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Getting/Staying Clean. Worth it?

Shvibzik

Shvibzik

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 7, 2006
Messages
168
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United States
Hey guys, I was wondering if there were any of you out there addicted to heroin/roxis/morphine etc. that have gotten clean and stayed clean, and intentionally chose to go back to using. Did any of you want to start using again, not necessarily because of a weak moment that turned into addiction again, but because you enjoyed your life better.

Any of you out there feeling that way? Personally, I think that if I had my own script, therefore not having to deal with dealers, other junkies, or the police. Wouldn't have to worry about getting sick..I think if that were my situation I would probably choose to keep using..but since it isn't, I am getting back on Suboxone in a couple weeks (got the earliest appt I could).

How do you guys feel?
 
I think every junkie would go back to heroin in a heartbeat under those type of circumstances:\. I have intentionally gone back after quitting for a long time I was just trying to avoid making it a daily habit.
 
i was forced to quit/withdraw during an incarceration (pretty short bid, around 3 months) and intentionally relapsed back into my habit upon release, within the hour of stepping out. I guess i'm not ready to quit, though i don't let my addiction get in the way of school, work, etc (arrest was unrelated to drugs)
 
I'm trying to get clean... I fucking hope it'll be worth the all pain and struggles! :\
 
^^
yeah I hear ya. I just can't seem to beat it. I always go back, knowing full well the consequences. Crazy logic. Maybe this time will be different
 
Right now I have a perfect system working out. I take my suboxone one week and stay high the entire next one. It keeps my tolerance from getting too high and allows me to remain functional. It's kind of hard to afford right now because I don't have a job, so my suboxone days have outnumbered my heroin/oxy ones. But once I get employed you can be damn sure I will be high as a motherfucker again once I get that first check.

I don't know if this could work for everybody however, I don't shoot, I never nod out unintentionally, and I am even more functional on opiates than I am without them, so I might be unique.
 
I managed to get clean after using on a regular basis for about a year straight. Not long compared to others, I know.

Anyways, I managed to get clean and now I limit my use to once every 2-3 months. I try to never seek it out.

There is no doubt I will always have a slight opiate craving in the back of my mind. But the costs and the risks involved no longer outweigh the euphoria the drug gave me. Dont get me wrong, id buy a balloon if someone offered but itd be a special treat to me. Im actually trying to clean up my life right now... we'll see how that goes.
 
Problem most people face with drug addictions is, and infact many things that 'feel good' but are bad for you, is that we humans cannot get a very good sense of the future.. its all about now for us. Even though youll feel great and youll wake up with a smile on your face everyday if you get off the drugs.. thats not gonna be the case for months, maybe even years.. FUCK THAT! I COULD JUST SLAM SOME H AND BE HAPPY! is the general idea most people have. Short term > long term, is why so many people become addicts.

Youll notice, people who can save money, especially from a young age, often will not get addicted or abuse drugs much/at all. Long term thinkers.. they are alot less common(thus why so many people are in debt) and this is why more often than not, the majority of people will become addicted to X drug very easily. I firmly believe long term thinkers dont enjoy life as much though.
 
I had been to rehab/detox a couple times, tried on my own, and always relapsed back to the dope. But today was my first day at the methadone clinic so I really believe this is going to work and be a step in the right direction so i can start gettting my life back on track. I have cancer, but I hope to get stabalized on the 'done and then go back to work. This shit's getting old.
 
moonyham said:
Problem most people face with drug addictions is, and infact many things that 'feel good' but are bad for you, is that we humans cannot get a very good sense of the future.. its all about now for us. Even though youll feel great and youll wake up with a smile on your face everyday if you get off the drugs.. thats not gonna be the case for months, maybe even years.. FUCK THAT! I COULD JUST SLAM SOME H AND BE HAPPY! is the general idea most people have. Short term > long term, is why so many people become addicts.

Youll notice, people who can save money, especially from a young age, often will not get addicted or abuse drugs much/at all. Long term thinkers.. they are alot less common(thus why so many people are in debt) and this is why more often than not, the majority of people will become addicted to X drug very easily. I firmly believe long term thinkers dont enjoy life as much though.
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Good observations. I agree with you 100%

I am such a instant gratification person. It's a hard habit to break
 
i feel the same way you do as far as "if i had as script id be fine" i take roxies not much only 3-4 30mgs a week..but i think about it constantly and the days i dont take any feel like shit..i should take my own advice but you use them as a crutch to enjoy basic shit like goin out with your friends or doing activities..im goin to stop soon hopefully and would like to get back to the point in my life where i could go out to a friends house with out taking a roxy and enjoy my friends company/conversation with out feeling like i have to take a pill..also heard it fucks with you rewards system in your brain and the longer your on it the worst it is..ive noticed this that stuff that should make you happy or feel accomplished dont and the only thing that does is the drug...of course the best thing to do is quit...i sincerely wish you luck..and myself luck too lol
 
wow

BrokedownPalace said:
I had been to rehab/detox a couple times, tried on my own, and always relapsed back to the dope. But today was my first day at the methadone clinic so I really believe this is going to work and be a step in the right direction so i can start gettting my life back on track. I have cancer, but I hope to get stabalized on the 'done and then go back to work. This shit's getting old.
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wow man, u said it perfectly. thats exactly wat is going on in my life, minus the cancer, alto my sis had cancer when she was young, so i do know aspects of that life as well, unfortunate as it may be; but this shit is indeed getting old. im tired of slammin half a brick plus a day. im on probation, havent spoken to them in 3 weeks, i have an amazing gf of 4 yrs which or relationship is failing and breaking down (she uses as well, went to detoxx got clean, i got precipitated w'd's and had to leave, long story. wasnt gettin strapped in a restraint chair in that condition). im out of money, i have nuttin left to sell that i wud want to sell or care to sell, (few items OFF limits).i dont like to steal, and try my hardest not to, and its just O L D. i dont even get high no more. str8 up. i spend everyday warding off a sickness. I have plans to sign up for meth clinic, which i start tomorrow, pay for the first week or two, then stop and be placed on administrative detox. and ill get weened down until they discharge me for the program, or if its not time or im not ready, then come up with the money somehow (i can come up wit 150 bills a day somehow im sure i can manage 60 bills a WEEK lol.). Its gonna b hard but i have to and want to do it. so i think ill be okay.
wish me luck everyone.!
god fuck that rig! altho time to bang out and sleep. meth clinic 6 AM and i live 35 mins away. YAY!!
 
^^^ man I feel you I am in the same boat and just don't know what to do. I have no more dope left and am freakin out about getting sick tomorrow. I just want this fucking rollercoaster to be over. Good luck to you guys and I pray for the best for all of you!
 
Man, every time i quit opiates and get on subs, ALWAYS its either day 4 or 5 I say to myself.... "do I really want to be sober for the rest of my life", then BAM, relapse. Since I am on bupe, I give it enough time since my last does to get a good high. But DAMN, with all the pain and hurt opiates have brought me, sometimes I wonder if being off them is worth it. My life seems so stale without them.
 
I wish I could give a good answer but I'd say it all depends on your point of view. I'm currently clean (2 months and counting) and technically I love it. I don't have to worry about where my fix comes from or where the money to get the fix comes from. I'm not irritated as much and I have money in my pocket and I've even went back to eating regularly, lol. That said, I find my life to be very boring now and I certainly miss my drugs and it can't really be withdraw at this point. I wish things were different because I would absolutely choose oxy if it weren't for the b.s. It is just what I like/want to do with my life even if most other people don't agree with my philosophy
 
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