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Getting a girlfriend

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psytaco

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 20, 2005
Messages
1,673
Location
Melbourne, Aus
I've made a few new years resolutions and although most are to do with getting healthier, one is that I would like to get a serious girlfriend.

Although I am not a model, many women consider me to be quite handsome. I'm tall, have a muscular build and a decent face. I think I dress well enough. I'm aiming to get back the really good physique that I used to have. I have been on antidepressant for a year but am tapering off it as it caused me to put on 8-10kg. Not enough that you would look at me and think I was fat but enough to give me some slight love handles and lose the muscular definition I used to have (I used to have a six pack). I have several university degrees and have a decent job. I'm pretty good at talking to women and flirting.

I'm 28.

Until a week ago, I lived in a small town and there were virtually no single women close to my age. So apart from dating a girl for a month (who lived in Melbourne) at the start of the year, I have pretty much had no sex or dates since May.

All my previous girlfriends have started as a one night stand from a bar. However, I feel that this is not the best way to meet women. I'm trying to cut drastically back on my substance use and save money, so going to bars/nightclubs all the time is probably not the best thing.

So does anyone have any tips on how to meet women who would make great partners? I don't have any single female friends that I would be interested in dating. At my new job there were quite a few girls my age who are attractive but dating at work can be problematic. Apart from going to the gym, I don't have any hobbies that allow me to meet others. I am wanting to get back into boxing and muay thai but that is generally something that men tend to go too.

What I'm looking for:
Intelligence is a big turn on for me. In fact, it was probably the trait I find most attractive in a woman. Also, someone who is compassionate, caring, interesting and open minded. I do love tall, tanned brunettes but I have dated and slept with woman of many different races and appearances. Good sex is also great (although it is not like you can tell if someone is good in bed until you actually sleep with them). I am a bit picky when it comes to girlfriends.

Any other suggestions on how to go about this?
 
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I'm in the same boat. I do well at bars too, but I don't really meet the kinds of girls I want to date long-term there. Certain concerts may have girls your age, but how often can you go to them and you would also need friends to go there with, so that's really a once or twice a year option. That leaves us with the supermarket and the library, if you really want to strike gold with the more mature type.
 
the best way to meet people, in my opinion, is through mutual acquaintances. The last 3 girls I've dated have all been introduced through friends and workmates, just put the word out that you're on the prowl and looking to meet people and hopefully someone comes to the party.
 
Honestly, all the times I actually met someone who ended up being a real girlfriend, was when I was totally not looking for it.

You can't go out of your way or force it, in my opinion. It kind of has to happen naturally.
 
look is only half the story,how is your game and work? i look good,but i am broke ass beta male that was bullied by everybody whole life,i cant maintain eye contact,talk in retarded submisive high pitched voice
 
two points stick out:

* if you've been through several relationships and none of them have worked out very well, you might want to consider looking for the common element in those relationships, because that may be the problem.

* if you don't participate in any regular social activities but drinking, then you won't meet people who participate in any regular social activities but drinking. Is there anything else you like to do?

Tommyboy said:
That leaves us with the supermarket and the library, if you really want to strike gold with the more mature type
Click to expand...

What I learned from this is that there are three places in the world where humans go: bars, supermarkets, and libraries.
 
DOB said:
look is only half the story,how is your game and work? i look good,but i am broke ass beta male that was bullied by everybody whole life,i cant maintain eye contact,talk in retarded submisive high pitched voice
Click to expand...

In terms of 'game': I can talk and flirt with women no problems, regardless of how attractive they are. I also don't have much problem sleeping with women or getting their numbers. I'm sure I could be better but it's not something I struggle with. In terms of work, I have a job that helps the community and that people deem respectable, that pays about the same as most people my age earn. So I have money but I am not definitely not rolling in it.
 
I get the part about the intelligence. Most women I meet are like one who shouts at what hears nothing but calls and cries cattle or sheep - deaf, dumb and blind, so they do not understand. After you leave her you feel like you forgot something...you let the cum in there, like leaving your keys in a lock, dumb as a doorknob they make themselves useless to you.
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
Honestly, all the times I actually met someone who ended up being a real girlfriend, was when I was totally not looking for it.

You can't go out of your way or force it, in my opinion. It kind of has to happen naturally.
Click to expand...
i tend to agree with this. for me, finding somebody compatible and creating a relationship with them has always been a side-effect of other activities, not the end in and of itself.

i.e devote time to becoming the right person instead of finding the right person.

