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Funny or Embarrassing sexual experiences

barnstable84

barnstable84

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Messages
207
Location
victoria, australia
I thought it might be fun to create a post for us all to share our funniest sexual experiences and even discussing our most embarrassing experience.


I'll go first :)

There are more than one funny experience and the ones that stand out the most are:

*Having sex on a school oval at night and the sprinklers come on, drenching my guy at the time and the big doona/duvet blanket we took to lay on.
*Getting busted doing it on the bonnet of my teacher's class (with the same guy as the school oval)
* Being busted while being tied up by my little brothers best friend. I think that kid was scarred for life.

My embarrassing stories are:
*Saying the wrong name
* Being busted by my fiancees dad. We thought we had the house to ourselves, so we were being as loud as we wanted, which meant we were damn loud. Then we hear a knock on the bedroom door, then he walked straight in. I still feel embarrassed and it was 6 years ago!

Another embarrassment of mine that wasn't really sexual, but a guy I had a crush on for a few years rocked up to my house with a mutual friend and he had 3 bottles of alcohol to make Quick Fuck shots and made a drinking game up. When you're doing shots, it doesn't take long for you to be hammered. I get up from the floor, mid game, and walk to the bathroom to vomit and my crush came to check on me and then points to my cheek and says "ew!"

Yes, I had vomit on my face! He left not long after the incident and he never spoke to me again!
 
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Oops! Typo. I meant his CAR, not CLASS.. Geez, i'm stupid!

My brothers best friend walked into the room while I was in the middle of stuff with my ex boyfriend. He needed to ask me a question and just walked straight in without knocking.
 
Anal sex while I was on MDMA. It was nice at first, but ended in disaster. 8o
 
I can laugh about this now, but at the time, I was semi-mortified of the situation.

I randomly hooked up with a guy some time ago. We agreed to meet up at a neutral place and he requested me to wear provocative undergarments, which was fine. He, too, did the same and decided to wear mesh underwear. I soon learned after that how turned off by that sort of thing I was. When we got down to business, he was going down on me, and I seriously felt I was undergoing a gynecological exam with his comments and "observations". I don't recall specifics of what was said, but I did feel really embarrassed and semi-self conscious for a while. :|
 
Rogue Robot said:
I can laugh about this now, but at the time, I was semi-mortified of the situation.

I randomly hooked up with a guy some time ago. We agreed to meet up at a neutral place and he requested me to wear provocative undergarments, which was fine. He, too, did the same and decided to wear mesh underwear. I soon learned after that how turned off by that sort of thing I was. When we got down to business, he was going down on me, and I seriously felt I was undergoing a gynecological exam with his comments and "observations". I don't recall specifics of what was said, but I did feel really embarrassed and semi-self conscious for a while. :|
Click to expand...

Ha, maybe he was a doctor?

Anyway here's mine. So I'm naked in bed with a girl, and she owns a dog who sleeps usually on the foot of the bed with her. Needless to say the dog sheds a little and there's dog hair pretty much everywhere. So I'm excited and we have the lights out and she starts going down on me. I'm thinking, "score!" then not two seconds later i hear "ugh" and she starts spitting. So I'm thinking what the hell is going on, I clean meticulously and I can't taste that bad. Then I think about the dog hair...turns out a bunch of it had stuck to the head and she got a mouth full of dog hair. We had a good laugh about it though.
 
I tried to have sex with my boyfriend while we were tripping on mushrooms, and we couldn't do it because I couldn't stop laughing... not at anything in particular... just cuz sex is funny. :)

Oh and a lot of my graduating class watched me (door was cracked open) take a mormon's virginity in a hot tub senior year of high school. Heehee.

My boyfriend's little sister walked in on us doin the deed... She shoulda knocked...
 
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One of the only times I ever had sex on a water bed. It was under-filled and old, so it sloshed around everytime anyone so much as THOUGHT about moving. Finally, after much experimentation, we find a way to make things work. I've the side of the bed gripped firmly in my hands, the water is slamming back and forth, we're having a great time ... and her Siamese cat decides I need to know who is boss. The cat rakes her claws down both my hands, I let go of the bed in pain, and the next wave slams my head into the wooden edge. Needless to say, that was the last time we had sex at her house.
 
Nice, guys! I wouldn't say its really embarrassing, but trying to have sex while my fiancee and I were completely fucked up on smacky pills was funny. It just wasnt working for either of us because all we wanted to do is talk and connect mentally, like you do when you're e'd off your face.
 
When I was a freshman in college, like many students my bed was lofted. Not all the way like the top bunk of bunk beds, but pretty high off the ground - way more so than a normal bed.

So one night I was having sex with this guy, and having been out of the dorms for quite some time he had forgotten how small the beds are, and totally spaced that mine was so high off the ground. He rolled off of me and completely rolled off the side of the bed, flat onto his back on the ground. It knocked the wind out of him and I couldn't help but laugh. Funny, but completely killed the mood.
 
