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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Gibberings CLX: Gibberings Unplugged

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Ive started going to NA again, I really struggled with it last time around but it did seem to keep me off drugs. I stopped going and have slipped back into old habits, coincidence, I dont know, maybe its just circumstance but its worth another shot.
 
ScotchMist said:
You going through a detox MrS??
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Yeah. Not an especially bad one but has been awhile so irksome all the same.

ScotchMist said:
Hope your symptoms ease up soon.. :)
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Right back atcha :)
Eveleivibe said:
brain zaps?????
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Brain zaps

Common side-effect of quitting SSRIs/SNRIs or overdoing serotonergic drugs like MDMA (or in my case 6-APDB). Is down to buggered serotonin levels and really is immensely unpleasant but doesn't usually last too long if it's from recreational excess. Quitting tramadol I had 'em for three months straight. Both times. Now that was not fun :|
 
ScotchMist said:
Ive started going to NA again, I really struggled with it last time around but it did seem to keep me off drugs. I stopped going and have slipped back into old habits, coincidence, I dont know, maybe its just circumstance but its worth another shot.
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How do you find NA and does it work for you mate? I would really like to try NA but I have never got on well in group type things and the rehab experience of groups (which I assume is some what like NA to a degree?) was not a good one but I think that was down to mental health problems more than anything. I found or at least thought that a lot of what they said in those group things was bullshit, peers excluded of course. I think NA is not quite the same as its not a lecture and is more about sharing/talking were as rehab and the group sessions you can do via the addiction services are just having a fair amount of rubbish talked to you then a short share at the end.
 
Eveleivibe said:
Awh yes are those, those horrible electric feeling that goes through your head???
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Yup. Like being electrocuted between the ears. Hence, brain zaps. They're not so great a way to spend a few days are they? :\

Don't seem to be getting any Suicide Tuesday stuff (the infamous dip in mood some folk get a few days after using MDMA-like drugs) but brain zaps have been off the scale. 6-APDB does seem to be especially bad for those cos was getting 'em even after the first day's use when I'd only had a sensible amount. Cut to a few days - and a very far from sensible amount - later and fizz, crackle, zzzzzzzaaaaaaaapppppp!!! all the way 8)
 
Shambles said:
Yup. Like being electrocuted between the ears. Hence, brain zaps. They're not so great a way to spend a few days are they? :\

Don't seem to be getting any Suicide Tuesday stuff (the infamous dip in mood some folk get a few days after using MDMA-like drugs) but brain zaps have been off the scale. 6-APDB does seem to be especially bad for those cos was getting 'em even after the first day's use when I'd only had a sensible amount. Cut to a few days - and a very far from sensible amount - later and fizz, crackle, zzzzzzzaaaaaaaapppppp!!! all the way 8)
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My tics (facial and body) feel like little brain zaps. The big ones build up with a lot of power and go right through me and can make any part of me jerk/tic, the big ones can also make noises like grunts or even words :(
 
Shambles said:
Yup. Like being electrocuted between the ears. Hence, brain zaps. They're not so great a way to spend a few days are they? :\

Don't seem to be getting any Suicide Tuesday stuff (the infamous dip in mood some folk get a few days after using MDMA-like drugs) but brain zaps have been off the scale. 6-APDB does seem to be especially bad for those cos was getting 'em even after the first day's use when I'd only had a sensible amount. Cut to a few days - and a very far from sensible amount - later and fizz, crackle, zzzzzzzaaaaaaaapppppp!!! all the way 8)
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fucking hell, man. I was sorry to have a go at you taking all them drugs in the fucked forum t'other day, you weren't too happy 'bout it... but I hope you see why I said so now. HR and all. There's only so much the brain chemistry can deal with.
 
darkinthepark said:
How do you find NA and does it work for you mate? I would really like to try NA but I have never got on well in group type things and the rehab experience of groups (which I assume is some what like NA to a degree?) was not a good one but I think that was down to mental health problems more than anything. I found or at least thought that a lot of what they said in those group things was bullshit, peers excluded of course. I think NA is not quite the same as its not a lecture and is more about sharing/talking were as rehab and the group sessions you can do via the addiction services are just having a fair amount of rubbish talked to you then a short share at the end.
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Tis a weird one for me, im naturally, when not full of chemicals, fairly quiet, most definitely someone who swerves public speaking at all costs etc etc theres a whole list of reasons I could write as to why I wouldnt get on with it.. However for reasons I dont understand I feel relatively comfortable in there and it does seem to work for me.

