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RCs good god, MDPV withdrawal after 1000mg binge, seriously?

The finite nature of the flesh.

I dont get why mdpv is so well known to be fucking terrible, not that great of a high just makes you fiend out more then crack
.. after such miserable experiences people still want it??
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That's a logical conclusion... and that would work fine for a logical person. Enter Me; I have a seriously fucked background that makes/allows me to thrive on chaos/violence...survivng the next brain-blasting bell-ringing hit of crack+50mg PV smoked together in a tin foil pipe stuffed with chore boy. Surviving the next 2 minutes..like a firefight in Iraq.

Picture me at the Jackpot Motel...dead of summer...no AC...smells like piss and vomit...nothing legal EVER happens here...a black hooker that I picked up sits on the bed smoking crack and talking too much...I just got done smashing and degrading her for about the last hour...now she's trying to con me...constantly trying to con me...I'm already tweaked like a livewire and then the bitch opens the door to let 2 thugs in to rob me...I grabbed my pants and jumped into the bathroom about 6 inches ahead of deadly grabbing hands...now I'm fearing for my very life and thinking very fast because there is no window big enough for me to escape from.... I take the square lid off the toilet tank and break it in half on the side of the sink to use as a weapon...I'm pouring sweat... one of them says "open up muffucka... whatchu doin?" Then the hooker tries to con me out that everything is cool. She's calling me "Baby". My possible death, or near-death is close at hand...but I would rather die than scream for help. And on top of that I'm really not here mentally; I have checked out of this reality and the pain that lies ahead...not afraid of death, afraid of dying...detaching...no longer tethered to the physical realm...I am hoping to wake up or something...pouring sweat...it's a hundred fuckin degrees in here...I turn off the lights and stand up on the sink so I might have the drop on 'em if they break down the door; they might not see me before I see them. I hold the rectangular tank lid up above my head ready to smash it down on the face of any clown that decides to open the door. I'm ready to attack..my brain is reeling and on fire... my muscles are tense like stone. I am ready to pounce. I can barely get out the words, but I say "I'm'a take one of you wit me man, just move on man I'm not worth it..." I can see their shadows under the door. In this moment I am alive like never before. I can feel God and primal instincts. Survival....Life.... The universe tells me to not let go... I am on the razors edge clinging. I am nothing but a hardcore urge to survive. I wait for 20 minutes but I can still see their shadows moving under the door after they pretended to leave the room. Eventually, after about an hour they leave but I ain't bout ta come out of my stronghold, that's what they're waiting for...for me to expose my flank...I will not let down my guard... So I stayed in that bathroom all night. Several hours passed as I stood there until my muscles started giving way and I was starting to faint in there. I slipped and fell down and stepped right on a shard of shattered porcelain which lodged itself up in my foot so now I'm bleeding. Got blood on my wallet and insurance card. I waited for the sun to come up and flood the area with light. Then I finally came out to a surreal world of 3 dimensions. I'm not sure how much of this scene and how much was imagined. One of the problems in the post-traumatic re-entry of reality phase where it's time to pick up the pieces and and reflect is deciphering which was real and which was PV in the first place...it's like being a full-on paranoid schizophrenic


These types of scenes repeat themselves often

Back to why I would keep putting myself through all this shit. I mean, yeah, I know, like after all the hell-on-earth this substance has given me, it still provides me with those rare moments of heaven/ecstasy and that's what this game's all about to me; that little tiny piece of heaven is more valuable than ANYthing and ANYone. Don't try to sell me guilt-free joy, it's too much work. I've done my time and paid my dues. Now it's my time to shine.

I'm not lying to myself here; I know I'm a fuckin idiot, riddled with perception problems. So this is what I do until that day my heart pops, or I stroke out, or get arrested or shot dead behind a crack house.

Yes, even after all that self destruction I still want PV...and I still get it... and if PV is unavailable just substitute with a-PVP. They both guarantee the same ultra-distortion of reality. The horrors of PV get worse and worse, so the pleasure becomes more and more valuable, hence, an object for my obsessions. What you've read about my experiences earlier are a picnic in comparison to the nuclear fallout of consequences and pure brutality of the last year or so. I sold my soul for the pleasures of the flesh and the devil is rich and giving idol.
 
Love your trip reports, you should consider becoming a writer. If RC's like these were around in hunter s thompsons time, Im sure fear and loathing in las Vegas would have been even crazier. That or he'd never have written cause he died from his heart giving out lol. Enjoy ur posts a lot though, care to share another trip report/story?
 
Ur the dirtyest Soap i know!!! Nice see u around, Plz keep us updated wit ur chronic underground chaos tales...bring me psykosis-apocalyptik memory...only my son keep me away from my inner wasterland wanderer,wtv keep u alive dirty-Soap story guy
 
Soap MacTavish said:
What you've read about my experiences earlier are a picnic in comparison to the nuclear fallout of consequences and pure brutality of the last year or so. I sold my soul for the pleasures of the flesh and the devil is rich and giving idol.
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God damn it Soap...
I want more stories.
 
