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Anxiety Girlfriend being detained by ICE

lolis my thesis

lolis my thesis

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 7, 2022
Messages
344
Well after several years post divorce, I finally found myself a girlfriend that I
still have a crush on her, I drove her to airport and she left her car at my house

All of a sudden she ghosted me, I thought, as she stopped replying to my texts
She has a work visa and works in Bend in the prestigious hotel housekeeping space, a crucial but maybe less than glamorous space in our economy,
She cleans houses on her days off. If her car is broke down, she runs 45 minutes from her house to the bus stop to get herself to work before calling me to give her a lift.
In short, she is an ambitious, hard working person. Her sons were born in San Diego, her Daughter is a senior in high school and is her roommate, as she lives in a small house containing herself, her daughter, her son, his girlfriend, and his best friend is the only one who has a room of his own in her house.
Well she has another son who is 25, and a house and an ex-who live in her house in Tijuana and she sometimes takes a few days to go and visit them.

This time she flew to San Diego. She has valid work visa but she is not US citizen.
She got detained by ICE. They are flying her to Mexico City is the only information that she has been able to convey to her family.
I have no idea how to help her. Im getting a real ID and a passport to help her if it would help her if I take myself to Mexico.

What would you do with this situation?
Im at a loss, in more ways than one.
 
lolis my thesis said:
Well after several years post divorce, I finally found myself a girlfriend that I
still have a crush on her, I drove her to airport and she left her car at my house

All of a sudden she ghosted me, I thought, as she stopped replying to my texts
She has a work visa and works in Bend in the prestigious hotel housekeeping space, a crucial but maybe less than glamorous space in our economy,
She cleans houses on her days off. If her car is broke down, she runs 45 minutes from her house to the bus stop to get herself to work before calling me to give her a lift.
In short, she is an ambitious, hard working person. Her sons were born in San Diego, her Daughter is a senior in high school and is her roommate, as she lives in a small house containing herself, her daughter, her son, his girlfriend, and his best friend is the only one who has a room of his own in her house.
Well she has another son who is 25, and a house and an ex-who live in her house in Tijuana and she sometimes takes a few days to go and visit them.

This time she flew to San Diego. She has valid work visa but she is not US citizen.
She got detained by ICE. They are flying her to Mexico City is the only information that she has been able to convey to her family.
I have no idea how to help her. Im getting a real ID and a passport to help her if it would help her if I take myself to Mexico.

What would you do with this situation?
Im at a loss, in more ways than one.
Click to expand...

Lawyer and probably some personal action is going to be needed. Get your wallet out and try to maintain as much contact as humanly possible - she is gunna need that both personally and for her protection (Them knowing someone cares about her)

Fuck ICE is right! Sickening that anyone is onboard with this bullshit, I hope they read this and silently feel shame...

I really don't know what to do........damn though. Fckin ice nazi's
 
lolis my thesis said:
Well after several years post divorce, I finally found myself a girlfriend that I
still have a crush on her, I drove her to airport and she left her car at my house

All of a sudden she ghosted me, I thought, as she stopped replying to my texts
She has a work visa and works in Bend in the prestigious hotel housekeeping space, a crucial but maybe less than glamorous space in our economy,
She cleans houses on her days off. If her car is broke down, she runs 45 minutes from her house to the bus stop to get herself to work before calling me to give her a lift.
In short, she is an ambitious, hard working person. Her sons were born in San Diego, her Daughter is a senior in high school and is her roommate, as she lives in a small house containing herself, her daughter, her son, his girlfriend, and his best friend is the only one who has a room of his own in her house.
Well she has another son who is 25, and a house and an ex-who live in her house in Tijuana and she sometimes takes a few days to go and visit them.

This time she flew to San Diego. She has valid work visa but she is not US citizen.
She got detained by ICE. They are flying her to Mexico City is the only information that she has been able to convey to her family.
I have no idea how to help her. Im getting a real ID and a passport to help her if it would help her if I take myself to Mexico.

What would you do with this situation?
Im at a loss, in more ways than one.
Click to expand...
Really sorry to hear this and I hope you're able to find some avenue to address this. Legal support is absolutely crucial - if you can't afford it, check to see if there is legal aide in your state as they can sometimes find pro bono support for people who can't afford an attorney.

Again, really sorry to hear - this has gotta be fucking awful. Thanks for sharing your story, we need these personal accounts to help the more close minded members of this forum and our society see that there's absolutely a human toll that is hurting innocent people.
 
