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Getting off dope
- Thread starter jake99
- Start date
If I were you- I'd wean yourself down with the Done. I just don't know much about methadone as I've never taken it. After you wean down, if you're still having significant discomfort- I'd take the trams. Start with 3 in AM and then 3 PM 2 hrs before bed. Do that for a week, then take away a pill in the AM- wait a week, then remove one at night- week, then remove 1 from AM- do a week etc.
I've found tram- when taken in low doses- can really really help w/d. The effecys last a while as well. You won't get high but your w/d symptoms will be lessened and you may well be able to sleep at night. I was never tempted to take any in between my schedule because they really don't get you high and, in fact, can make you feel really weird if you take too much.
But the key will be weaning down with the methadone.
As someone pointed out- opiate addiction is really hard to overcome. I still struggle with it. Don't be ashamed and keep trying- no matter how many tries it takes.
I've found tram- when taken in low doses- can really really help w/d. The effecys last a while as well. You won't get high but your w/d symptoms will be lessened and you may well be able to sleep at night. I was never tempted to take any in between my schedule because they really don't get you high and, in fact, can make you feel really weird if you take too much.
But the key will be weaning down with the methadone.
As someone pointed out- opiate addiction is really hard to overcome. I still struggle with it. Don't be ashamed and keep trying- no matter how many tries it takes.
trychomes
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2005
- Messages
- 161
samesies
i feel you, man. i bring home ~2500-3000 monthly and my expenses are about $700. and lately my BF has been covering a lot of my expenses. I feel like (am) a huge piece of shit. shits gotta end but every time i try, i fail. which is why i feel i should AT LEAST see what the deal with the methadone clinic is. sure its still an addicting drug but it may stop me from trying to score 24/7 and waste all my gas and $ getting it. WHO KNOWS? surely not me, clearly.
thanks for reading.
i feel you, man. i bring home ~2500-3000 monthly and my expenses are about $700. and lately my BF has been covering a lot of my expenses. I feel like (am) a huge piece of shit. shits gotta end but every time i try, i fail. which is why i feel i should AT LEAST see what the deal with the methadone clinic is. sure its still an addicting drug but it may stop me from trying to score 24/7 and waste all my gas and $ getting it. WHO KNOWS? surely not me, clearly.
thanks for reading.
Feeling like my life has been ruined forever ............
I dont know if anyone cares or wants to hear this but im once again stuck in misery of addiction and feel i have nowhere to turn...............iver tried N.A. , methadone , suboxone , been to rehab , jail everything and at 29 i feel like my life will never get better.............i dont know if im lookin for advice or just feel like i got nowhere left to turn but Bluelight but i was gonna put up something on here that i sent to a friend earlier , basically my life story in a condensed version ..........any feedback is good i guess..............
my mom who has been to prison and lost everything because my dad and stepmom pressed charges on her when she was an alcoholic, is now so depressed she has barely left the house for a few years now, and lives with my 89 y/o grandmother (her mother) so i asked her about my dad and how he lost his first job because he stole fetanyl and IV valium from it and she is goin on and on tellin me the whole story and its so depressing i want her to shutup but i feel bad for her so i just let her ramble........its like she is obsessed with it and so shot out now that she cant let it go even tho it was 30 years ago .........Not to tell u my life story but when i was like 14 she ran my dad down with her car when she was drunk and broke his legs and ever since then ive been messed up , weed, then acid/e then coke and eventually dope......since the dope i went to rehab 4 times, prison twice, and never got any good job. i got out after doing my 2nd bid like 2 and a half yrs ago and i went back to school (associates degree) and finished that with a degree and finished parole but i havent been able to stay clean thru all that , tried methadone clinic, suboxone dr. , tons of N.A. , and still got a habit..............its nuts.........ive also been on a million anti depressants , and heroin is only thing thats ever taken away that depression but its also made me lose everything . So now i just dont know where to turn , i really have no way to get help even if i wanna get clean so basically i just stay stuck in cycle and like u said i love dope more than anything , so here i am riskin my ass every day just to get one more ya know.....sad but true........
