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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

Good Luck With The New Job Mydrugbuddy

It's ll give you some structure to your day mate . Give you a reason to get out of bed and not to overdo things.

The only problem I found with office jobs where your among a large team is sometimes you think to yourself "would it even matter if I was here or not?" which is a dangerous thought as it means the next time you wake up feeling a bit iffy you have a mental reason to say "fuck it" (speaking from experience here).

With my current job I tend to feel more that people are relying on me to be there (which they are) so when my alarm goes at 4:45 I have to get up regardless.

I know you found your last job unfulfilling. I really hope hat this one is better.

Wishing all the best for you mate. I think you deserve a break <3
 
Its worse in a small team because thats the situation i was in with my last job, alot more is required of you and you will be asking yourself the opposite ....Have i made myself a valuable member?. England most jobs are pointless mate i couldn't care if my job was pointless but i was getting an alright wage.
 
I think the point I was making is that when you start to feel that your job isn't all that vital to the running of the place and the slack could easily be picked up by the rest of the team for that one day (that is if they even knew you weren't there in the first place)....this is when complacency creeps in. This is more common within a larger team.

One morning of lateness soon turns to 2 then 3. Same with days off, being excessively tired/nodding off at your desk etc. (I'm guilty of all of these things myself at one times or another in my old job). However, I put that down almost completely due to lack of a sense of fulfillment within the job itself...but I'm sure MDB will rise to the occasion and thrive and prosper in his new job.


In my last career (finance manager) I often felt that my job was pointless, even working in NHs finance. The senior managers had no idea what life was really like on the sharp end and tend to think that their jobs exist just to serve themselves and get paid a fat wage without actually giving a fuck about the patients. The self serving, self important culture was rife.... and it did my fucking head in.

Now I've got out of that environment, I do actually feel that my job is worthwhile and isn't at all pointless. Horses for courses really as some find finance management very interesting and rewarding but I could never get my head around that type of thinking since the stuff we were doing day to day was anything but exciting,
 
Its not exciting, its pointless like 90 percent of jobs. The point is all your time is consumed by banality so that you spend twice as much on shit, which in our case is drugs instead of material possessions. %)
 
The more money you have then the more money you spend thats how it works. i was spending shit loads on drugs this year cos i had the money and didn't honestly give a fuck. If i didn't do that then i would just have a load of pointless things like Smart phones, all them things normal people buy for a 2 minute buzz and get bored of it, or i could save money for a future in Cameron's britain. Haha a future in this country

Or maybe i'm just addicted and slightly delusional, fk knows
 
I sort of need to put in a decent showing in this job partly for my own self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence and all that. I had some DHC to smooth out any first week nerves which was cheating, but it made that awkward bit of being the new guy and feeling judged a walk in the park. I felt very confident, some might say that was just a false sense of confidence, so there'll be no more DHC for a while.

I could see the DHC becoming a habit extremely easily so i had to stop when i ran out of stock on/after Dec 25th. Fortunately i have no w/ds atall thanks to kratom. Unfortunately ive become habituated to fairly large multiple daily redoses of kratom. I Will have to work very hard on trying to stabilise and then reducing the daily doses. I think that may be slightly easier done with a job to occupy myself with, hopefully it will take my mind off things a bit and the days wont feel so long. Hopefully. :\

I still dont know wtf is going on with my benzos, the etiz-pg mix seems to be a write-off, and sometimes even diclaz pellets dont seem to work, i spose there might be a few dud pills amongst the batch i bought, which doesnt help. I only have a handful of intaas etilaam etizolam blisters left.:(

(If you see this) You're partly right BHM in that i do have a fair sized leaning tower of Piza stack of problems on my plate to deal with, and speculation about others is a pointless exercise (as you said in another thread). But I dont agree that I shouldn't think about anything else except my own problems. Perhaps one of the best ways of dealing them is to try to think about them as little as possible, once ive got some sort of plan in place and up and running, then in that case the less i dwell on my own problems and try to think about other things the better i think. :\
 
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Was very pleased when I read this. With months of losing your job, n all the difficulties with the job centre only giving you £6, then messing around with your benefits n a daily dose of whinging Evey----you successsful got yourself a new job. Proud of you, no one deserved it more. I hope you're enjoying it better than the other one. I believe that we always get what we truly deserve n that's why this happened.
Although it's not the right thread I want to wish you the best of luck with your taper you've done ace so
Far. I know I couldn't do it as I'd be tempted to take more than what I'm meant to, especially when you're having to take lower n lower doses. You'll get there. Very inspiring to others following suit.

Evey
 
cheers evey and bear, been there 4 weeks now, not been absent yet (i should hope not too, but that was one of the big mistakes i made with my last job, pulling 2 sickies in the early days before i had adjusted to working again, atleast thats my excuse and im sticking to it 8() Ive been a little bit late a couple of times, but so far the manager has been chilled and there havent been any issues.

Hopefully i can stay there a while and stabilsise/replenish my finances, also gonna try to work out a kratom stem and vein and codeine taper timed to end completely at the easter weekend. Some people may think im mad for switching 'up' to codeine from kratom, but im already dabbling with dhc ontop anyway, i dont get high off codeine, (but i do off dhc) so theres no danger of me abusing the codeine, and it will substitute for kratom, hopefully keeping me fine and dandy, if a little drowsy, and the w/ds are far shorter lived than kratom w/ds which although relatively physically very mild are really quite psychologically miserable things to go through and can last 1 month or longer.

So for the last month i'll try to stabilise and taper as low as poss with kratom stem and vein for a couple of weeks, with its antagonist action is meant to help reset receptors much more quickly than they would otherwise, and then a quick 2 week codeine taper to finish by the easter weekend, which will hopefully mask most of the kratom w/ds and any codeine wds will be over and done with much quicker than the prolonged kratom wds. Thats the plan anyway. The main thing is keeping the codeine taper as brief as possible, the w/ds off 2 weeks tapering use of a short acting mild opi shouldnt be much, although im not sure how it will be coming at the tail end of a several month multiple dayly dose kratom spree though:\
 
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