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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Gibberings CLXIII - Up All Night Shooting Cheese Balls

Hi Kenny, sounds like you got a good day planned out there.Pissing it down here

Nah mate, I have the extended family over, if I were by myself it would a splendid day indeed.

I'll just eat, drink and then hide under a tree for a snooze, shame it's bycicle day and I haven't got any tryptamines.

Maybe if the relatives go for ice cream, walk or church I'll have a little tooter of 3C-P just for the sake of it.

I'm paranoid about running out of benzos though, I know I'm fine for today as I just chewed 3 diclaz, with its extremely long half life and that of its metabolytes I should be fine for ages, I have one left, will have to resist and keep it for tomorrow, before the barbecue.

Tomorrow should be good, just a few friends out in the sun having a few beers and a braai.

Today is horrible, I swear down if my granmda asks me again why I don't have a girlfriend I'll snap.


I read some comments by Shambles on the previous pages about opiates blunting your emotions, kratom does the same thing to me, it detatches me, it's like a firewall between myself and others, that's why I like it so much.
 
Morning.

No more drinking.
Diet n exercise starting tomorrow.
I've let myself slip back into old ways last few weeks drinking n stuff.
No more. I don't want to be that person.
So ashamed of myself.

Also no more letting people hurt me n getting depressed over it. That stops today as by doing so, I'm letting other have power over me. From now on if someone upsets me I'm going to use the report feature, ignore them straight away regardless of who it is.

I'm getting back on recovery.
So will go more to the recovery forums n
Also new member introductions n help out more.
I'm going to take the power back in my life n be the best person that I can be.

I'm deeply sorry for how I've acted the last few weeks getting drunk.
Back to recovery n I pray that this time I will succeed.
I'm also glad that I couldn't have the codeine the other day because that's not a road I want to go down.

Evey xxxx
 
I can barely eat right now and my throat feels tight. I don't know if it's the tired or the alcohol I drank earlier. Feel shit.
 
Nasty... how much did you drink? how much sleep you had? hammer loads of water and sleep

Good idea eve, best of luck, tis surprising how much exercise and a healthy diet helps, and No need to apologize, xx
 
Nasty... how much did you drink? how much sleep you had? hammer loads of water and sleep

Good idea eve, best of luck, tis surprising how much exercise and a healthy diet helps, and No need to apologize, xx

Thanks, Dan. That means a lot. I've been reading raas' posts lately n have found him to be inspiring.
I won't delete my posts last night cause maybe they'll help someone see the dangers of alcohol especially if feeling depressed.

My problem is I'm too quick to feel hurt n depressed over something one member says n it's really rather silly because, by doing so, I'm giving these people power n making myself look spoilt, immature, petulant n like an attention seeker.

It all stops today. If someone upsets me in future I will question it n maybe check with a moderator if it's true.
For instance, if I come across as "trying to run the site," then a moderator/ admin would have pulled me up on it.

So it's time to grow up n stop looking for excuses to go back to
My addictive behaviours.

Evey
 
Pfft not much, 2 speccys some 4-FA and been up since around 5pm I think.
Ive had loads of green tea since, my stomach feels better now I think I was just hungry. Alcohol doesn't really do shit to me it's the lack of sleep that fucks me up.
 
You bastards all enjoying your drugs. I just endured the lunch with the relatives. Fuck it, I'm eating my last diclaz, this is too stressful.

I hate family lunches, did I mention that earlier?
 
Hey hey Kenny I aint got no drugs, and I aint getting good food at any family lunch, so u just stfu and enjoy my friend =D
 
My problem is I'm too quick to feel hurt n depressed over something one member says n it's really rather silly because,

It is kinda silly... but everybodys different... learn to not give a shit, not to take things personally, helps a lot. i dont really give a shit about much, too much worrying about what other people say etc will drive ya nuts... altho i say things sometimes without properly taking into consideration how they may feel about it, altho its just my opinion etc, part of my "not giving a shit-ness" altho i really dont like offending people unless they deserve it

How old are you eve by the way? have you always been so emotional and sensitive xx

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I'm sober today and am really looking forward to my family Easter lunch, I'll put up with idle small talk for roast potatoes and shitloads of gravy.
 
Morning.

No more drinking.
Diet n exercise starting tomorrow.
I've let myself slip back into old ways last few weeks drinking n stuff.
No more. I don't want to be that person.
So ashamed of myself.

Also no more letting people hurt me n getting depressed over it. That stops today as by doing so, I'm letting other have power over me. From now on if someone upsets me I'm going to use the report feature, ignore them straight away regardless of who it is.

I'm getting back on recovery.
So will go more to the recovery forums n
Also new member introductions n help out more.
I'm going to take the power back in my life n be the best person that I can be.

I'm deeply sorry for how I've acted the last few weeks getting drunk.
Back to recovery n I pray that this time I will succeed.
I'm also glad that I couldn't have the codeine the other day because that's not a road I want to go down.

Evey xxxx


Good to hear :) Know how easy it is to slip with the booze. Take the power back, that's exactly it. Good luck! And don't worry too much, most of us have done the drunken/drugged ramble once or twice or thrice. Sounds like ya on the right track anyway.

As for me. Parents are over, just finished digging out the little flower...pit....brick thing with Mum and finally got her to understand my fear of spiders when I found an earthworm I swear to god was nearly the thickness of my thumb. She screamed and ran.

'But it can't hurt you!', which is exactly what she says when a spider comes at me. So ner. Tired now.
 
Hey hey Kenny I aint got no drugs, and I aint getting good food at any family lunch, so u just stfu and enjoy my friend =D

I polished off the remainder of my diclazepam and drank a fair bit, there will be more booze later, it's getting bearable.

Only bad thing is I have no more diclaz for tomorrow's barbecue with my mates, don't know whether I'll get away with it or I will have some sort of WD, the long half life, leads me to think that it's tuesday I should afraid of.
 
You bastards all enjoying your drugs. I just endured the lunch with the relatives. Fuck it, I'm eating my last diclaz, this is too stressful.

I hate family lunches, did I mention that earlier?

No drugs at Chez Sham - also got lunch/dinner with family. We mostly keep a sensible distance between us but a couple times a year I get invited for feeding. Seems just about the right ratio of distance:free food to me. We get on much better for not seeing each other too often (although if I make it till evening without bordering on big arguments I'll be impressed - I tend to leave early on those kinda days which I think MamaSham finds mildly disappointing cos am sure she secretly likes the wind-up (she being the winder-upper)). Her fella cooks a belter of a roast though so worth the eggshell stepping for that alone. Also, chocolate.

Also no more letting people hurt me n getting depressed over it. That stops today as by doing so, I'm letting other have power over me. From now on if someone upsets me I'm going to use the report feature, ignore them straight away regardless of who it is.

Good news, Evey. You're dead right - allowing people to hurt you when there's really no reason for you to be hurting does give them power over you. In keeping with the rather metallic theme of the morn, you gotta Take the Power Back <3

Good news on cutting back on drinking too - something I need to be doing too. Although I did quit reasonably early last night before I got too out of it which is an improvement over usual. Was a bit squiffy though :o

Sounds like you have excellent plans and ideas for what you want to be doing for the next steps of your recovery - great to hear you've been thinking about these things and sounds like you're gonna be putting them into action. Look forward to seeing you succeed and good luck with it all :)<3
 
Hahaha i've a phobia of holes n being buried alive. Should have me digging the thing n me panicking every time I looked at the rising gravel lol.

clusters of holes? Trypophobia... freaks me out a bit if i google images of that

NSFW:
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