Strangers with Candy
Jerri Blank: I'm Jerri Blank and my daddy's in a coma.
Grief Counselor Peggy Callas: You know what, Jerri? I wish my daddy was in a coma. He's dead, Jerri. He was executed for war crimes, but for insurance purposes, we say he was eaten by wolves. Anyway, my point is Jerri, somebody's always got it worse.
Freddy Got Fingered
(whilst wanking off a horse)
Gord Brody: Look, Daddy, I'm a farmer.
Serial Mom
Dottie Hinkle: Hello?
Beverly Sutphin: Is this the Cocksucker residence?
Dottie Hinkle: God damn you! Stop calling here!
Beverly Sutphin: Is this 4215 Pussy Way?
Dottie Hinkle: You bitch!
Beverly Sutphin: Now let me check the zip code. Two-one-two-fuck-you?
Dottie Hinkle: The police are tracing this call this very minute.
Beverly Sutphin: Well, Dottie Hinkle, then why aren't they here, huh, fuckface?
Dottie Hinkle: FUCK YOU!
[hangs up]
Beverly Sutphin: Bwaahahahaha!
[immediately calls her back]
Dottie Hinkle: DIDN'T I JUST SAY FUCK YOU?
Beverly Sutphin: [in a different voice] I beg your pardon?
Dottie Hinkle: Who is this?
Beverly Sutphin: Mrs. Wilson from the telephone company. We understand you're having some trouble with an obscene phone caller?
Dottie Hinkle Oh Mrs. Wilson, I'm so sorry. These calls are driving me crazy! I've had my number changed twice already. I'm a divorced woman, please help me.
Beverly Sutphin: Well what exactly does this sick individual say to you?
Dottie Hinkle: I can't say the words out loud, I don't use bad language.
Beverly Sutphin: Oh yes I know it's difficult but we need to know the exact words.
Dottie Hinkle: I'll try. COCKSUCKER, that's what she calls me.
Beverly Sutphin: [reverting to the original voice] LISTEN TO YOUR FILTHY MOUTH, YA FUCKIN WHORE!
Dottie Hinkle: GODDAMN YOU!
Beverly Sutphin: MOTHERFUCKER!
Dottie Hinkle: COCKSUCKER!
Jerri Blank: I'm Jerri Blank and my daddy's in a coma.
Grief Counselor Peggy Callas: You know what, Jerri? I wish my daddy was in a coma. He's dead, Jerri. He was executed for war crimes, but for insurance purposes, we say he was eaten by wolves. Anyway, my point is Jerri, somebody's always got it worse.
Freddy Got Fingered
(whilst wanking off a horse)
Gord Brody: Look, Daddy, I'm a farmer.
Serial Mom
Dottie Hinkle: Hello?
Beverly Sutphin: Is this the Cocksucker residence?
Dottie Hinkle: God damn you! Stop calling here!
Beverly Sutphin: Is this 4215 Pussy Way?
Dottie Hinkle: You bitch!
Beverly Sutphin: Now let me check the zip code. Two-one-two-fuck-you?
Dottie Hinkle: The police are tracing this call this very minute.
Beverly Sutphin: Well, Dottie Hinkle, then why aren't they here, huh, fuckface?
Dottie Hinkle: FUCK YOU!
[hangs up]
Beverly Sutphin: Bwaahahahaha!
[immediately calls her back]
Dottie Hinkle: DIDN'T I JUST SAY FUCK YOU?
Beverly Sutphin: [in a different voice] I beg your pardon?
Dottie Hinkle: Who is this?
Beverly Sutphin: Mrs. Wilson from the telephone company. We understand you're having some trouble with an obscene phone caller?
Dottie Hinkle Oh Mrs. Wilson, I'm so sorry. These calls are driving me crazy! I've had my number changed twice already. I'm a divorced woman, please help me.
Beverly Sutphin: Well what exactly does this sick individual say to you?
Dottie Hinkle: I can't say the words out loud, I don't use bad language.
Beverly Sutphin: Oh yes I know it's difficult but we need to know the exact words.
Dottie Hinkle: I'll try. COCKSUCKER, that's what she calls me.
Beverly Sutphin: [reverting to the original voice] LISTEN TO YOUR FILTHY MOUTH, YA FUCKIN WHORE!
Dottie Hinkle: GODDAMN YOU!
Beverly Sutphin: MOTHERFUCKER!
Dottie Hinkle: COCKSUCKER!