I remember reading the first post of this thread the day that I joined Bluelight just 2 years and 14 days ago. I remember leaning back in my chair after finishing as my wife sat beside me in our computer room. We most of both finished reading it at the same time because as leaned back I heard her let out a big exhale like she had been holding her breath for some time. I said "Wow" and we just sat there for a few moments in silence as we absorbed everything we just read. Then I said, "Fuck, I wish I knew where he was getting HIS PV from!"
 
DAMN!! MDPV wasn't that intense to me granted only 80mg orally when I did it. Hope your alright. When my friend OD'd it was on 250mgmephedrone 30mgMDPV and 30mg 2c-d RC's can be real dangerous and addicting I couldn't stop snorting 2c-e with breakfast for a while. Someone earlier mentioned MXE addiction that is another mega addicting RC o truly think people should stay away from them unless your already mad experienced with RC or the person showing you has had several decades of experience. I mean shit most RC especially all the 2c-x have been around since the 1980's freaking MPA first synthesized in 1942 shit been around a long time don't know why they took so long to pop off
 
I know this is an old thread, but I've read Soap's stories so many times throughout the past few years that I feel the need to post today. Soap, first of all, your writing is more visceral than any I've seen, and it captures the essence of uppers better than any. The town I live in saw a huge RC boom back in 2010-2011 (cathinones.) I started doing IV mephedrone all the time (250-300 mg and you're experiencing euphoria beyond that of God.) Unfortunately, in the grey market of that year it was common to sell other, more tweaky RCs as mephedrone. I've done at least 4-5 shots of MDPV, and each time it's been around 200-250mg (a good meph dose), so you can only imagine the fallout...everything you've described though is brutally honest. With meth (which is prevelant in my area) at least you know that you're about to venture into insanity. With MDPV, you can be seeing shadows by day 2. Hell, a quarter gram shot generally has me up for 3-4 days without redosing...the paranoia is insane.

Sorry for ranting, but this thread speaks so much truth to me, and has discouraged me from continuing stim use over the years. Soap, I truly hope that you're alright.
 
I've done at least 4-5 shots of MDPV, and each time it's been around 200-250mg
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Damn! I cannot, for the life of me, comprehend how anyone could handle a quarter gram shot of MDPV.

A quarter gram, insufflated over hours, gave me a hellish comedown. The worst stim comedown I've ever had.

But all at once.... IV... ye gods...
 
hope you are ok now that it's been a couple years. I did mdpv around 2 years ago and it was by far the worst stim psychosis i ever experienced. I dosed about the same as you, around 1000mg snorted over the course of 2 days. I was a naive teenager at the time and I happened to be big on coke, my dealer told me he could get me this stuff that's cheaper, uncut, and stronger then coke so I was very intrigued. I had heard of bath salts before but I didn't know dosages and such, me being foolish I was taking lines of this stuff as if it were coke. I ended up staying up for 3 days and felt like I was retarded and couldn't function at all, I had to muster up all my strength just to make sense out of common things. After my little binge I couldn't sleep for more then 1-3 hours a day and had extreme auditory and visual hallucinations for weeks. I haven't touched mdpv since. feeling a lot better but I still feel like the mdpv still fucks with me sometimes, sometimes I lose my train of thought very quickly, occasional twitches, and a mild feeling like I'm disconnected from reality. I feel like this would be much more enjoyable in smaller oral doses, freebase or snorting makes you more vulnerable to redosing (not sure about IV) and it's addicting as it is. anyways lesson taken, I'm never touching mdpv or any other RCs again.

to anybody who is thinking about doing pv or any other RCs in general, please be careful and do your research.
 
Hi im new at this and trying to get my head around all the terminology but would synthacaine be classed as an RC and how do i find out what is really in it??
 
^Sounds like a vendor "special (or un-special as the case may be) blend" of God know's what shite stimulants, with a dumb name like that. Probably a blend of various 'caines' such as dimethocaine and the like. Or it could be one or more of a hundred different ill-researched RC stims which lack any empirical pharmacological/toxicology profiles. As I'm typing this some chemist somewhere is certain they've just synthesized a winner that will be as good as amphetamine... Honestly it could be anything; I'm fairly certain there is no specific chemical compound which goes by that name. But search around BL and you'll probably find your answer.
 
morphonorconic said:
^Sounds like a vendor "special (or un-special as the case may be) blend" of God know's what shite stimulants, with a dumb name like that. Probably a blend of various 'caines' such as dimethocaine and the like. Or it could be one or more of a hundred different ill-researched RC stims which lack any empirical pharmacological/toxicology profiles. As I'm typing this some chemist somewhere is certain they've just synthesized a winner that will be as good as amphetamine... Honestly it could be anything; I'm fairly certain there is no specific chemical compound which goes by that name. But search around BL and you'll probably find your answer.
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It's methiopropamine according to someone on here.
 
