Gibberings CXLIV: The Nutmeg Challenge

[NightsEpiphany]

Apparently, light boxes do work if you genuinely suffer from SAD.

 

[mydrugbuddy]

aye, some recent research has suggested they are as effective as anti depressants for depressive disorders in general and not just SAD.

 

[justinsayno]

^ lots of 6400k energy saving bulbs on amazon...just replace your lounge light with one of those ?

And yes avoiding UV would be a good idea...unless you wanna see all your cum stains and get some kind of shame fix

 

[mydrugbuddy]

yeah i really dont wanna be sunbed frazzled orange either.

 

[Sammy G]

I've been on a bit of a downer the last couple of days as-well. So much is right in my world but I still swing. Insane int it? I was the sun last week ffs! THE SUN! Hope my low isnt relative to the high *gulp*

Yeah, well we both know it isn't necessarily about what's right or wrong in your life - it wouldn't be such a bastard condition to deal with if that were the case.

I was on a bit of an upswing actually - should've seen the warning signs: sweating profusely for no reason, waking extremely early, increased booze consumption, libido through the roof, heightened sense of taste and smell and so on and so forth. Only with a dysphoric edge to complicate matters. A lot of people think hypomania = happy, as you probably know.

My weed dealer's phone has been off for a week too, which hasn't helped. Cannabis helps me take a step back and slow down a little. The bastard better shape up soon, I tell you.

Glad you're ok Sam, i had no idea you were facing such problems. Manchester is a tough city. It kicks a man when he's down IME, so you were lucky that no scumbag turned your pockets out or something. It would kill the forum stone dead with grief if you were to be about the seventh EADD death this year.

I'm sure some folk would beg to differ on that last point. :D But thanks. Yeah, I'm lucky. I'm really pushing my luck pretty often these days. Has to stop.

I was gonna ask you about make up tips, Im looking rough as fuck cutting back on the bupe, got huge black shaddows under my eyes that just scream smackhead, though ive never even seen the fuckin stuff. My Dad is coming to visit tomorrow, I'll just tell him Im having sleeping problems.

Make up tips? Maybe ten years ago!

Good luck with your dad. Sorry to hear you're feeling the reduction in your bupe dosage. What are you down to now?

Well done on getting outside by the way. It was a beautiful weekend, wasn't it?

 

[mydrugbuddy]

yes, it was for some.

I'm down to 1.5 mg now. Not feeling it too bad at all tbh, i look worse than i feel. Very lucky that i've been lowering my benzo tolerance, so that 'in my hour of need' they are really helping enormously. Once I'm totally off the bupe, I'll only have the benzo problem to deal with. I know that i can get that down to non mad doses, i just wonder what it'll be like doing that without opiates in my system. Time will tell.

 

[Sammy G]

Well done on lowering your benzo tolerance. That's a significant step.

Can't say that kicking bupe will be a walk in the park but you're going about it the right way. And I wouldn't worry too much about the benzo problem just now - you can only deal with one problem at a time. Otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy.

 

[mydrugbuddy]

once my Dad has come and gone I'll cut to 1mg. Its you that gave me the wake up call/shook some sense into me. I'd just have been dithering and faffing about otherwise.

 

[Sammy G]

Well, you might not want to take the advice of a guy who lies down in the middle of Oxford Road and bangs his head against walls till he passes out, y'know?

In all seriousness though, good plan. I'm glad you took my advice and sorry again for being so blunt about it.

 

[knock]

Yawn yawn yawn, back under your rock, once a troll...

Don't see it myself, pointing out some unpleasant truths about a man with practically god-like status among some people may well be controversial but it doesn't make it wrong and it doesn't mean Bodda's trolling.

 

[NightsEpiphany]

Just took the angel entities out for a walk because i was concerned theyve been stuck in for too
long.

The new suns not coping. She cant let those clouds overpower her like that!

Re: Bi polar.. I dont accept the diagnosis at all btw.

 

[Sammy G]

Re: Bi polar.. I dont accept the diagnosis at all btw.

No? Well I've come to terms with mine after years of drama, setbacks and avoiding help whenever it was within reach.