I think it has alot to do with the people in the room, if you think about going and you dont get on with it id suggest trying a different group before writing it off.

The sharing most definitely helps me, I bottle everything up, talk to nobod about my problems, im happy to just blurt it all out in those rooms though, even just sitting there listening is helpful.

It gets you out, meet some interesting and not so interesting folk and have a chat. Get some phone numbers, meet up for coffees or curries or whatever. The social side of it is what I see as the most valuable part, finding some people who you dont have to put on your disguise for, they know your warts and you know theirs, it makes for a pleasant change just being YOU...!
 
raas_2012 said:
fucking hell, man. I was sorry to have a go at you taking all them drugs in the fucked forum t'other day, you weren't too happy 'bout it... but I hope you see why I said so now. HR and all. There's only so much the brain chemistry can deal with.
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Wasn't happy about it cos I was plastered. Bottle of voddy in = StroppyShambles. Apologies if I was especially nasty. I don't rightly recall the specifics and not felt the need to go back and check cos I know I'm an arse when pissed :\

Meh, off to beddy-byes for me. Need to be up bright and early to have pointy thinks poked into my teeth and gums. Good-o. Nighty, all <3
 
ScotchMist said:
Tis a weird one for me, im naturally, when not full of chemicals, fairly quiet, most definitely someone who swerves public speaking at all costs etc etc theres a whole list of reasons I could write as to why I wouldnt get on with it.. However for reasons I dont understand I feel relatively comfortable in there and it does seem to work for me.

I think it has alot to do with the people in the room, if you think about going and you dont get on with it id suggest trying a different group before writing it off.

The sharing most definitely helps me, I bottle everything up, talk to nobod about my problems, im happy to just blurt it all out in those rooms though, even just sitting there listening is helpful.

It gets you out, meet some interesting and not so interesting folk and have a chat. Get some phone numbers, meet up for coffees or curries or whatever. The social side of it is what I see as the most valuable part, finding some people who you dont have to put on your disguise for, they know your warts and you know theirs, it makes for a pleasant change just being YOU...!
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As soon as I feel up to it (mentally) I am going to give it another go, if I don't have an episode then run off I think it would really help me.
 
darkinthepark said:
How do you find NA and does it work for you mate? I would really like to try NA but I have never got on well in group type things and the rehab experience of groups (which I assume is some what like NA to a degree?) was not a good one but I think that was down to mental health problems more than anything. I found or at least thought that a lot of what they said in those group things was bullshit, peers excluded of course. I think NA is not quite the same as its not a lecture and is more about sharing/talking were as rehab and the group sessions you can do via the addiction services are just having a fair amount of rubbish talked to you then a short share at the end.
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It's always worth giving a shot IMO. It didn't work for me personally mostly because I was just trying to stop heroin and not any other drugs which is something they frown upon, and I also don't agree with the whole 'not being in control of your addiction' thing - but that being said the group spirit and the support there were great, and I did get something out of the relationships I made with other members, without getting something out of the meetings themselves. And I do know a fair number of people who were greatly helped by NA, never hurts to give it a shot.
 
I rejected it for years.. the slightest suggestion made by a key worker and id put the blockers on it before theyd finished the sentence. I was convinced it wasnt for me before trying it.

Its by no means perfect and I struggle to with some of the ideas and suggestions they make, its not for everyone but its worth a try.