:)

alasdair
 
Felonious Monk said:
Have you considered online dating? It used to be passé but hey, you're on an internet forum already.
Click to expand...

I have tried it before and I must say that I found it to be pretty disappointing. There were not many attractive girls on there and plenty of the girls that I significantly lowered my standards for did not respond to messages. I mean I guess that is the nature of the beast. That said, most of the dates I went on were sort of awkward and there was no way of knowing before you go on the date if you have chemistry.

I tend to have a lot more success at a bar or nightclub as I don't mind talking to random people and will talk to girls that catch my eye. I found this kind of ironic because I always thought online dating was meant to be easier than meeting people IRL.

At least with meet someone in person first (be it at a bar, through friends, hobby etc.) you have at least made the first impressions that you like one another, are attracted and there may be some chemistry.

So yeah, so far I haven't thought much of online dating and it isn't utilised as heavily in Australia as it seems to be in the US. That said, this tinder thing is quite popular at the moment and might be worth a try (even if just for curiosity).
 
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alasdairm said:
i tend to agree with this. for me, finding somebody compatible and creating a relationship with them has always been a side-effect of other activities, not the end in and of itself.

i.e devote time to becoming the right person instead of finding the right person.

:)

alasdair
Click to expand...

I do partially agree with this. That said, I think being proactive and actually making the effort to talk to women that you find attractive/interesting in these activities increases your chances. Being a wall flower doesn't often get you far.

As for hobbies - this is something I need to improve on. I don't really have any, unless you count socialising with friends, going to the odd gig/bar/club, or going to the gym (which I find is a very solitary activity). I want to get back into martial arts, but that isn't generally a mecca for women.

I also like travelling, cooking, reading, music and watching movies. I'm interested in politics, psychology, current affairs etc. Any ideas for hobbies that incorporate these. I'd be happy for just some extra hobbies, not just as an avenue to meet women.
 
psytaco said:
I want to get back into martial arts, but that isn't generally a mecca for women.
Click to expand...

For me it works well, I'm an expert in Nunchaku which mostly involves kicking and handling the weapon itself. The advantage of Nunchaku is that it looks very cool and flashy to an innocent observer. Once you learn it just pick a set of stainless steel ones or aluminum to make sure she can't learn it without dying first lol and then watching you do it will be a good sight inviting for sex.

My girlfriend often came suck my dick after watching me train, I told her why do you humble yourself sucking my dick like that? She said that watching me do nunchaku moves was a turn-on lol. If she's a control freak with an induced sense of female superiority she will hate it but what man would domesticate such an annoying life partner other then a sissy jerk-off?
 
Ksa said:
For me it works well, I'm an expert in Nunchaku which mostly involves kicking and handling the weapon itself. The advantage of Nunchaku is that it looks very cool and flashy to an innocent observer. Once you learn it just pick a set of stainless steel ones or aluminum to make sure she can't learn it without dying first lol and then watching you do it will be a good sight inviting for sex.

My girlfriend often came suck my dick after watching me train, I told her why do you humble yourself sucking my dick like that? She said that watching me do nunchaku moves was a turn-on lol. If she's a control freak with an induced sense of female superiority she will hate it but what man would domesticate such an annoying life partner other then a sissy jerk-off?
Click to expand...


Yeah, man.. everyone knows the best way to pick up chics is to bust out a pair of nunchuks... Haha. 8(
 
psytaco said:
In terms of 'game': I can talk and flirt with women no problems, regardless of how attractive they are. I also don't have much problem sleeping with women or getting their numbers. I'm sure I could be better but it's not something I struggle with. In terms of work, I have a job that helps the community and that people deem respectable, that pays about the same as most people my age earn. So I have money but I am not definitely not rolling in it.
Click to expand...

that sounds good,u will have good life :)
 
i have found internet dating to be a huge gamble

lots of dodgy dates but a few good FWB situations, 1 relationship

but in real life you have so much more chance of a positive response from the connection that real talking provides
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
Yeah, man.. everyone knows the best way to pick up chics is to bust out a pair of nunchuks... Haha. 8(
Click to expand...

Who told you it was to pick up chicks? It's once you picked her up and she lives with you in the house that she can witness those routines of yours during the day. If you bring a steel Nunchaku outside your home you'll end up jailed lol, it's worst than a gun.
 
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