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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Gibberings CXXXX: Paranoia Abound

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I'm not having this. You need a wank so much that you can't have a wank? C'mon to fuck Shambles.

Tis an odd one but Shambles isn't prone to flights of fancy around such things, if push comes to shove I can knock one out under almost any circumstances, I have been through 2 cycles of IVF though, you lose all dignity around such things after 'producing' on demand so many times

rarely get discomfort in my balls, occasionally after sex there is a bit of an aching but no more than that, which is good coz I had enough of people poking about with my bits and scoring my cum during the process mentioned above
 
Nice night of booze and proper good meph. i was flapping around and pulling faces all over the place. belter of a headache this morning but some paracetamol ibruprofen and oxy will ease that
 
Ha, don't get me wrong, I wasn't accusing Shambles of lying. I don't think he's going to come on here and pretend to have sore balls lol. I just think it's a bit mad, I've certainly never heard of that happening to anyone else.

How long do you have to go without a wank for this to happen Shamballs? If I was you I'd be ripping the heid aff it 3 times a day just to be sure.
 
^ Varies depending on how randy I've been. I seem to be unusually randy these last few months for some reason which is why I've been getting grief so regularly. Takes about a week to get bad enough to be beyond easy repair. You'd think I'd manage to squeeze at least one in during the week but I guess I haven't been. Must try harder :D

Tis an odd one but Shambles isn't prone to flights of fancy around such things

Which kinda suggests you know a surprising amount about my track record on not telling porkies about me plums. I knew somebody was filming me when I was on peev all the time :!

Much as I'd love to defend my status as a man of gonad-related honour, that would appear to involve spending several days being observed by the disbelievers whilst the pressure builds so they could make sure I didn't sneak in a sly jostle at any stage, then to demonstrate the lack of feasibility of cracking one off whilst fit to burst for them. Presumably a number of times to show consistency of problem. And then I'd just be under suspicion of either being unable to perform on cue in front of witnesses but could surely manage it away from the white-hot glare of publicity, or that I was throwing the test by fantasising about Anne Widdicombe during the crucial moments thus making it impossible to do the deed under any circumstances. Some people are just natural born :sus:

As I've given a pretty detailed blow by blow (and lack of much-needed blow at such times of crisis) account of the whole nail-biting, will they, won't they, romantic comedy thus far I may as well furnish y'all with the aftermath...

Aftermath being the state of me scrote after such dramatic change in stretching and pressure overnight. Now plums are back to normal size (actually dunno whether plums really do expand or whether is just general swelling) it takes the ballsack a day or so to adjust. I'm sure that must be an age thing - skin (even sackskin) ain't as elastic as it used to be. Whatever the case, it means I have a comedy wattle until it returns to more standard size. It almost looks like I have grown a third nut between the other fellas - a third nut which hangs a fair bit below the permanent residents. If I hold me todger up it really does look like a wattle down the middle of me nutsack. As if bollocks weren't ugly ducklings enough already... Previous experience in such matters reassures me it does settle down soon enough though. I guess this is a glimpse into the old man knackers I have to look forward too :D
 
And here's me thinking we haven't had much new thread title material!
 
Blue balls was invented by teenage boys to guilt women into sex. It is a pillar of persuasion next to having a latex allergy.

Your creditability here is effectively non existent, go crawl back into your dustbin

Which kinda suggests you know a surprising amount about my track record on not telling porkies about me plums. I knew somebody was filming me when I was on peev all the time :!

Ahh I believe I can have a decent shot at a Shamble-ated reality aberration and apparent reality we can come to a consensus on.

I would venture making stuff up about your testicals just isn't your style (forgive the presumption) and I don't see you being hung up about such things so It's unlikely to feature in paranoid ramblings.

Odd low frequency noises causing mass gatronal disturbance on the other hand :sus:
 
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Your father hasn't picked it up today so I'll have to stay here until he empties it.

Ohh how very middle class using the profession of the dustman as if it should cause offence, my father was never one but I worked as one for a while and I consider it a noble profession.

The words area quote of lyrics hence the italics ...but given you apparent ignorance of anything beyond radio 2s easy listening hour I guess I should have know you would miss the point and retort with further ramblings of an ignoramus :D
 
Blue balls was invented by teenage boys to guilt women into sex. It is a pillar of persuasion next to having a latex allergy.

The fact that I am a bachelor boy, get it all the bastard time, and have never felt the need to go trawling for one night stands and/or hookers suggests to me that it's not something I've invented or use as an excuse for anything other than the occasional whinge. Sex is no use to me anyway at such times - far too much jiggling involved.

As I mentioned, blowies are the only thing I know of that works which could suggest I may be using it as an excuse to boost me BJ quota... although how that works when single I'm not sure. In the past, when in relationships, I have indeed been given assistance in that way if it's gotten that bad sometimes. It rarely does though cos I tend to be getting laid regularly when in a relationship. However, it does happen sometimes. Massive, extended, stim/opi/geeb marathon sessions have occasionally been a cause of it. Not often but does happen. The object of my extended affections tends to notice it as much as I do cos I just can't keep it up any longer if it gets too painful.

Have almost never asked for special attention at such times (well, I did a coupla times in me yoofdom but made me feel so uncomfortable (precisely because I thought the ladyfriend tasked with doing the deed must surely think I'm putting it on just to get a bonus blowie) that it only happened two or three times at most before I decided I'd rather just live with it unless they decide to help out. Depending on ladyfriend I've had both outcomes plenty times. Is not such a problem for the half of the population who can cum a gazillion times in a night and some women can be just as callous in the "Well I've had a great time and fancy a snooze now" stakes as some men can. For those epic shagathon sessions it's pretty obvious there is a genuine problem cos it's not like I'm gonna choose to stop shagging then bitch 'bout needing to drain me spuds really. Said shagathon can easily get back on track once the immediate issue has been addressed. If not addressed, for whatever reason, then I just have to sleep it off and am fine to return to the frontline the next morning. Despite occasional crippling nad pain I'm nothing if not a bit of a goer when roused =D
 
whut did I miss? :sus:

Allein, youre STILL up and going strong. I guess you didn't go for xanax then?

I only plugged about 150mg at 17:30 yesterday that and pone cheeky line about 3am, plugged a bit more now but tis smooth and potent.

I did 1mg of Xanax about 6am just to be greedy, but I'm chipper this morning, cleaned the kitchen fed my youngest and scrubbed the carpet in the spare room as I came home yesterday to discover my dig had been a bit poorly, all cleaned up now and he seems fine this morning.

I have no chance of sleep if I do any quantity of speed after about 2pm usually do a couple of nights just cuz I can't resist but I'll likely have a few hours lie down which I find makes the world of difference and relaxes muscles as well. Most stims would not allow me to lie quietly and relax where as speed does and there is no desperate despite to redoes.

I may see if benzos knock me out later but I won't be taking any more than 1mg at once, I'm not going down that road again and occasional Xanax ( once every few months a get a few, 20 or so) use is a real treat and I enjoy them as I have no tolerance, it would be all to easy to fall back into daily use as they do remove much of the persistent tension and anxiety I tend to suffer with.


Edit - an update, we have established than OTW is a sorry middle class wanna be with musical taste as narrow as my nan:D
 
haha yeah not even a Alt just a double . I've got summat like 64 . If someone sends me a request i feel a cunt bouying em off especially if it's a noob .

The rejection could send em over the edge & stop them posting on BL & we would all miss out on loads of quality HR advice .;)
 
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