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Gibberings CXV: "I like a woman who talks like Paul Gascoigne"

Why did you crazy fools not do all your shopping via the internet weeks ago?

A mixture of fecklessness, expensive drug habits and other outgoings. Though you have a point - I make the same mistake every year.

I just never know what to get people. I have one sister whom I only see a few times a year (since she left her nice boyfriend for a possessive fatty) and one whom I lost contact with until a couple of years ago, and that's it family-wise. I barely know thm really, and my lifestyle means I feel uncomfortable around the latter sister, who's very uptight and clean-living.

As for my friends, they're easier to cater for, but I asked my ex / best mate what she wants because she really deserves something special for having helped keep me alive over the past year or so.

So fuck it - she'll get posh booze or something. And probably complain and accuse me of having bought it for myself. As is her uniquely charming way. :)
 
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Germany is to decide whether to ban bestiality, which has been considered lawful in the country since being legalized in 1969.The final vote on the matter is set to take place in the Bundestag, the lower house of parliament, on Friday.

spoilsports.
 
I really feel for MM trudging around out there today, even if I think he's quoted a bit of Sam's post which was, I think, meant for me :D.
I've only made a couple of shortish trips outside and it's disgusting.

I'm good thanks, hope you are too (either of you). I had the rather unusual experience of getting my eyes anaesthetised earlier so the pressures could be checked... extremely weird sensation VERY MUCH like the heavy-eyed buzzy feeling you get off good hash. So much so that I got slightly paranoid and felt like I had to 'act normal'.
 
Hope everyone having a good day. Only 10 shoplifting days left until Xmas, remember we're in a recession.
 
I knew it was ,meant for you jc.

weather got shitter, just got in, 1 min to spare to go and pick son up

coffeee machine on again, port ready, go and get boy, sit in front of fire for a bit with coffee and port... :)
 
I really feel for MM trudging around out there today, even if I think he's quoted a bit of Sam's post which was, I think, meant for me :D.

It was indeed meant for you, though I didn't bother pointing that out as I'm sure MM has enough on his plate without a tinpot computer tyrant chastising him. :D

Besides, I'm concerned about Herr Monkey's welfare too, despite the fact that I haven't philosophised with him over a over a pint in a hipster bar / helped him skin up in freezing conditions yards away from the fuzz, as I have with your good self.

jancrow said:
I'm good thanks, hope you are too (either of you). I had the rather unusual experience of getting my eyes anaesthetised earlier so the pressures could be checked... extremely weird sensation VERY MUCH like the heavy-eyed buzzy feeling you get off good hash. So much so that I got slightly paranoid and felt like I had to 'act normal'.

You had your eyes anaesthetised? 8o

Sorry, that's just brought Clockwork Orange imagery into my head - y'know, that scene. Sounds horrific, though I'm probably being a soft git.

Maxlfie - that made me smile. Then cry a bit, seeing as I just shelled out for some (mercifully discounted, but still pricey) VSOP champagne cognac. Which isn't even for me.
 
Good day today, everyone's in a pretty good mood and the house has been cleaned in preparation for the party tonight. Me and the rabbit are chilling out watching The Langoliers, not sure how I feel about it haha, shite CG, shite acting, but it's strangely gripping.

Just waiting for the party to kick off, suspect the two people I invited aren't gonna be able to make it and I'm sorta ok with that because I want the option to get drunk really early and then go to bed at a sensible time if I so desire :D
 
Hi Sam, I was just joking about the xmas shoplifting days cos I just wouldn't be able to do it myself but I'm sure that there are plenty of parents who if they haven't got the cash may feel tempted to shoplift as they don't want there kids to go without.
Must be crap if you are a parent that isn't working and having all the kids expectations of receiving lots of cool presents to try and meet.
 
Hi Sam, I was just joking about the xmas shoplifting days cos I just wouldn't be able to do it myself but I'm sure that there are plenty of parents who if they haven't got the cash may feel tempted to shoplift as they don't want there kids to go without.
Must be crap if you are a parent that isn't working and having all the kids expectations of receiving lots of cool presents to try and meet.

I regularly watch shop lifters walk out the door (often running), all part of the job :)
 
Hi Sam, I was just joking about the xmas shoplifting days cos I just wouldn't be able to do it myself but I'm sure that there are plenty of parents who if they haven't got the cash may feel tempted to shoplift as they don't want there kids to go without.
Must be crap if you are a parent that isn't working and having all the kids expectations of receiving lots of cool presents to try and meet.

Indeed. Makes me glad I don't have kids, or much in the way of family - some people out there are really gonna fucking struggle this year especially.

My shoplifting career was shortlived - my mates had an operation going, but I was so conspicuous that after a while they just made me the decoy - act suspicious and make lots of eye contact with security while they did the deed.

I also doubled as the fence, because my baby face and big eyes worked well when cashing in the suspiciously-pristine CD box sets (which were very expensive in the nineties) that fetched us our booze / drug money.

Some people are fucking excellent at it though, and good luck to them.

Horlicks is wicked. Anything with malt in it is amaaaazing.

*Raises bottle of Johnnie Walker (only Red Label, mind) in agreement*
 
A lot of people are really good at it, well if its your job your going to have to be arent you. Some just dont give a fuck, had a load of romanians recently that just grab whatever they can and all just jet out the front door with whatever that want knowing the right time when theres no security about. Think we got hit about 7 times in a month so they assigned us 2 PSCO's to walk around the shop at peak times, ha talk about being cheap get some security!

Others just take the biscuit, come in go to knife section, steal knife, go to expensive watches, perfumes etc slice open boxes, walk out whos going to challenge him :)

Ive had someone do the change blag on me once before though, just laughed as he walked out though realising id juts given him £50 for nothing
 
Mmm... Horlicks <3

Mornin', all :)

Man I woke up with a beast of a hangover. That honey JD is just far too easy to drink far too much of. Tasty though. Nice warming bowl of broth and a selection of painkillers and I'm just abour functioning at last. Looks like I might be getting a lil wonk this evening too. Goody good. Considerably less likely to cause mass splurges of postwhoring in unfamiliar places too.
 
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