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Getting clean for someone else...

It sounds like your using is noticeable enough, problem enough to prompt the ultimatum. Has your usage changed?

I'm with the other posters here who say that you are too young to give your life over to the drugs. A semester away from University is nothing compared with losing a decade of your life to addiction. It sounds like you have people who want to help you, but you have to want the help. There really is no long list of positives and negatives. It really isn't complex. There is only "drugs" versus "clean." Which one you label positive or negative is up to you. And btw, most addicts and drug dependents have a visceral "NO!" reaction to giving up their DOC. How much power do you want to give that feeling?
 
Make a pros and cons list for continuing to use. Try as hard as possible to be honest. Also, ask yourself if you see your life improving if you continue to use.

If you take care of this now, you will likely safe yourself unimaginable amounts of pain, guilt and shame. I don't know many addicts who do not have those. You are at a crossroads in many ways. You are right at the point where addictions starts to really take off for most people. That "not being ready to quit" is possibly denial and/or your addiction "defending its right to use". Quitting a coping mechanism is fucking scary. Of course you are going to cringe at the thought. Even when I wanted to quit (which I did for years) I fucking flipped out at the mere thought of going through withdrawal, let alone stopping completely. Now that I have though I actually have a choice to use or not use. If I do use again, that choice goes away. When I start, I cannot stop. As soon as I started, I could not stop. This is just starting to dawn on me now. Basically the last 15 years of my life was me living in complete and total addiction. Even when I was "just drinking and smoking" I was still an addict. A part of me always knew that I was going to go back to other stuff.

Everything I did had something to do with drugs (well almost everything). Example: Graduating Undergrad = get out of my parents house so I could really go party (coincidentally I always ended up back at my parents house broke and morally destroyed). I went to work ultimately in order to make money to buy drugs.

Also, school will be 50 million times easier (seriously) if you do it clean. I am in a Graduate Program right now and cannot emphasize how much better the quality of my work is and how much easier it is. Its almost unreal. I also have to point out that stopping using is the mere start of the whole thing. My addictive personalities act up daily in different ways now. Women, Sex, Clothes, Money, Pride, Attention from people (especially female attention), manipulation etc etc. Not saying I am constantly doing that, but I will honestly catch myself at work just fucking around with someone and realizing I am totally manipulating them and playing around with their mind because I can and/or am trying to get something from them. I did the same shit in my addiction.

Anyways, sorry to go off on a tangent. I actually have to do some writing on the last subject I wrote about.
 
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Long story short ive been clean 3 weeks now feel great hoping to keep getting stronger and happier.

Staring a few outpatient day program's from CBT to NA to drug and alcohol meetings.

Excercisig regularly, eating properly.

Enjoying a bit of pot every now and then, drinking heavily once a week (I've learnt that hangovers make me crave opiates intensely so I'm very careful.)

I don't wanna go into deep theorising or promises or claims or whatever...I'm clean today, and ill hopefully be clean from opiates the rest of my life.

Peace
 
^I'm attaching my hope to your hope. Work that CBT--it's good stuff once you integrate the tools it offers.<3
 
Thanks Herb, I appreciate your thoughts.

I can only start the programs on the 14th, and until then I'm just relying on inner strength and discipline to not use. It's been nearly a month now, and I don't want to count my chickens before the eggs hatch, but the cravings have abated day by day to the point they seem insignificant compared to the first few weeks.

Onwards and upwards.
 
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for me personally, its impossible to quit for someone else. i had to want to get sober this time around and have 3 months sober . i just got tired of the life. im 22 and been through a lot of shit over drugs. the cons outwayed the pros so im trying to get out of the game while im young. your parents care for you, but ultimately its up to you. you might not have been through to much trouble with drugs. but one day u might. not encouraging your use, but if your not done then your not done. good luck with whatever you decide to choose.
 
And no staying clean cannot be done for anyone except for myself. Well at least long term recovery.

Staying clean for my family provides huge motivation for me

Staying clean with my Girlfriend is a blessing, we walk the path next to each other but she won't keep me clean or vice versa. Plus us both being in recovery carries additional benefits and risks.

Staying clean for society and to repair the damage I caused is a huge motivation, but again not enough.

Only I can choose if I want to stay clean or not, and even when I do that, I still have to work a program to stay clean. Its not easy, but it is so worth it.

infectedmushroom said:
Enjoying a bit of pot every now and then, drinking heavily once a week (I've learnt that hangovers make me crave opiates intensely so I'm very careful.)
Click to expand...

Once I made the connection between "opiates stop hangover" then it was basically over for me. Please be careful with the booze and pot. I used to consider this "doing good" because I wasn't using other drugs. Eventually it was just a "breather" between runs. I am sure you have heard this before.

CBT and DBT rule, if people want me to expand on this more I can. I won't even charge you for it (unlike all the damn money I paid to "learn" it at my Grad school, not that I am bitter or anything lol)
 
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