time when I was using and not notice or take for granted all the little things that have improved since quitting. Some things I am grateful for:
- Being able to travel. (After I quit heroin and was still on methadone yes I
could travel, but even then it was so stressful having to make sure I was going to have enough to last me for the trip, picking it up before the trip, wondering if something happened like a flight was delayed would I have enough to last until I got back, wondering if I would get a hassle at airport security, not being able to go to countries where methadone was illegal, etc. One time I had my methadone in my checked luggage and the airline lost my luggage - that was a traumatic experience!)
- Not having to worry about obtaining drugs, having enough drugs, when/where I can do them, all that crap. Even on methadone I still had to worry about all that stuff.
- Not feeling like I am at the mercy of a dealer, doctor, clinic or pharmacist.
- Not being afraid about things like what if I had to move, what if there was a war or natural disaster, what if laws changed, what if my dealer or doctor retired or died, etc, and how I would be completely unable to function if anything like that cut off my drug supply.
- Be able to have the dream of moving to a different country someday.
- Not having to hide/lie about my drug use, (well I still feel like I can't tell everyone everything about my past drug use, but that's a whole lot easier than hiding active drug use!)
- Starting to notice tiny improvements in the way I feel since quitting. It's admittedly very slow going but it makes me happy to see any progress because I think back to how I felt in acute withdrawal and how I used to think I literally couldn't live without drugs. Clearly I can
- Not having to deal with side effects like chronic constipation (I know, TMI, LOL).
- Not waking up in acute withdrawal every day.
- Since quitting IV drugs (which was a long time ago, but still): Not having to spend hours in tears searching for a vein and feeling stupid and ashamed. Not having to hide my track marks and bruises. [If this stuff is too triggering for people let me know and I'll remove it].
