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Girlfriend wants to re-enact her molestation/ rape

T

Tr1p

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 16, 2005
Messages
168
Okay, I'm EXTREMELY uncomfortable to say the least.

Last night we were watching an episode of Law and Order SVU and she started bawling out of nowhere. The show was about a child molester who molested his daughter when she was 11. Apparently, something very similar happened to her.

Now I've met this girls father and he is this pathetic little asian man. She says she has never been able to get over this and her sexual life has suffered.

She says she still thinks about it almost every day and every time she talks to him. But long story short, she's absolutely convinced by role playing (me being her father), she'll be able to get over this.

She wants me to wait for her to fall asleep on the couch while I'm drinking beer. Carry her to her room. Tell her all this shit about how much I love his "daughter", how I'll always be there for his daughter if she let's me put my dick in her mouth. ect.

I'm really not sure I am up for this. I think it'll have the opposite effect if anything! Reenacting a rape is NOT normal therapy,but she's convinced.

She sees a therapist and nothing has worked. She's telling me how I must not care about her and that if I loved her I'd help her with this.

I'm lost. Help?
 
Hmm sounds like she's trying to turn a bad situation into something she can cope with... and she is trying to turn it into a fantasy rather than being a traumatic experience. I think that's a very normal reaction as well.

This is a hard one. I don't think it's very fair of her to expect you to fit the role of a child molester just to cure herself. This isn't a one sided relationship, how you feel is just as important to her.... don't let her issues and trauma force you into doing anything you're not comfortable with. That's not fair... you could end up scarred from this as well, so think of yourself as well as her.

Be firm with her, tell her if you're not ok with it. Sometimes the most damaged of people need a bit of firmness in their lives to get their head into gear.

I understand and respect she must be suffering, but i also believe what she is asking of you is completely selfish and unfair. She needs to find a more healthy way to cope, and not try to drag anyone else into it. Especially in that manner.
 
Really think you should stand your ground and not cave in. Her Boundries haev been severly messed up(this is what these assholes do to kids, then Adults). This is heartbreaking. I think by you laying down your own boundries firmly and with respect for why you feel its innapropriate it may even help her.
She's trying to emotionally Blackmail you the same way that it was done to her because she cant compute what happened with her Dad.
Someone Close to me was abused by a Family member at about age 8. They always mentioned how difficult it is because the experience of pleasure and trauma go hand in hand.
I think your right not to comply and by doing this you are showing her that you care and are attracted to her as a man in your own right, adn she as a woman in her's-not as her Father molsting/raping a child.
I'd imagine that she is objectifying herself as a Child and her Father to try and make some sense of this, this is what he did to her and she is trying to play it out so it will normalise it and it wont hurt as much.
Stick to your guns for both your sakes, even if it doesnt turn out pretty. Think you'l really be doing her a justice, that she never got from that Bastard as a child.
 
I don't think this sounds like a good idea at all. Who knows what is going on in her head. Instead of this, I think you should get her to a psychiatrist.
 
I have done the whole rape thing... But never as a father but if she wants to do it; than by all means give it a shot... You need to keep in mind this is something she wants and your doing it against her will.... a safe word also helps just in case it gets out of hand for her and you need to know when to stop
 
Tr1p said:
She's telling me how I must not care about her and that if I loved her I'd help her with this.
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This is one of those things that you just don't say and tends to have an actual reverse effect.

I think that you should only do what you're comfortable with. That's not something light that one would feel good about after enacting. Help her the very best you can, but know your own boundaries.
 
StaySedated said:
thats a bit fucked up, she really should try therapy.
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the OP said she has tried therapy.

Akward situation to say the least, if you go through with it, how will she look at you afterwards? will she ever look at you in the same way again? say no and stand you're ground, just because she went through it doesn't mean you need to.
 
You know a girl once asked me to do something like that to, a while back., that person was also raped when they were 13.
I believe I even made a thread about it here.

I believe girls that were rape like to reenact it, by them reenacting it , some how it makes them feel in control, or it will make them seem that it wasn't that traumatic.

You know go for it, no harm will come out of it, in fact who knows, it might actally help her.
Your not really raping her, in fact all your doing is carrying her to her bed, saying a few words, and the rest is just regular sex..

Its not like she asking you to beat her, or whip her.
 
