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Gibberings CLXXX - one hundred and eiiiiiiiiiighty!

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inflorescence said:
Thanks Kate..did just add an edit hello on flu mood rant. I am not sure must be coming up for two weeks..I know pathetic..one glass of wine and even cut the cigarettes right down and eaten much greenery and juiced many things with lots of ginger. I don't have a great deal of patience. I suppose for the not much effort really I expected to reap a few rewards rather than ending up missing a much looked forward to night with two good girlfriends..sigh

Appreciated the hug in a thread the other night too...I am soooo needy and pathetic this week =D but twas lovely all the same. <3

Mr Mist..Enjoy tomorrow..it's so difficult if you have an amazing night it will be easy to forget or justify carrying on..as we dooooo. Is it really a last night of hedonism before rehab/detox, abstinence? In one way I hope for you it is, in another I am annoyed I didn't get the memo as we could have had a full on blue lit brum rainbow meet up.

Someone is looking out for me..just found the last two Zops in this entire house wedged at the back of a drawer..I will sleep and I will get a grip and have swirly flu induced space dreams and be back soon....<3
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Recovery comes Flo <3 It takes dedication. I found the journey disappointing and boring. That's my problem, I always got back to the substances, as real life bores the shit out of me. When I do ride it out, it does become worth it though, but along with that all my issues n' problems I've been self medicating, running away from with drugs catch up with me. It's too easy to relapse without tackling them. And that's the crux of the problem - solve that and you can shift from abuse to recreation. Off course I don't know your or anyone else's circumstances here, but I've been around this cycle too many times to believe it and recognise it.

Apologies for the comments, they may be meaningless and very off the mark. I just hate to see / read pain in others :) You deserve more than digital hugs m'dear - I get the impression you are a unique and wonderful lady who deserves a break and so much more from life than this pain <3<3<3

You too misty xxx

Break on Through
 
I am fine.... Wasn't my intention to stay up more than the 1st night :/ I've just slept since 10 maybe but woke up :/ back to bed.

Seriously, don't worry about me! I did one stupid/accidental thing (I think) which had negative effects for 2 days after. I've actually been very restrained since then. Sorry if my posts are annoying, cumbersome and a bit shit in that time. Anyways, back to sleep!
 
kate said:
When I do ride it out, it does become worth it though, but along with that all my issues n' problems I've been self medicating, running away from with drugs catch up with me.
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It's much worse than I had ever thought possible you have become infected 8o I suspect the only cure is a lengthy course of Linux based posting and drugs ....tgime is of the essence here ;)

Tangerine Dream said:
I am fine.... Wasn't my intention to stay up more than the 1st night :/ I've just slept since 10 maybe but woke up :/ back to bed.

Seriously, don't worry about me! I did one stupid/accidental thing (I think) which had negative effects for 2 days after. I've actually been very restrained since then. Sorry if my posts are annoying, cumbersome and a bit shit in that time. Anyways, back to sleep!
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Glad you seem to have survived relatively unscathed TD :) am I right in saying you did the PV IM ? wasnt too sure from your posts and didnt want to cross question you at the time.

As penance for your school boy errors all posts for the next 6 days (on the run) must be signed Owl face ;)
 
My lengthy reply to you, Inflo+Kate failed due to a "token expiring"-whatever that means-so its been lost and i haven't the patience nor the memory of what i said to repost it.... so..... just <3 for now...

It did take me all night to write as i drifted in and out of consciousness so maybe thats why my token lost patience with me..:! Tokens should really have more patience with folk on drugs..
 
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^^
I'm not sure how long that takes to happen but it will if you have that post window open for too long, must be some kind of authentication thing.

I find it easier to write long posts in an offline editor, even just notepad is better then nothing. Failing that always ensure you have selected all the post text and clicked 'copy' prior to posting, that way you can just re-paste the text back in if it all goes west when you try and post.

None of these things are even slightly useful to you now though :D
 
ScotchMist said:
My lengthy reply to you Inflo+Kate failed due to a "token expiring"-whatever that means- has been lost and i haven't the patience or the memory of what i said to repost it.... so..... just <3 for now...

It did take me all night to write as i drifted in and out of consciousness so maybe thats why my token lost patience with me..:!
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BL has a Restore Auto-Saved Content option... that appears in the corner of the reply box after you lose a post. I guess it gets cancelled if you make a new post in the same thread.... surely that would have remembered a lot, if not all of what you wrote?
 
Morning eadd hope everyones gud.
The quietest halloween on record last night didnt hear one firework heard a few rockets at 9.00am this morn when was out for a walk.
Day 3 of mild h ct withdrawals trying to push through it just the down mood that bugs me. Have many positive moral boosting things happening today +xanax makes it easier. A good restorative acid trip is my next goal. Hit the reset button
 
ScotchMist said:
Thats why you're a double mod... i dont know how you do it for the money ;)
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They pay me in cheesey quavers, old skool Vics inhalers and peanuts, I challenge anyone to turn down the gig at those rates :)

*waves* morning Ed, hope they day bring bit of sunshine
 
Cheers allein i sure it will seeing family today and will be out walking dog on the beach following by a nice home cooked meal + red wine. Not a lot to complain about.
 
It' sunny here today, I haven't left the house for 2 weeks as I've been recuperating following an op but Mrs A is taking me out for an airing later...if I can make to the car %)
 
Allein said:
It' sunny here today, I haven't left the house for 2 weeks as I've been recuperating following an op but Mrs A is taking me out for an airing later...if I can make to the car %)
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hope your recovery is coming along well man im sure an airing as you call it can only be a good thing as long as its not to strenuious/painful.
not sunny here atm here's hoping. Good luck
 
Well it seems you have stolen the sunshine from up here Allein, but you deserve it! I'm sure a day airing will be good for the soul. :)
 
kate said:
Dance with me?

N-Joi - Anthem

Sam?
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Awwww, sorry I was too unconscious to dance with you. <3

I was like a shallow-breathing rag doll. I doubt you could've picked me up, but I would've been useless even if you had.

I survived though. You know how resistant I am to death by depressants. I was sensible, and only sipped on the scotch until I noticed general wobbliness. Kept the window open too. Awoke as fresh as a daisy.

Christ, I dread to think of some of the downer combos I used to take back in the 'good' old days. :D

Be good. That's an order, not a sign-off. ;)

PS: Hope you had a good 'n' witchy Samhain, Flo. <3
 
kate said:
Recovery comes Flo <3 It takes dedication. I found the journey disappointing and boring. That's my problem, I always got back to the substances, as real life bores the shit out of me. When I do ride it out, it does become worth it though, but along with that all my issues n' problems I've been self medicating, running away from with drugs catch up with me. It's too easy to relapse without tackling them. And that's the crux of the problem - solve that and you can shift from abuse to recreation. Off course I don't know your or anyone else's circumstances here, but I've been around this cycle too many times to believe it and recognise it.
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I need to print that out and pin it up somewhere, as its kind of inspirational, even with the toatlly honest "disappoiting and boring" bit. I s'pose on the bright side there is some satsifaction to be had from conquering self destructive habits, although such moments have occured over the last couple of years, the 'sticking with it' side of things seems to be where i come unstuck time and time again.

Good decision not to do the MXE TD, i very much doubt it would have been a good experience given what you had been through physically and mentally beforehand. If you were already fucked to start with the MXE may just have amplified this, sending you on a magical mystery tour of the dark side of everything. Or maybe thats just me.
 
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