The whole higher power/god thing is a major part I struggle with amongst a few others, id suggest to just take on board what you think will benefit you and skirt around the useless it can work. You may be frowned upon by the 12 step purists but fuck em.. ;)

It can be a struggle but so is running around being a drug addict... (sometimes ;) )
 
ScotchMist said:
The whole higher power/god thing is a major part I struggle with amongst a few others, id suggest to just take on board what you think will benefit you and skirt around the useless it can work. You may be frowned upon by the 12 step purists but fuck em.. ;)
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Yeah, basically.

Take from it what helps, doesn't matter if that's not every step. Just maybe don't be too obvious about it :p
 
Evey- I've read enough of your posts to know you are a caring and genuine person...'twas just pointing out that what might be perceived as nutter thinking is fairly common around here....we are nutters after all! ;) But I get what you are saying, and that it comes from a good place. Knocks departure has caused a big hole and shock here....I took to him as soon as he joined, he really was one in a billion. It never is easy when a BLer passes, but it has been a particularly rough few years here....especially for EADD :(

Re: NA/AA ....I get some help and relief from meetings at times...I don't go on about it here much, as this isn't really the place (:D) but it certainly has done more good than bad in my life. Like said above, take what you need, leave the rest. I've made some great friends, and having an outlet really has helped during certain periods... That being said, there are good meetings and bad meetings, and parts of the philosophy that I get on with, others not....

Cheers
 
It hasn't. But I'm gonna continue to bitch and moan about toothache and w/d despite being relatively petty personal concerns. As such...

Dentist this morning. Bloody abcess. Bugger. Doesn't even hurt to day so nearly cancelled appointment but turns out lucky I went. Not so lucky to be on double antibiotics for 2 1/2 weeks and having to wait till nearly May for an extraction. Ah well. Clove oil is doing sterling work so gonna have one day of booziness before having to swear off completely for three weeks for antibios. It's apparently been infected for quite a while without me noticing so sure another day won't hurt. Also softens the blow of enforced sobriety. And Guinness is on offer at Co-Op so was clearly destiny :D

Other than that, shitty night's (lack of) sleep again. Just tossing and turning for hours with horrid hollowleadlegs. Managed to get a couple hours broken sleep (complete with yet more persistent freaky dreams - I sense a theme this week :sus:) around dawn and woke up feeling surprisingly okay considering. I have a sneaky that I may just be clucked. Is always hard to be sure but compared to yesterday (when I actually thought I felt okay aside from brain zaps) I feel a lot better even without the CWE addition. Said CWE could still be lingering a bit but I still feel much better than I did last night so quietly hopeful I've broken the back of it and all downhill from here. Goody good :)

General ramble aside, mornin', all :)
 
Dont worry Eve i have loads of random/stupid/insane/daft/crazy thoughts but also a streak of common sense that kicks in sometimes. A random thought is no more than that, it doesnt mean im going to act on it. Ive seen the state of those drains, covered in green slime, unless someone payed me a fuck of a lot of money there is no way i would ever consume substances left stewing away in such an environment. I dont think it would kill me but i would be extremely ill, just thinking about i know id be retching and vomiting immediatelly.

At this moment in time i feel as if i have the opiate demon tamed, a large part of me doesnt want to go any further down that road. The only slight worry is that it has been so easy to stop taking kratom on this occasion is that i might become too casual about it, and be tempted by another re-order. But the larger part of me definately wants out. There may allways be a slight temptation to relapse, so i have to take each day, one day at a time atm. One re-order seems to lead to another, and another, and so on.

People dreaming about me ? Wow, jesus hahahah.

In not so amusing news i feel a bit strangely / insanely haunted by Knock's death. The depression about it is lifting, but ofcourse it will allways be a source of sadness and sheer shock and disbelief. It was so unexpected that the dependable and extremely intelligent Knock should die on us. It feels weird and sad that you can feel like you loved someone you never even met, and i didnt realise how much i loved the guy, but i really did and still do. His posts and responses to mine would delight me. I spoke to him on the phone for about one minute once but exchanged hundreds of posts, all the responses were rewarding, he kind of created an entrance for me into this place and made me feel welcome, amongst some others.
 
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