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^If you feel you can handle it but really think about it deeply first.

Yeah, you really have to think how this will affect you. It might leave you emotionally scared. This kind of thing takes a really emotionally grounded person to say the least. If you don't feel completely comfortable with doing this, I would probably not do it in your position.

Tell her that you'll be there for her and will do whatever you can, within your own abilities but this is just too much for you and its not something you can cope with. It doesn't mean you don't love her. It's probably just the opposite because since you do love her it can mess you up. That's why therapy is always done with strangers that are not emotionally vested. They are more likely to be able to handle it, because they don't love you like a SO, mother, child, etc.

If I had to go through a situation where someone hurt my SO I would probably want to hurt the perpetration.
 
She has PTSD, try and get her an underground MDMA therapist or in to a MAPS study?
 
hey there. ill be honest and say that i havent read all the replies to the OP, but frankly i doubt this will work to her advantage. there are several issues with this scenario.

first of all, you obviously arent comfortable with it. this is either because you haven known each other too long to trust her instincts, or just because you feel naturally apprehensive about somethign of this sort. this is fine, and you should never in a couple do something you dont feel comfortable doing

secondly, just because she thinks it might be a good idea, doesnt make it so. it might deepen her trauma if not done correctly. this should be really well discussed, and so far im getting the feeling like this is a new issue in the relationship.

seeing a therapist and trying everything sounds a bit dramatic. change the therapist perhaps? how much does this affect her usual life?

there are also legal ramifications. if she was abused, shouldnt you have met the father through a barred window?

im just saying, that in my opinion this sounds like a deeper and more serious problem than can be solved via following ideas from tv shows.
 
Souns to me that she may be blaming herself & that she feels shes a "whore" & needs to be taken advantage of. If you go threw with this, it may open up a door where she feels she needs to be treated like this by all men. She definitely has issues caused by her sick pathetic father.
 
I think this is a bad idea for the sole fact that it sounds likely that if you go through with this and do as she asks, she may associate you with her father and what he as done, etc, simply by you playing that role.

I am not a psychiatrist or anything I just feel that if you do this she will forever have you tied up in all of this terrible psychological trauma she has undergone. and, if you care about her, and want to stay with her long term this in my opinion will severely impact that.

As someone else said: how will she ever look at you the same again?
 
I would dump the girl and gtfo. Seriously. Its cold and callous but no body in their right mind asks someone that. She is a fucked up poobah. Plenty of fish in the sea.
 
I know it's super deviant but I can understand the logic of reenacting it with her in control. Subs always hold the control in these situations and you must proceed slowly, talk through it before, set boundaries and a safety word. I understand it sounds appalling, especially if you've never done the Dom thing in a similar scenario.

This can blow up in your face or it could be a very therapeutic experience for her with you setting her free from the shame and feelings of powerlessness. It could conceivably be a super hot experience where you end up snuggling together at the end feeling closer than ever.

Then again, I'm a sick fuck, however I'm adept at toeing the line and am a natural dom without any anger, malice or true disrespect. Still a sick fuck though, but it has made for extreme yet super intimate experiences. The whole "daughter" thing is creepy though. I would modify the roles a bit.

Good luck!
:)
 
DooMMooD said:
I think this is a bad idea for the sole fact that it sounds likely that if you go through with this and do as she asks, she may associate you with her father and what he as done, etc, simply by you playing that role.

I am not a psychiatrist or anything I just feel that if you do this she will forever have you tied up in all of this terrible psychological trauma she has undergone. and, if you care about her, and want to stay with her long term this in my opinion will severely impact that.

As someone else said: how will she ever look at you the same again?
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^I think this is highly possible too.

People talk casually about role play here, they are only considering the sex itself (and they are not in a relationship with this girl). That is fine and dandy but the fact is you obviously want to keep this going with her if possible and she was abused by her Father-it has nothing to do with an Adult interpretation of Sex. It's to do with the psychological trauma of a child, that is what she is carrying inside her Mind.
 
hey that would be pretty cool! fuck the feathers on this one and use the chicken.

yeah well my ex and i used to do some freaky shit, handcuffs, whips, leather...
some shit you would see in some sex club in amsterdam, lol with hardcore d&b in the background. realll trippy but cool.
 
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