It took me a long, long time to get in a frame of mind where I could accept that there was something wrong with me and not everybody else (and even longer to get out of the self-serving self-diagnosis trap), but suddenly my life makes sense. And I know it's not going to magically come good, but at least I now know which (metaphorical) demons I'm fighting.

Maybe the diagnosis doesn't fit you, but it does me. Like a glove. And I'm the second generation to receive it; hopefully I'll take it more seriously than others did before me.

 

[NightsEpiphany]

I think i handled the recent high alright as it happens. I saw even more grandiose stuff but wont own it. I just observed it for the most part remaining as empty as possible.

I know I did say a few outlandish things so sorry if i upset anyone btw.

Sam the only thing that gave me relief for a few months was pregabalin and then it turned me in Jabba the Hut and stopped working. The cure, unfortunately, in many cases seems worse than the disease for most people diagnosed.

It can be hellish. Then again I remember Steven Fry saying he would pass on getting rid of bi polar if it meant getting rid of the highs as well. I feel the same way to be honest. Probably wont be saying that if I do hit rock bottom though FFS.

Be careful gorgeous!

 

[mydrugbuddy]

Well, you might not want to take the advice of a guy who lies down in the middle of Oxford Road and bangs his head against walls till he passes out, y'know?

In all seriousness though, good plan. I'm glad you took my advice and sorry again for being so blunt about it.

No problem. tbh it did get my back up a bit at the time, but i think that was the only way to get through my fog.

Whatever label a psychiatrist has given you, you are still you. I dont know if it would help me getting labelled, but the correct medication might.

Once I'm off the Bupe, hopefully my condition will be slightly less complicated, and I might take up the offer of a psychiatric referall. If or when i get hit by PAWS, once Im over that, and if things still arent right.....

 

[Sammy G]

I think i handled the recent high alright as it happens. I saw even more grandiose stuff but wont own it. I just observed it for the most part remaining as empty as possible.

I know I did say a few outlandish things so sorry if i upset anyone btw.

Sam the only thing that gave me relief for a few months was pregabalin and then it turned me in Jabba the Hut and stopped working. The cure, unfortunately, in many cases seems worse than the disease for most people diagnosed.

It can be hellish. Then again I remember Steven Fry saying he would pass on getting rid of bi polar if it meant getting rid of the highs as well. I feel the same way to be honest. Probably wont be saying that if I do hit rock bottom though FFS.

Be careful gorgeous!

Thanks.

And yeah, the highs are pretty compelling when you're on form and the can be the life and soul of the party, and everything seems so magical and heavenly. Feeling like you're on a special mission is quite something, as I'm sure you're aware.

But yeah, when you're at rock bottom, or when the high mood turns to irritability, paranoia and the rest... well. Dying seems like the only thing you could possibly want to do.

I wouldn't worry too much about having said some bizarre things. This place is pretty forgiving in most instances, and people already know you have a few things on your plate. I've been guilty of saying some dreadful stuff myself, not that I'm asking for forgiveness or sympathy, but I know you've been on the receiving end of some of my more aggressive moods.

Ah well. At least we're not locked up yet.

 

[NightsEpiphany]

Clean white sheets, 3 meals a day, rampant people milling about, screw violence, drugs, courses.. hmm you really are unwell arent you?

You didnt need to apologise but i accept Sam lol :D




1:0

 

[Albion]

NightsEpiphany and ColtDan's avatars are officially now too similar

 

[monstanoodle]

@ Sammy G - I'm very very glad that your GP is working as fast as he can so that you can become stable as soon as you can.
As you definitely know (we've spoken of it to each other and to others and others talking to others etc. etc.) the Lithium may not be the best med but - again: as we all know - It's going to be a process of trial and error.
But please just don't give up if a few different meds don't work / don't help / make things worse and ALWAYS be in contact with people who can help you through these harsh times mate

 

[NightsEpiphany]

Oh has Dan got a Black hole as well? Ok i'll have a ponder what else i fancy.

 

[mydrugbuddy]

. This place is pretty forgiving in most instances, .

QFT, better to exorcise some demons online that IRL. Making a cunt of myself for a couple of months seems to have been largely forgiven, and i have been welcomed back for being a bit better. If i'd done all that IRL it would have caused irreperable damage to my relationships.