hockey4life
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2013
- Messages
- 51
Hi guys/ girls this is my first post! Just wanted to say I have been an avid reader of this awesome site for the last 5 years or so! The advice and positive non-judgmental atmosphere is very nice! I'm a 24 year old male!
Recently, in May I tried heroin for the first time. My previous opiate experience had been with codeine, hydrocodone, and oxycodone. The codeine and hydrocodone never provided me with a "high" but the oxys hit the spot. I was doing the blue 30mg oxycodone ir pills for the last year. However I would only need to take one pill orally on an empty stomach and I would never get high more than once every two weeks.
In May, I lost my oxy connect, and one of my good friends who is also a heroin addict was able to get me a bag of heroin for a fraction of the price of one pill. The first couple times I tried heroin i sniffed a small line and was disappointed, it just felt like a weak oxy high and I just felt heavy and numb. However, the fourth time I tried H, I dosed a slightly larger amount all at once compared to the other few times where I spaced out the lines... Needless, to say within 5 minutes I felt <really good> that blew oxy out of the water lol! i started doing H once a week, but found myself counting down to my using day which was Wednesday. I would wake up Thursday morning thinking, "only 6 more days till I can do heroin!" Friday would be ,"only 5 more days till Wednesday!" etc... When Wednesday came I would be extremely happy as soon as I woke up knowing I would be getting high that night and would be feeling THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD! This pattern continued for a good month.
As the summer progressed into June and July I began using more sporadically, and more often such as 2-3 times a week sometimes these days would be all in a row. The cravings for heroin were becoming stronger and stronger on my off days, and every time I broke a new rule such as using more than two nights in a row, i would justify it and it would keep progressing... My previous hobbies such as going to the gym, or playing sports, took a backseat in my life and seemed dull and boring. As all of this was happening I started realizing that the high from heroin was becoming shorter and shorter while at the same time I was railing larger and larger amounts of east coast powder up my nose.
By August, this pattern took another downward spiral and I found myself now getting high 4-5 times a week and i was now using many nights in a row. For example, get high 5 nights in a row, take a day off (felt bored, depressed, craved heroin but felt fine physically no signs of withdrawal), binge for another 4-5 days, take a day off, repeat.... The depression seemed to be building the more I used and had been getting stronger on my off days.
Fast forward to the end of September, 4 months after first trying heroin and I have now completely caved in
Since 9/25/13 i have been snorting heroin everyday anywhere's from 1-4 bags a day. As the weeks went by I kept rationalizing and coming up with these STUPID reasons to use saying,"just a few more bags, I'll stop after Halloween, I got a nice paycheck let's have some fun, I'll stop next week, next week blah blah blah etc."
Here I am right now guys 11 weeks into this binge and i'm now scared to stop this... I have NEVER been sick off opiates before. Even though I heavily suspect I am dependent on heroin I have no idea what to expect since I have not gone more than 16 hours without snorting heroin since September 25!!! My friends all say that day 2 and 3 will be hell on earth and that 16 hours is nothing and not enough time to experience withdrawal. I have a new job starting Monday so I have about 3-4 days to get through the worst of this detox. I don't want to be dependent on a drug at work where I will eventually be suffering withdrawals if I don't have it in me before I go to work!
I got 2 bags of H today. I did half a bag this morning caught a nice buzz and enjoyed a coffee lol, and I'm about to do the other 1.5 bags now <snip>
After this my goal is to take at least a few weeks off! I have tomorrow off and the weekend off to suffer through this before I start work on Monday!
I will keep u guys posted, I'm just looking for advice/support/opinions/suggestions anything really feel free
Thanks, you guys/girls are the best
-hockey4life
Recently, in May I tried heroin for the first time. My previous opiate experience had been with codeine, hydrocodone, and oxycodone. The codeine and hydrocodone never provided me with a "high" but the oxys hit the spot. I was doing the blue 30mg oxycodone ir pills for the last year. However I would only need to take one pill orally on an empty stomach and I would never get high more than once every two weeks.
In May, I lost my oxy connect, and one of my good friends who is also a heroin addict was able to get me a bag of heroin for a fraction of the price of one pill. The first couple times I tried heroin i sniffed a small line and was disappointed, it just felt like a weak oxy high and I just felt heavy and numb. However, the fourth time I tried H, I dosed a slightly larger amount all at once compared to the other few times where I spaced out the lines... Needless, to say within 5 minutes I felt <really good> that blew oxy out of the water lol! i started doing H once a week, but found myself counting down to my using day which was Wednesday. I would wake up Thursday morning thinking, "only 6 more days till I can do heroin!" Friday would be ,"only 5 more days till Wednesday!" etc... When Wednesday came I would be extremely happy as soon as I woke up knowing I would be getting high that night and would be feeling THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD! This pattern continued for a good month.
As the summer progressed into June and July I began using more sporadically, and more often such as 2-3 times a week sometimes these days would be all in a row. The cravings for heroin were becoming stronger and stronger on my off days, and every time I broke a new rule such as using more than two nights in a row, i would justify it and it would keep progressing... My previous hobbies such as going to the gym, or playing sports, took a backseat in my life and seemed dull and boring. As all of this was happening I started realizing that the high from heroin was becoming shorter and shorter while at the same time I was railing larger and larger amounts of east coast powder up my nose.
By August, this pattern took another downward spiral and I found myself now getting high 4-5 times a week and i was now using many nights in a row. For example, get high 5 nights in a row, take a day off (felt bored, depressed, craved heroin but felt fine physically no signs of withdrawal), binge for another 4-5 days, take a day off, repeat.... The depression seemed to be building the more I used and had been getting stronger on my off days.
Fast forward to the end of September, 4 months after first trying heroin and I have now completely caved in

Here I am right now guys 11 weeks into this binge and i'm now scared to stop this... I have NEVER been sick off opiates before. Even though I heavily suspect I am dependent on heroin I have no idea what to expect since I have not gone more than 16 hours without snorting heroin since September 25!!! My friends all say that day 2 and 3 will be hell on earth and that 16 hours is nothing and not enough time to experience withdrawal. I have a new job starting Monday so I have about 3-4 days to get through the worst of this detox. I don't want to be dependent on a drug at work where I will eventually be suffering withdrawals if I don't have it in me before I go to work!
I got 2 bags of H today. I did half a bag this morning caught a nice buzz and enjoyed a coffee lol, and I'm about to do the other 1.5 bags now <snip>

I will keep u guys posted, I'm just looking for advice/support/opinions/suggestions anything really feel free

Thanks, you guys/girls are the best
-hockey4life
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