pinkpapaver
Bluelighter
ah deary me. what have i to do the day? i have a load of ironong. my son is off to bulgaria to do some slave labour, but it's a free trip.
suicidal tendencies eh? there are those who seem to get suicidal over everything that happens. I've felt sort of suicidal occasionally but I've learned that there's no point in feeling suicidal/very very depressed. Honest to god. i went thru my worst time ever aroiund the time I first started using bl. Off on a long term sick thing, waking up in the morning wondering how I am going to get to the end of the day and I did get to the end of those days. yesterday was one of those days wheere I was full off vexedness with myself and the world. I copped myself on and got out of the house and had a great old day, and today is here and I'm feeling better.*
I've had loads of people rob from me in my past. and yep, I did tend to feel more angry with myself than them for the exact reason of giving too many chances and being walked over. It's not something to commend yourself for in my opinion, giving people chances and doing good stuff time and time again. it's just plain silly. what is it "fool me once ,shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" there's no point gloating over being a good egg to folks and then getting all the head fucky mind torture stuff when people turn out to be cunts..
sometimes a public humiliation is good enough for some folk.
listening/reading about peoples constant suicidal/depressed states is about as much fun as reading about otw happy life of everything. Chinny, if you're reading this you've got yerself into a bad habit there of feeling suicidal at really daft things (obviously i don't know everything) it's a bit boy who cried wolf really.. "oh, it made me feel suicidal " "even if you changed the words it might help you a bit "oh, it made me feel like ending my life" "I wanted to kill myself there and then"
that is what suicide is yes? think you might just love the thought of being suicidal.
I want to stop breathing blah blah blah. I want my life to ebb away.
I used to cut myself back in the day. (still prone to the odd little scratch) one time I started stabbing myself in the leg in front of folks who were walking over me. dya think they gave a fuck? did they fuck. no, it just made them think i was crayzee.
I don't see the point in making other peoples lives a misery vengefulness only eats away at oneself and makes you a miserable person. bitterness breeds bitterness. been there done that, far better to live a life of acceptance of the fact that you are the person who controls you, you cannot control others nor can you second guess the,...
phew, i could say muc h much more on the subject but i have delayed this ironing long enough
* seriously, that realisation that you do get up the next day and feel a bit better is some realisation. it may not work for everyone but it does work for me. it's brilliant. I have fuck all at the moment. yep, there's folks whove robbed from me borrowed from me and by god it'sd be so nice to get all back right now but I won't be losing sleep over it. i have trust that i will be looked after by the earth
it's just nice to be nice. yep, we have to take responsibility for our own cunty behaviour - don't be surprised when things bte you on the bum, but likewise perspective is important and there's times we have to deal with others cunty behaiour. certainly not worht slicing the old veins open over or getting the noose out or swallowing a load of dosgy tablets or whatever other methods there are for taking your own life.
toodle pip folks, the iron is calling.
suicidal tendencies eh? there are those who seem to get suicidal over everything that happens. I've felt sort of suicidal occasionally but I've learned that there's no point in feeling suicidal/very very depressed. Honest to god. i went thru my worst time ever aroiund the time I first started using bl. Off on a long term sick thing, waking up in the morning wondering how I am going to get to the end of the day and I did get to the end of those days. yesterday was one of those days wheere I was full off vexedness with myself and the world. I copped myself on and got out of the house and had a great old day, and today is here and I'm feeling better.*
I've had loads of people rob from me in my past. and yep, I did tend to feel more angry with myself than them for the exact reason of giving too many chances and being walked over. It's not something to commend yourself for in my opinion, giving people chances and doing good stuff time and time again. it's just plain silly. what is it "fool me once ,shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" there's no point gloating over being a good egg to folks and then getting all the head fucky mind torture stuff when people turn out to be cunts..
sometimes a public humiliation is good enough for some folk.
listening/reading about peoples constant suicidal/depressed states is about as much fun as reading about otw happy life of everything. Chinny, if you're reading this you've got yerself into a bad habit there of feeling suicidal at really daft things (obviously i don't know everything) it's a bit boy who cried wolf really.. "oh, it made me feel suicidal " "even if you changed the words it might help you a bit "oh, it made me feel like ending my life" "I wanted to kill myself there and then"
that is what suicide is yes? think you might just love the thought of being suicidal.
I want to stop breathing blah blah blah. I want my life to ebb away.
I used to cut myself back in the day. (still prone to the odd little scratch) one time I started stabbing myself in the leg in front of folks who were walking over me. dya think they gave a fuck? did they fuck. no, it just made them think i was crayzee.
I don't see the point in making other peoples lives a misery vengefulness only eats away at oneself and makes you a miserable person. bitterness breeds bitterness. been there done that, far better to live a life of acceptance of the fact that you are the person who controls you, you cannot control others nor can you second guess the,...
phew, i could say muc h much more on the subject but i have delayed this ironing long enough
* seriously, that realisation that you do get up the next day and feel a bit better is some realisation. it may not work for everyone but it does work for me. it's brilliant. I have fuck all at the moment. yep, there's folks whove robbed from me borrowed from me and by god it'sd be so nice to get all back right now but I won't be losing sleep over it. i have trust that i will be looked after by the earth
it's just nice to be nice. yep, we have to take responsibility for our own cunty behaviour - don't be surprised when things bte you on the bum, but likewise perspective is important and there's times we have to deal with others cunty behaiour. certainly not worht slicing the old veins open over or getting the noose out or swallowing a load of dosgy tablets or whatever other methods there are for taking your own life.toodle pip folks, the iron is calling.
Last edited:
