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Gibberings CV - The Nazis: A Warning From History

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Albion said:
Bleh. Failed my test stopping at a green light. Was just down to nerves, the rest went fine. Bleh.
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I passed mine first time and I am too scared to drive. Haven't touched a steering wheel since I passed. I am more of a menace on the roads than 100 year olds. I shouldn't have ever been allowed such a responsibility.
 
No no no, the best drivers pass on the fourth attempt, although the third attempt doesn't count because the instructor fails to turn up. And they pass the fourth time despite performing an emergency stop when asked to bring the car to a halt at the end of the test by claiming to have misheard the examiner's instruction.
 
It happened at a major roundabout. Really stupid mistake, something I've never done before and probably won't ever do again but never mind. Just gonna book another test today and nail it second time round. I vote for the view that all the best drivers pass second time :D (probably definitely not fourth time!)
 
Well beyond a certain point passing your test is just about the luck of getting through half an hour without fucking up. Everyone keeps telling me that you only begin actually learning to drive when you're out on the road on your own. I can tell you with absolute certainty, and we've never even met, that you are a better driver than I am.
 
jancrow said:
No no no, the best drivers pass on the fourth attempt, although the third attempt doesn't count because the instructor fails to turn up. And they pass the fourth time despite performing an emergency stop when asked to bring the car to a halt at the end of the test by claiming to have misheard the examiner's instruction.
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Passed mine after failing 3 times ha, it was mostly down to nervousenss though as id do little test runs with my instructor and pass fine, then as soon as I got in the car with this nazi test guy writing down everthing id get all parrad, ended up having a few blues to calm me down and passed 4th time %) Or maybe it was the fact it was the 4th time and this time it was a nice old lady who probally felt sorry for me
 
mattnotrik said:
Passed mine after failing 3 times ha, it was mostly down to nervousenss though as id do little test runs with my instructor and pass fine, then as soon as I got in the car with this nazi test guy writing down everthing id get all parrad, ended up having a few blues to calm me down and passed 4th time %) Or maybe it was the fact it was the 4th time and this time it was a nice old lady who probally felt sorry for me
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On my test run the day before my test I almost killed the instructor and me by pulling out in front of an oncoming car because it was the same colour as the sky :sus: He got so fucked off he made me pull over immediately and ripped the keys out of the ignition. He was visibly shaken lol. That still wasn't as bad as the lesson I took stoned out of my box. I wasn't going to get high, then I thought that it would be my opportunity to test out the differences in my driving ability while I have the protection of the instructor and his pedals. He kept on saying "I don't get it, you understood all of this yesterday. What's wrong with you?" :|
 
As I smoke every day I now never get in a car without some degree of cannabis intoxication. Like MSB though, I decided to have a go at a lesson stoned and can confirm its an absolutely disasterous thing to try.
 
Mr Smokes Blunts. said:
I passed mine first time and I am too scared to drive. Haven't touched a steering wheel since I passed. I am more of a menace on the roads than 100 year olds. I shouldn't have ever been allowed such a responsibility.
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^^ Scammer! ... Albeit a fairly clever one. Never being the designated driver despite having a license. I bet yer wifey always has to be the sober one, leaving you to be able to get mashed whenever you go anywhere.

[BITTER AS FUCK] No matter what relationship I've been in, I'm the only one who's been able to drive. I got Nerdboy put on my new car insurance as an additional driver last night. He's got a provisional which he's had for about 12 FUCKING YEARS! .. What makes it even worse is that he's practically tea-total too so wouldn't actually mind being des anyway. [/BITTER AS FUCK]
[edit] He's getting his license in the next year come hell or high water[/edit]

Re test passing - all the best ones pass first time ... I thought this was common knowledge? You were just an anomaly ;p (20 lessons here, and passed first time in 1990).

If I had to take my test now though, I'd most likely definitely fail on theory, and practice too most likely. The amount of maneuvers has changed since I took mine (think it's 4 rather than 3 now), and the amount of lessons seems to have increased hugely since way back when I did mine. Instructors seem to be milking it loads now and I doubt even the best of learners take less than 50 lessons to get their license now.
 