Haha, there are some good ones here! Mine's gotta be having sex with a friend in this girl's bed, we weren't attracted to each other but we decided to do it just because she specifically asked us not to have sex in her bed... we were fucked on something or other and we kept at it for a while, then his brother (who was actually quite hot) came into the room and... well... took over! After a while they swapped again. What the hell, even though I don't think I'll be having a 3some with brothers again, it's a bit too... incestuous.

Another one was having sex with this guy on the dunes and as we're getting hot and heavy hearing children playing nearby. We just went quiet till they were gone then finished the job!
 
was having anal with a ex of mine... pulled out she farted and pooped a little on my dick, her face was priceless... I keep a straight face took and shower, than got my dick sucked
 
^ lol, poor girl.

One night with an old hookup-buddy mine stands out in my mind. We were both sloppy and wasted as fuck, but I was definently the drunker one of the two... we're standing outside at a party having a cig, when out of nowhere, I just attacked his face with probably the grossest, sloppiest kiss ever known to man. We stumble to my bedroom, start doing our thing, and then we both roll over and fall off the side of the bed into the wall!! We kinda laugh it off then keep going, when all of a sudden I feel like I'm going to vomit. I try to push him off, and he's not getting the picture. After a few minutes, I just scream, "Andrew, I'm going to barf!"..... um, problem was, his name was not Andrew... I start appologizing profusely, and then precede to run into the bathroom and hurl my guts up. Needless to say, when I get back to my room, he's gone, and left in such a hurry that he forgot his shirt and keys!!!
 
My girl and I were at the local Pet Store.
We went into the bathroom to have some "fun", we get in and lock the door.
She starts sucking me and a few minutes later.
BLAAAHHHH she pukes all over my dick and crotch.
It was chocolate brown liquid all over my junk and all over my pants.
We didn't finish, but we ran out of the bathroom and thru the store with everyone staring.

Good Times
 
ThaiDie4 said:
^ lol, poor girl.

One night with an old hookup-buddy mine stands out in my mind. We were both sloppy and wasted as fuck, but I was definently the drunker one of the two... we're standing outside at a party having a cig, when out of nowhere, I just attacked his face with probably the grossest, sloppiest kiss ever known to man. We stumble to my bedroom, start doing our thing, and then we both roll over and fall off the side of the bed into the wall!! We kinda laugh it off then keep going, when all of a sudden I feel like I'm going to vomit. I try to push him off, and he's not getting the picture. After a few minutes, I just scream, "Andrew, I'm going to barf!"..... um, problem was, his name was not Andrew... I start appologizing profusely, and then precede to run into the bathroom and hurl my guts up. Needless to say, when I get back to my room, he's gone, and left in such a hurry that he forgot his shirt and keys!!!
Click to expand...

epic!
 
yes... these are awesome.. keep 'em coming :)

I have minimal funny/embarrassing stories, lol, I've had my gag reflex triggered a few times but I've always managed to keep from spilling any of my guts out... hehe..
also a parking attendant watched me & my first b/f get hot and heavy in a car park in the early hours of the morning... us not figuring it out until after the fact... but that was more perverted than anything else, lol
 
deadhead507461 said:
My girl and I were at the local Pet Store.
We went into the bathroom to have some "fun", we get in and lock the door.
She starts sucking me and a few minutes later.
BLAAAHHHH she pukes all over my dick and crotch.
It was chocolate brown liquid all over my junk and all over my pants.
We didn't finish, but we ran out of the bathroom and thru the store with everyone staring.

Good Times
Click to expand...

Same thing happened to me, except we were at her house, not in the bathroom of a pet store haha.
 
I've used being too drunk to fuck as an excuse to get out of sex with a guy who was TERRIBLE in bed.. I told him the motions of it were making me want to puke. He was a good friend, but a terrible lay.
 
My ex and I were having sex and I was on top. He wanted to smack my ass, but obviously misjudged the timing...and slapped himself in the balls!! He threw me off of him and rolled onto the floor, writhing in pain. I couldn't stop laughing at him!

One time we were having sex in my car in the parking lot of our job. We were getting really into it when all of a sudden we heard this loud thump...One of our coworkers figured out what was going on and tried to sneak up on us...but was laughing so hard she tripped and fell into the side of my car! Needless to say, we all got a good laugh out of that one.

This one is slightly off topic, but still funny. My ex and I had just finished having sex in my car (again). He was on work release at the time, so he had to ride a bike to and from work. So he's riding his bike, but looking back and saying goodbye to me, blowing kisses, etc. He was riding behind a hedge, so all I saw was his head anyways...and then I didn't see him anymore. He rode his bike right into a telephone pole!

Poor guy. I laugh alot at his expense now.
 
i lol'ed at several of these. :D

the only embarrassing thing that i can recall (more than once i believe) is trumpeting a beautifully bellowed fart right as i am orgasming.
 
LOL

I really don't have any embarassing moments, wish I did.

Lots of funny times with drunk sex :)
 
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