This is some fascist shit imo. We need to start protecting neighborhoods black panther style imo

Ih the meantime get a good lawyer and keep in contact as much as possible. Trust me wen your locked up having vsits really helps. But a good lawyer can do wonders so look at that option. He could get a writ of habes corpus to get her appear before the court
 
I have an extended family member who was arrested and put on a bus to Mexico two days before their wedding. By the time we traced them through the system they had already been dropped off at a bus station in Mexico. So we had a wedding party without them because the room was already paid for. That was a long time ago. I got pretty drunk. They've managed to find their way back home since then, bought house, now full of kids. It doesn't sound like cooling her heels and coming back later anyway sounds like an option, or at least an option anyone would recommend. At some point OP will find out exactly why ICE flagged his girlfriend on re-entry, a good immigration lawyer will know if it's a fixable problem or something a little more complicated.
 
You may already understand more about situation than I, she boarded a plane, landed in San Diego shortly after, and probably makes the most sense that she was grabbed trying to Re enter the USA. however she is being held by ICE. If she was returning to the USA wouldn't they deny her entry rather than be whisked away to a detention center. Another reason I doubt she wasn't ever in Mexico(I don't know for sure now) she was at a detention center close to San Isidro; and that she told someone in her family that she would be taken to Mexico City.

Her son goes from TJ to San Diego daily for work. all her kids were born in SD, so all three of her kids are young adult naturalized citizen, with one living in TJ and the other two here in Bend. I'm not sure if she is undocumented, or on an expired work visa, or a current work visa. I know she is not a citizen of USA, don't know if she ever fully divorced from her husband in Mexico, or that if ICE would have flagged her upon re-entry to the usa, they should have just denied her entry.

I know she ain't being fed the things we like to eat together. That is one of the only "known" unknowns.

She could well be fully undocumented, never divorced from her husband. Her children were all born in San Diego, but having anchor babies for a defacto US citizenship, one of her kids is still 16, are seemingly a thing of the past. I know that she lets her ex and her eldest child live in she says is her house in TJ. Maybe she was lulled into a false sense of security having made many successful trips down to TJ and back under Biden.
I do know I miss her.
So yeah OP here will eventually find out more details as to if it is a more complicated situation than I am being informed. Im on a need to know basis. she does have my heart, as well.
 
paranoid android said:
This is some fascist shit imo. We need to start protecting neighborhoods black panther style imo

Ih the meantime get a good lawyer and keep in contact as much as possible. Trust me wen your locked up having vsits really helps. But a good lawyer can do wonders so look at that option. He could get a writ of habes corpus to get her appear before the court
Click to expand...
Word 👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽
 
lolis my thesis said:
Well after several years post divorce, I finally found myself a girlfriend that I
still have a crush on her, I drove her to airport and she left her car at my house

All of a sudden she ghosted me, I thought, as she stopped replying to my texts
She has a work visa and works in Bend in the prestigious hotel housekeeping space, a crucial but maybe less than glamorous space in our economy,
She cleans houses on her days off. If her car is broke down, she runs 45 minutes from her house to the bus stop to get herself to work before calling me to give her a lift.
In short, she is an ambitious, hard working person. Her sons were born in San Diego, her Daughter is a senior in high school and is her roommate, as she lives in a small house containing herself, her daughter, her son, his girlfriend, and his best friend is the only one who has a room of his own in her house.
Well she has another son who is 25, and a house and an ex-who live in her house in Tijuana and she sometimes takes a few days to go and visit them.

This time she flew to San Diego. She has valid work visa but she is not US citizen.
She got detained by ICE. They are flying her to Mexico City is the only information that she has been able to convey to her family.
I have no idea how to help her. Im getting a real ID and a passport to help her if it would help her if I take myself to Mexico.

What would you do with this situation?
Im at a loss, in more ways than one.
Click to expand...
I am SO sorry!! There are no words. I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now. I’ve often wondered if this situation could happen to my family. My husband is Mexican.
lolis my thesis said:
Well after several years post divorce, I finally found myself a girlfriend that I
still have a crush on her, I drove her to airport and she left her car at my house

All of a sudden she ghosted me, I thought, as she stopped replying to my texts
She has a work visa and works in Bend in the prestigious hotel housekeeping space, a crucial but maybe less than glamorous space in our economy,
She cleans houses on her days off. If her car is broke down, she runs 45 minutes from her house to the bus stop to get herself to work before calling me to give her a lift.
In short, she is an ambitious, hard working person. Her sons were born in San Diego, her Daughter is a senior in high school and is her roommate, as she lives in a small house containing herself, her daughter, her son, his girlfriend, and his best friend is the only one who has a room of his own in her house.
Well she has another son who is 25, and a house and an ex-who live in her house in Tijuana and she sometimes takes a few days to go and visit them.

This time she flew to San Diego. She has valid work visa but she is not US citizen.
She got detained by ICE. They are flying her to Mexico City is the only information that she has been able to convey to her family.
I have no idea how to help her. Im getting a real ID and a passport to help her if it would help her if I take myself to Mexico.

