fucking fuck

another fucking blog to bitch about what i cant help. another fucking time that this is the only way for me to get what's inside out. everyone's sick of hearing me bitch about it. nobody wants to hear the same thing over and over. people say i should just accept this for how it is. people grow up without fathers all the time. what makes this situation so important? BECAUSE IT'S MALAURA'S FUCKING SITUATION AND I DONT DEAL WITH OTHER PEOPLES SHIT. fuck everyone saying that other people have issues and that malaura's isnt new.

i know i get all bent out of shape because of my dad. that i take this personally because i miss mine but i dot give a shit. i know how important a father is. i know how much it hurts when he's not there. but what i dont know is how much it hurts to know that he's not there because he just doesnt want to be. i cant imagine how horrible and rejected she must feel on account of that. it makes me sick. my only hope is that she doesnt make that connection. i tell her he loves her and that he misses her, that he's working really hard and it's hard for him to pick her up. i have to lie to my daughter to protect her feelings. i have to lie to my daughter.

i want to tell her sometimes. only because i dont want her growing up with false hopes. but im scared that it would hurt her more than help her. i dont know what to do.

i fucking hate him
i fucking hate everything about him
he doesnt deserve her
he should be castrated
he should be castrated and then forced to eat his own
his face should be curb stomped
his life should fail before his eyes
he should have nothing
and be alive forever to live in misery

 

He'll have to live his life never knowing how amazing his daughter is, and perhaps someday when he deigns to have something to do with her, he'll have to hear from her that he's not welcome. It'll happen, and hopefully it'll be devastating.

 

^I agree with Dave.......

I read your posts and I get angry for you-
I imagine the pain and frustration is much greater than I could understand, not being a parent myself- but I truly feel for you and your baby.
Just trust that what goes around comes around.

 

Firstly, I think you’re making good use of your blog and if people don’t like what they read then that’s more of an issue for them, if it’s helping you to vent how you feel then that’s a good thing and it would certainly be something I’d encourage.

IMO I think it’s important to trust in what we do, believe in ourselves and that what we do is always right at that time, try not to look back with regret cos that just eats away at us.
Love yourself and those around you and stuff everyone else.

 

You already know my feelings on this. You're both wonderful and deserve better. Neither of you need him to be happy.