I dont know if anyone cares or wants to hear this but im once again stuck in misery of addiction and feel i have nowhere to turn...............iver tried N.A. , methadone , suboxone , been to rehab , jail everything and at 29 i feel like my life will never get better.............i dont know if im lookin for advice or just feel like i got nowhere left to turn but Bluelight but i was gonna put up something on here that i sent to a friend earlier , basically my life story in a condensed version ..........any feedback is good i guess..............
my mom who has been to prison and lost everything because my dad and stepmom pressed charges on her when she was an alcoholic, is now so depressed she has barely left the house for a few years now, and lives with my 89 y/o grandmother (her mother) so i asked her about my dad and how he lost his first job because he stole fetanyl and IV valium from it and she is goin on and on tellin me the whole story and its so depressing i want her to shutup but i feel bad for her so i just let her ramble........its like she is obsessed with it and so shot out now that she cant let it go even tho it was 30 years ago .........Not to tell u my life story but when i was like 14 she ran my dad down with her car when she was drunk and broke his legs and ever since then ive been messed up , weed, then acid/e then coke and eventually dope......since the dope i went to rehab 4 times, prison twice, and never got any good job. i got out after doing my 2nd bid like 2 and a half yrs ago and i went back to school (associates degree) and finished that with a degree and finished parole but i havent been able to stay clean thru all that , tried methadone clinic, suboxone dr. , tons of N.A. , and still got a habit..............its nuts.........ive also been on a million anti depressants , and heroin is only thing thats ever taken away that depression but its also made me lose everything . So now i just dont know where to turn , i really have no way to get help even if i wanna get clean so basically i just stay stuck in cycle and like u said i love dope more than anything , so here i am riskin my ass every day just to get one more ya know.....sad but true........
nervousone
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2009
- Messages
- 414
And here lies the problem. I am the first to admit you have been through a ton of shit in your life but I have been following your story from the beginning and it all boils down to this: the benefits of using dope are greater than the consequences for you. If you can't find happiness in something outside of opiates this is probably all you ever have to look forward to. Do you have any passions? Are you spiritual at all? The way this is going to end for you is dead or in jail unless you make some major changes in your thinking.
theartofwar
Bluelighter
Man like i've said jake, I feel you dude. I wish I had some good advice for you but just know you aint alone man - i really feel like this more n more every fucking day.
nervousone- I hear u man, believe me i dont wanna be a junkie forever..........................thing is , only place i know i can go to kick you have to do it cold turkey and i dunno if i could handle that..............but at same time every time i try to kick on my own whether its with subs or methadone or percs or whatever , i always fail..................
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Do you believe you have options regarding your use? Like, can you imagine living without dope/opiates?
On a totally different not, I've been following your posts since I was a lurker here in college, for like the last three years, and you have always seemed like a very interesting person.
On a totally different not, I've been following your posts since I was a lurker here in college, for like the last three years, and you have always seemed like a very interesting person.
Bojangles69
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 20, 2009
- Messages
- 1,757
Jake you keep relapsing because you have no idea what it means to live.
Have you EVER had any sort of life that you can call grounded & stable? Have you ever had more than 3 years where you stayed 100% sober and tried to get involved in "normal" things.
You know like video games, sports, women, clothes, business, politics, money, cars... ANYthing?
Do you think you don't have any interests in that stuff because you're actually different, or because you've just been on drugs for so long that your brain is still hibernating?
Look dude. You hate your life whether you're on or off drugs. But you've never really even been off drugs long enough to even find reason to stay off them, thats your real problem. I remember my first 3 years sober of speed I still thought I'd go back, I still didn't really give much a shit about anything. But eventually when you stay clean long enough, normal things in life become enough on their own to motivate you away from using drugs. Thats what happened to me, and thats what you see happen to a lot of people.
When I relapsed after 6 years sober I actually loved my life at the time and didnt realize it till I had enough years on drugs again. Its unfortunate that sometimes we can't even tell when our life is good thats how messed up our frame of reference is.
You need to make some sort of drastic change in both your lifestyle in general and your thinking. That requires a lot of effort and preparation. And the best start for most people is usually signing themselves into to some form of a long term rehab. Maybe as short as 28 days but I think 90days in an impatient would have the most benefit at the point you're in. If you can't ever get serious about recovery, in action along with thought, then yes chances are 20 years from now you will be an even more miserable addict with even less potential happy years to look forward to.