What would you do with this situation?
Im at a loss, in more ways than one.
Click to expand...
 
paranoid android said:
This is some fascist shit imo. We need to start protecting neighborhoods black panther style imo

Ih the meantime get a good lawyer and keep in contact as much as possible. Trust me wen your locked up having vsits really helps. But a good lawyer can do wonders so look at that option. He could get a writ of habes corpus to get her appear before the court
Click to expand...

You know the black panthers have been helping anti-ice in a major way. I agree; the difference between a neighborhood watch, a militia, and a gang is a thin line though be careful out there
 
kingsfont said:
At some point OP will find out exactly why ICE flagged his girlfriend on re-entry, a good immigration lawyer will know if it's a fixable problem or something a little more complicated.
Click to expand...

ehemm at some point ICE will get/make a legal excuse and story together IF a lawyer is pressuring them to do so. If not they aint lookin to explain anything to you -- they really not if they in the wrong.

You did mention a good immigration lawyer, I just thought it may need clarification.
 
SoCalShordie said:
Word 👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽
Click to expand...
im totally unhinged, but thank you for acknowledging my pain; a break up would be way easier to handle i would know to leave her be and move on. Pick up the pieces and go home. There is no schematic or flow chart that gives me an ounce of power over this situation without putting myself in the line of fire. how far does it go before we rise up as a group to topple this administration?

Is it important to gain
Greenland when most citizens couldn't tell you thing one about it or distinguish it from Iceland?
Who here from US can say they took a vacation to Greenland or explain why we want it. Why did we fuck with
Venezuela to gain access to their unusable oil. What is our endgame in Cuba? Starve them out then take them? Why are we screwing with Canada what with their kind and astute leadership Canada should make us their 11th province not US make them our 51st state!
we would be in more competent hands. Trump is the epitome of more more more at any cost more for me.
Throws more tantrums and needs more diaper changes than your toddler who would be a better world leader than or i should say American president.
Obama was not so bad, I would give him a third term since Trump has apparently used the constitution as toilet paper or otherwise destroyed, seperation of church and state, checks and balances, for what end. He wont even pay the lady he raped after she was "awarded" a civil judgement against

trump. Yet he confinues to enrich himself in dubious fashion without paying his tiny little settlements without kicking and screaming and throwing a tantrum of sorts. To appeal a judgement he could make disappear for a measly to him 100 million dollars or whatnot. How can he decide that 5 dollar gas is a price is is n

I digress, its not alright for ANY person or agency of the government cold as ICE who are probably racist.
Are they giving her ceviche and flor de Jamaica that she cooked up weekly to feed her house in the detention center? Or is the food likely to be rather unpleasant to her palate?

to take a mother trying to go visit her child is low. She went on many trips to Mexico under Biden I really don't think it was on her bingo card to be abducted by thugs. This, at 58 years years old, may be the most unsolvable problem ever to enter my orbit. And she also has friends and family equally up in arms, her 20 year old son and her 16 year old daughter are much more affected.
One a high school student whos mom took her to her first job at
Sonic or her 20 year old son who shares the home with his girlfriend. He is her roomie and drives Door
dash.
this is a person who's car breaks down and she runs 45 minutes to the bus in order to get to work; every one of her kids and herself do more to help operate this country far more than I ever have, to be truthful.

this is not the America I grew up in. We used to go into same area as 18 years old to drink and drive, party it up at Papa's and Beer, and bribe the federales and have fun in Rosarita, Ensenada, and even TJ. I also have a 25 year old man/child; I would flip my lid if for no valid reason some ICE agent apprehended me.

I mean, when can I expect to see my girl if I don't go to Mexico to find her, not that it would help, I understand she is being detained in the usa. Before they release her on their own time in Mexico City? Why? just to inflict cruelty and incite fear and further voter suppression. My own mother, who I also love, is tempted to vote because she believes that Trump will give her 5000 dollars to bribe her and all of his base, she hates him btw, to skew the election? What is their end game, and most importantly, how is the hotel here in town gonna clean the rooms that she is in charge of? How is the little old man going to clean his house that she goes to every week to make ends meet? How is her roomate, a 16 year old gal, a high school senior, going to be feeling that her mom is not around. Maybe she will give her less eyerolls as adolescents do. And also how can I get motivated to improve my spanish speaking skills with no Mexican girfriend. the sweetest thing in my life is her. How am I going to take my 95 dollars in my checking account and get my ass down to san diego to to....what?? I don't know where to go or what to do.
 
lolis my thesis said:
im totally unhinged, but thank you for acknowledging my pain; a break up would be way easier to handle i would know to leave her be and move on. Pick up the pieces and go home. There is no schematic or flow chart that gives me an ounce of power over this situation without putting myself in the line of fire. how far does it go before we rise up as a group to topple this administration?