Yeah, I did that by accident too, it was absolutely horrendous especially as I had a complete dick of an instructor at the time. I was hanging out with some friends, got heartily stoned and arrived back home thinking about lunch just as my instructor turned up- I'd completely forgotten it was meant to happen that day. At the end of the lesson he pretty much accused me of being racist, which didn't do much for the atmosphere in the vehicle over the coming weeks.
 
I completely scammed it. I had 14 lessons. Told the examiner (on my second test) I HAD to pass because it would lift me out of 2 years unemployment (a lie). I'm 100% certain he took pity on me. Pretty sure I was borderline at best - but he passed me.
 
Marmalade said:
^^ Scammer! ... Albeit a fairly clever one. Never being the designated driver despite having a license. I bet yer wifey always has to be the sober one, leaving you to be able to get mashed whenever you go anywhere.

[BITTER AS FUCK] No matter what relationship I've been in, I'm the only one who's been able to drive. I got Nerdboy put on my new car insurance as an additional driver last night. He's got a provisional which he's had for about 12 FUCKING YEARS! .. What makes it even worse is that he's practically tea-total too so wouldn't actually mind being des anyway. [/BITTER AS FUCK]
[edit] He's getting his license in the next year come hell or high water[/edit]

Re test passing - all the best ones pass first time ... I thought this was common knowledge? You were just an anomaly ;p (20 lessons here, and passed first time in 1990).

If I had to take my test now though, I'd most likely definitely fail on theory, and practice too most likely. The amount of maneuvers has changed since I took mine (think it's 4 rather than 3 now), and the amount of lessons seems to have increased hugely since way back when I did mine. Instructors seem to be milking it loads now and I doubt even the best of learners take less than 50 lessons to get their license now.
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Neither of us drive :D It's pointless in Leeds any way. Insurance on me is 2-3k+car+petrol+maintenance. And taxis are cheaper than buses for most journeys.

I also suspect I might have blagged my way to a pass, because I made some questionable mistakes that he hovered over the major fault box on but went to minor. I acted all cool like I was born to drive, like I was taking him for a spin in my car, and chatted to him about his family all the way round. I think he would have been gutted to fail me.
 
How can you keep a conversation with the test instructor when you know he's watching your every move? That kind of pressure just kills any hope of engaging in normal conversation.
 
Albion said:
How can you keep a conversation with the test instructor when you know he's watching your every move? That kind of pressure just kills any hope of engaging in normal conversation.
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I went into the test with a genuine acceptance that I was going to fail. Before the test I drank my own body weight in redbull so I was super alert (not my usual self lol). I was just there to see how well I could do. At one point when I thought I got a major I was going to switch up the tempo of the test and start seeing if I could get the most majors in the history of a test, but I thought I might as well give it a real shot to see how far I am off passing lol. The only time I didn't talk during the whole test was during reversing round a corner. I am such a bad driver that my instructor wouldn't even let me drive the car back once i'd passed, although that might be standard procedure. He did seem very glad not to have to teach me any more.
 
damn is it really that hard to get you license in England?

In the US you just take a written (well computerized nowadays) test to get your learners permit, which allows you to drive with someone over 18 for 6 months, then you take the actual drivers test which for me consisted of

parallel park once between two cones
drive a quarter mile down the road, turn around in a shopping center, come back.
 
A major complicating factor is that most cars in the UK, if not the rest of Europe, are manual, so you don't just point the fucker in the direction you want to go and change the speed. You have to get comfortable with doing a little dance over three pedals as your revs increase. This setup also makes it possible to do handbrake turns which are basically the whole point of driving.
 
jancrow I think you mean we all drive 'stick' (said in a nasally annoying voice). I'm sure our tests would be just as easy if we were all driving cars like golf buggies on roads 50x the width of our cars :D
 
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