Stop thinking your life is over. There are addicts in this world that trust me like using drugs A LOT more then you, and are able to go more than one day w/out thinking the world is gonna end from their drug use. You don't actually seem cut out for long term drug use in my honest opinion. Your personality in general seems awfully conservative. I just couldn't imagine you using this way a lot longer. You know drugs are the problem you just are never ready to do anything about it. But trust me when the years accumulate and accumulate things DO become unbearably real at some point and people DO wake up.
If you never plan on stopping then here are some things you might wanna become ok with:
Not having a bed to sleep in or a home to stay in.
Not having a single person who really cares about you or looks forward for when you come home.
Not having your health, spirit, or sanity.
Its a progression, a slow one, how long are you going to wait before you put your foot down?
You don't look for reasons to live THEN stop using drugs. You stop using drugs, and MAKE reasons
to live. How can you expect to actually have any reasons, when all you've been doing is using drugs in the first place? You can't, thats not how it works.
Have you EVER had any sort of life that you can call grounded & stable? Have you ever had more than 3 years where you stayed 100% sober and tried to get involved in "normal" things.
You know like video games, sports, women, clothes, business, politics, money, cars... ANYthing?
Do you think you don't have any interests in that stuff because you're actually different, or because you've just been on drugs for so long that your brain is still hibernating?
Look dude. You hate your life whether you're on or off drugs. But you've never really even been off drugs long enough to even find reason to stay off them, thats your real problem. I remember my first 3 years sober of speed I still thought I'd go back, I still didn't really give much a shit about anything. But eventually when you stay clean long enough, normal things in life become enough on their own to motivate you away from using drugs. Thats what happened to me, and thats what you see happen to a lot of people.
When I relapsed after 6 years sober I actually loved my life at the time and didnt realize it till I had enough years on drugs again. Its unfortunate that sometimes we can't even tell when our life is good thats how messed up our frame of reference is.
You need to make some sort of drastic change in both your lifestyle in general and your thinking. That requires a lot of effort and preparation. And the best start for most people is usually signing themselves into to some form of a long term rehab. Maybe as short as 28 days but I think 90days in an impatient would have the most benefit at the point you're in. If you can't ever get serious about recovery, in action along with thought, then yes chances are 20 years from now you will be an even more miserable addict with even less potential happy years to look forward to.
Stop thinking your life is over. There are addicts in this world that trust me like using drugs A LOT more then you, and are able to go more than one day w/out thinking the world is gonna end from their drug use. You don't actually seem cut out for long term drug use in my honest opinion. Your personality in general seems awfully conservative. I just couldn't imagine you using this way a lot longer. You know drugs are the problem you just are never ready to do anything about it. But trust me when the years accumulate and accumulate things DO become unbearably real at some point and people DO wake up.
If you never plan on stopping then here are some things you might wanna become ok with:
Not having a bed to sleep in or a home to stay in.
Not having a single person who really cares about you or looks forward for when you come home.
Not having your health, spirit, or sanity.
Its a progression, a slow one, how long are you going to wait before you put your foot down?
You don't look for reasons to live THEN stop using drugs. You stop using drugs, and MAKE reasons
to live. How can you expect to actually have any reasons, when all you've been doing is using drugs in the first place? You can't, thats not how it works.
RavinRaphael
Bluelighter
I would never say my life is ruined. Maybe not going according to the way I imagined or planned, but never ruined. . . my .02
toothepastedog -My only options are go to a place in philly where id be around AA people all the time and kick cold turkey or kick on my own with subs/methadone/tramadol........................
Bo-I hear you and i dont wanna waste more of my life, ive wasted enough ................so im gonnna have to put my foot down . i was thinkin last nite i can do a taper like this with what i have
day 1 35 mg methadone
day 2 20 mg meth
3 15 mg meth
4 10 mg meth
5 6 trams
6 5 trams
7 a piece of a sub
then stop..................
Bo-I hear you and i dont wanna waste more of my life, ive wasted enough ................so im gonnna have to put my foot down . i was thinkin last nite i can do a taper like this with what i have
day 1 35 mg methadone
day 2 20 mg meth
3 15 mg meth
4 10 mg meth
5 6 trams
6 5 trams
7 a piece of a sub
then stop..................