Just wanted to say I started following Soap's posts a few months ago from his post on another thread about amphetamines and heart issues and this guy really has been there and done that, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind. Even on that post, when he described going to the emergency room a few times when he was 22 off of doing too much speed (not the RC's talked about on here), and how he recovered from that low point and made himself up to the point that he had a wife and kids, I mean, it's pretty obvious this guy has had a really, really, really tough past, inundated with drug use, sometimes sporadic, sometimes continuously for long periods of time. From what I've dealt with from post-amphetamine-addiction fallout, and it hasn't been that pretty but it nowhere near compares to the severity of Soap's past, even coming off of a last-time dosage of 200 mg of amphetamines is a BITCH. It is just unpleasant. And, honestly, life for me is alright in general, mostly because I'm still in my young 20's and finally off the addiction bandwagon, but I still am essentially very fearful of getting into health problems by my 40's, 50's, or younger (for comparison, all 4 of my grandparents died in their 80's/90's and never really had any serious health issues til they reached old age), just because of some stupid choices I made when I was 20-21-22. The shit just gets ridiculous (compounded by how I was using the speed to help me out in college to help prepare for my future, pretty ironically, now that I think about it - obviously I should have just studied naturally, but that's a totally different story and a different post).

Anyway, basically just wanted to pay my respects to Soap as a writer - you got the gift, my friend. Some people are just born to write. If you're still out there, Soap, please, write down your life for your family and friends, show them how talented you are, man. You owe that much to yourself, without a doubt. Other than that, I personally just hope you made it, Soap. I know it's hard as all hell and that the odds of making it out O.K. are probably not in your favor, but if you've done it before, and you're still alive, then you can do it again. It has been a while since he last posted - let's all just hope that he's made it (his last post is from September of 2012). Soap's threads are easily some of the best straight up drug literature I've found on this site, and I can't imagine many posters on here being either more original or more emphatic with their ability to just tell a good story. Peace out homes. Wishing you the best, in this life or the next.

As a quick note, I would like to say that I think this site could put a compendium together of all of Soap's writings as taken from his posts on this site and make an educational collection of some sorts detailing the life of a speed/RC, etc. addict. Not really sure at all if that is possible, legal, or even ethical (and it might not be, I'm purely throwing this out as a suggestion), but, nonetheless, I think if someone affiliated with this site put the time and effort in that would be required, compiling all of Soap's writings would provide enormous benefit to readers of empirical accounts on drugs in general, and uppers specifically. Personally, if such a compilation of Soap's writings were able to be put out there, I think they would do quite well, rather read by a popular or academic-oriented market of readers. Just my opinion though.
 
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This is more sad than anything. Dude isn't writing any books. He's a dead man.
 
It's true, I should be dead several times over, but I am - as far as I can tell - quite alive. I have a pile of notebooks here that I have filled over the last several years, mainly during my "down time" at Marion correctional institution. One notebook contains the chronicle of my last high quality bender. In this one I completely smashed the inside of a motel room. I even broke the windows and stepped on the glass at some point. I overturned the bed and the dresser and pulled the light fixtures right out of the walls complete with arcing electricity and smoke. You see, there were people back there, behind the walls, and this trashed out bitch was howling for my blood callin me a homo. Tellin her boyfriend to shoot me in the fuckin face. I was sure those fucks next door we're drilling through the wall in which to blast a hole in the precious face of your humble narrator. You think im'a go out like that? So I did what any sane American would do and I barricaded myself in, and then things got bad. By the time the police broke the door down I was in a really bad way my friends. Really bad indeed. Whoever it was in that room was not human at all.

At the hospital I knew there was a conspiracy going on with the staff. They'd fuckin had it with me. So before they could inject me with poison I bolted and ran for my very life I did. I ran down the ER with this orderly and 2 cops in hot pursuit and encountered a door with 2 large glass windows on each half of it. I jumped clean through the bottom window at high speed, plate glass and all. Cut my face up real nice in the process and landed right on top of the glass - luckily the glass broke into cubes but it still cut my leg when the orderly and police jumped on top of me and pinned me down in it. The last thing I remember is grinding my fingernail into this cops wrist with all the strength I could muster, fighting for my life.

I woke up in restraints with doctors checking to see if my eyes had been cut. A chunk of my nose had been gouged out by the glass and was now missing in action, which I still have a scar from today.

Life goes on. I live another day. I do another stint. I say hello.
 
Glad to see you're still around soap, I remember us going through mdpv psychosis at the same time. I very much hope you're able to end this ongoing pattern of self destructive behavior.
 
Man… I’ve never had this issue with MDPV… And I inject. I also did 2g straight. No withdrawals at all. I need to finish my write-up. :/

I hope you’re better now, buddy.
 
when the things start to get nasty

never had problems with peeve +, but I know them from my alcohol days where the open pschosis 'Vault' (Soteria) shares the same smokers cell.

Can be actually funny to talk about in the situation, but..

so there is where i my inspiration comes. And is not every good trip a small psychosis?
M5gS2f3.jpg

img by me Uranium IsotopeNoids
 
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