^ Varies depending on how randy I've been. I seem to be unusually randy these last few months for some reason which is why I've been getting grief so regularly. Takes about a week to get bad enough to be beyond easy repair. You'd think I'd manage to squeeze at least one in during the week but I guess I haven't been. Must try harder :D
Tis an odd one but Shambles isn't prone to flights of fancy around such things
Which kinda suggests you know a surprising amount about my track record on not telling porkies about me plums. I
knew somebody was filming me when I was on peev all the time
Much as I'd love to defend my status as a man of gonad-related honour, that would appear to involve spending several days being observed by the disbelievers whilst the pressure builds so they could make sure I didn't sneak in a sly jostle at any stage, then to demonstrate the lack of feasibility of cracking one off whilst fit to burst for them. Presumably a number of times to show consistency of problem. And then I'd just be under suspicion of either being unable to perform on cue in front of witnesses but could surely manage it away from the white-hot glare of publicity, or that I was throwing the test by fantasising about Anne Widdicombe during the crucial moments thus making it impossible to do the deed under any circumstances. Some people are just natural born
As I've given a pretty detailed blow by blow (and lack of much-needed blow at such times of crisis) account of the whole nail-biting, will they, won't they, romantic comedy thus far I may as well furnish y'all with the aftermath...
Aftermath being the state of me scrote after such dramatic change in stretching and pressure overnight. Now plums are back to normal size (actually dunno whether plums really do expand or whether is just general swelling) it takes the ballsack a day or so to adjust. I'm sure that must be an age thing - skin (even sackskin) ain't as elastic as it used to be. Whatever the case, it means I have a comedy wattle until it returns to more standard size. It almost looks like I have grown a third nut between the other fellas - a third nut which hangs a fair bit below the permanent residents. If I hold me todger up it really does look like a wattle down the middle of me nutsack. As if bollocks weren't ugly ducklings enough already... Previous experience in such matters reassures me it does settle down soon enough though. I guess this is a glimpse into the old man knackers I have to look forward too :D