DooMMooD
Bluelighter
You guys would all take the methadone? I'd take the suboxone. 40mg of sub vs 130mg of methadone? I feel like 130mg of methadone is not exactly a lot to use to detox, although perhaps thats wrong; ive never use methadone for any purposes (detox, maintenance, high, etc) and have only used suboxone or tapers of other drugs (oxy, morphine, tramadol as well, you all get it).
Anyway, I'd take the sub. I'd do (dosage daily):
8, 8, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, .5, .5, then finally end it all with .25 for 4 days.
I think this would work better than the 'done.
Edit; though to be honest, after reading a bit more, I think your best bet is long term medication assisted therapy. Try and get into a methadone clinic man, or a daily script of suboxone. I think long term this will solve a lot of the problems you are having (staying clean; on sub every day? you got no choice. same w/ 'done for the most part), allow you to save money and move on with your life without having to suffer the withdrawals (yet).
but be warned man everyones gonna have to go through them in some form (mental or physical) before the games over; you dont get to check in without checking out. Everyone else who has kicked has done it, why do you think you are any different? Why think you cant do it? Youre not special, youre just like every other addict who kicks: you got hooked and you can get clean. Youre not just special that you can get hooked but not clean, you can do both
Even the medication assisted treatments you still gotta overcome the mental aspect: you said youve quit the methadone before, correct? But you can overcome that obstacle; you can if for no other reason than like i've said: every other addict whos gone down that road has, why would you be different?
Anyway, I'd take the sub. I'd do (dosage daily):
8, 8, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, .5, .5, then finally end it all with .25 for 4 days.
I think this would work better than the 'done.
Edit; though to be honest, after reading a bit more, I think your best bet is long term medication assisted therapy. Try and get into a methadone clinic man, or a daily script of suboxone. I think long term this will solve a lot of the problems you are having (staying clean; on sub every day? you got no choice. same w/ 'done for the most part), allow you to save money and move on with your life without having to suffer the withdrawals (yet).
but be warned man everyones gonna have to go through them in some form (mental or physical) before the games over; you dont get to check in without checking out. Everyone else who has kicked has done it, why do you think you are any different? Why think you cant do it? Youre not special, youre just like every other addict who kicks: you got hooked and you can get clean. Youre not just special that you can get hooked but not clean, you can do both
Even the medication assisted treatments you still gotta overcome the mental aspect: you said youve quit the methadone before, correct? But you can overcome that obstacle; you can if for no other reason than like i've said: every other addict whos gone down that road has, why would you be different?
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well at moment it seems only person besides my sponser who is willing to help is my friend who has about 6 mnths. clean. he knows a place i can go and it is all related to a.a. they do have some good recovery there, i just dont know how id deal with the withdrawals since you have to go there and kick cold turkey, plus conditions are real rough (sleep on plywood, you cant even have a matress) i just think id end up leaving............I want real bad for some reason to tell my family what is going on but im so scared to hurt them again , and i know it would , but i think im almost at point where im gonna have to tell them or go to a place like that soon because i dont want to go on with this addiction .....................its eating me up
villian
Bluelighter
Kicking cold turkey with no mattress? What a shitty place to detox..
thanks guys , the crazy thing is my family may have some suspicions but they are so messed up with their own issues they honestly dont really know whats up ................i started to try to tell my father and he basically changed the subject like he is in denial, and then my mother is so messed up with her depression , and my grandmother is 89 so she doesnt understand so telling any of them is gonna be tough ..........that is why i keep thinkin if i can manage to kick at home it will save a lot of heartache with them but ive been tryin for so long now im startin to think its impossible........and im down to 8 ten mg methadones 5 suboxone and a lot of tramadols..............prob is even when i took like 40 mg methadone i still wanted to get dope real bad..............
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Truly GREAT advice! You have no idea how much I can relate... well, haha, sounds like you have the exact idea then again
After hiding my habit (successfully) from everyone short of dealers for three years, the fear of whatever impending change is truly a b*tch. It's all about support support support, as you say tho