Is it important to gain
Greenland when most citizens couldn't tell you thing one about it or distinguish it from Iceland?
Who here from US can say they took a vacation to Greenland or explain why we want it. Why did we fuck with
Venezuela to gain access to their unusable oil. What is our endgame in Cuba? Starve them out then take them? Why are we screwing with Canada what with their kind and astute leadership Canada should make us their 11th province not US make them our 51st state!
we would be in more competent hands. Trump is the epitome of more more more at any cost more for me.
Throws more tantrums and needs more diaper changes than your toddler who would be a better world leader than or i should say American president.
Obama was not so bad, I would give him a third term since Trump has apparently used the constitution as toilet paper or otherwise destroyed, seperation of church and state, checks and balances, for what end. He wont even pay the lady he raped after she was "awarded" a civil judgement against

trump. Yet he confinues to enrich himself in dubious fashion without paying his tiny little settlements without kicking and screaming and throwing a tantrum of sorts. To appeal a judgement he could make disappear for a measly to him 100 million dollars or whatnot. How can he decide that 5 dollar gas is a price is is n

I digress, its not alright for ANY person or agency of the government cold as ICE who are probably racist.
Are they giving her ceviche and flor de Jamaica that she cooked up weekly to feed her house in the detention center? Or is the food likely to be rather unpleasant to her palate?

to take a mother trying to go visit her child is low. She went on many trips to Mexico under Biden I really don't think it was on her bingo card to be abducted by thugs. This, at 58 years years old, may be the most unsolvable problem ever to enter my orbit. And she also has friends and family equally up in arms, her 20 year old son and her 16 year old daughter are much more affected.
One a high school student whos mom took her to her first job at
Sonic or her 20 year old son who shares the home with his girlfriend. He is her roomie and drives Door
dash.
this is a person who's car breaks down and she runs 45 minutes to the bus in order to get to work; every one of her kids and herself do more to help operate this country far more than I ever have, to be truthful.

this is not the America I grew up in. We used to go into same area as 18 years old to drink and drive, party it up at Papa's and Beer, and bribe the federales and have fun in Rosarita, Ensenada, and even TJ. I also have a 25 year old man/child; I would flip my lid if for no valid reason some ICE agent apprehended me.

I mean, when can I expect to see my girl if I don't go to Mexico to find her, not that it would help, I understand she is being detained in the usa. Before they release her on their own time in Mexico City? Why? just to inflict cruelty and incite fear and further voter suppression. My own mother, who I also love, is tempted to vote because she believes that Trump will give her 5000 dollars to bribe her and all of his base, she hates him btw, to skew the election? What is their end game, and most importantly, how is the hotel here in town gonna clean the rooms that she is in charge of? How is the little old man going to clean his house that she goes to every week to make ends meet? How is her roomate, a 16 year old gal, a high school senior, going to be feeling that her mom is not around. Maybe she will give her less eyerolls as adolescents do. And also how can I get motivated to improve my spanish speaking skills with no Mexican girfriend. the sweetest thing in my life is her. How am I going to take my 95 dollars in my checking account and get my ass down to san diego to to....what?? I don't know where to go or what to do.
Click to expand...
I’m sorry about your situation, I can’t believe this is my country right now. I hope things improve soon, it’s overwhelming.

Sometimes it’s better to concentrate on one thing at a time when we get overwhelmed. It helps me to clear my mind if I sit down and make a list of options and priorities. It may be all you can do in the immediate future is to try to keep contact with her and her family.

You could contact an advocacy group in your area. The National Immigrant Justice Center will provide advocacy and legal support according to Google. As others have mentioned an immigration attorney would be helpful if you can afford that option.

I hope this is helpful, I wish I had more advice.
 
Last edited:
If she withdrew her entry application and got deported, she can reapply anytime (which ICE would intentionally have not advised her of at the airport). If she was ordered deported (which ICE would have tried to get her to agree to) she can't reapply for five years. My take is Obama and Biden let a lot of people in who were not legitimate asylum seekers or refugees, and that royally pissed off a lot of people on the right, like Stephen Miller, who are now operating a reactionary witch hunt against immigrants. Congress can't pass some kind of immigration reform legislation that everyone can live with so we play political football instead.
 
Listen my oldest daughter is a social worker and her main goal is to look out for the children whose parents get deported.

I’ll just say that America isn’t a safe place for these children. Makes me ashamed to be an American. The toll that this job is having on my child is overwhelming. She can never feel like she’s doing enough to make sure these children are took care of and not traumatized.
 
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