6/28/09
The n ternal dialogue went somethin like this, "dude wot do u MEAN by caln him 4 a teenager? U were sposed 2 get LESS not MORE, Hello!" "yea but this is my last 3 day wkend 4 awhile! Sides, u sed u want 2 c him 1x/wk only, so this wk u did" "i meant 4 u 2 BUY a &60 bag only 1x a wk, NOT 2 go out a buy twice as much u fiend! Dude i thot we agred 4 days off an last 2 wks u only managed ONE. u act like a dam drug addict or somethin." "lol. Funny. I am a drug addict. Proly splains y im actn like 1." "yea haha, but seriously woman, ur getn urself n deepr an deepr. Rich is a
good name 4 ur new dealer. He certainly is that with the way uve ben spendn $." "i no. I no. Its getn hardr an hardr 2 stay away from the shit. Hard 2 stop, but yea i think im n trouble.." Last dude told me he chargd 140 a teen but wud let me have fo 130. I heard myself ask R 2 nite ago the price 4 a teen. Was hapy 2 no 120 normaly but this x good shit 130. Fuck it il buy it. This guy moves around more often than a teenage star fuckr groupy on speed! Once again had 2 c him @ location #894, rarely same place twice. "hey it beats losn 1/2 ur shit + spendn more $ w fukn Don + getn ripd off 2 boot!" "no arguement ther" i
sed back 2 myself. I was hapy, as hookn up w the dopeman always has + associations. Just like the drug den always has even when i visitd them clean. Pleasant assoc wil always acompany dealers, drug houses i livd in + the friends i got loaded w, specialy aimee and linda. I was the 1st cust brite an early an afterward did grocerie shopn. Best time 4 me 2 shop 4 food is on speed coz i only buy wot i need not shopn while hungry. I get home, of corse i had 2 try it. True 2 his word, it was betr stuf, i cud feel it even thru high tolerance. I 8 a good AM meal, shit kild aptite 4 n e thin sides a Slim Fast shake an vitamins. Didnt slep a hole lot eithr, had a fun day. Gona crash wen i get home 2day tho and yea i got 2 cut the fuck back next mo, hope i manage but gona try..did erik get my card?
6/29/09From cell @ work
After work, i went straight 2 bed. I new 8 hrs sleep wud do me good an it did. I didnt do any shit until after i 8 a good dinner, then I had 1 fix only 4 energy an attitude 2 work 4 the nite. I felt the hit, but doin just 1 feels like 2 expressos felt when i was clean. Other than that, i left my shit alone 4 and until the next AM after work 4 the real fun 2 b gin. Heard from Erik, sed he got my card an Tina arrived. Hope he thot she was good.
Sometimes a card from him or 2 him britens the receivers day. Am glad i got those pesky CPR and trafic classes b hind me. I actuly acomplishd alot n May, now work is hel bent on givn us these anoyn courses an tests by mail, that ive seriously lagd on. 4 me the beauty of a 3 an 1/2 day chem fest is the fun, fun, fun til its time 2 go back 2 wk. Its ben great last wk, no n ter up tions, but durn my party fests, 4 me everythin else is put on hold 2 do wot i do best, creating/composn an livn n my own
world coz my n tire life, thats wher an when im @ my hapiest. Ive noticd 2 that while i can stil get horny on the shit, the thot of hookn up w pot sex partner just isnt apeln 2 me n e more. Johnny from the drug den cals every so often, like 2nite wantn 2 no if i wil hang with him @ wotevr motel hes @ 4 the nite promisn shit an hopn 4 sex, lol. N a way, if i WAS as horny like a couple mo ago, it wud b betr 2 go 4 1 of the guys n the drug den
nstead of takn a chance w n ter viewn various strangers off a web site. At least i no wot im getn, but actuly meetn dudes i dont no makes me more anxious an les horny. No 1 wants 2 talk on line 1st 4 a few wks n e more, guys want 2 meet asap and then want 2 no wen they can fuck u. That rite ther ruins the mood 4 me and prety much spoils n e chance of them getn me n the sack. If only they wud stop the presure, kick back, chil on the sex isue, the more likely he'd get laid w me n e way. Sucks that LA and present datn scene moves a bit 2 fast 4 me.
The n ternal dialogue went somethin like this, "dude wot do u MEAN by caln him 4 a teenager? U were sposed 2 get LESS not MORE, Hello!" "yea but this is my last 3 day wkend 4 awhile! Sides, u sed u want 2 c him 1x/wk only, so this wk u did" "i meant 4 u 2 BUY a &60 bag only 1x a wk, NOT 2 go out a buy twice as much u fiend! Dude i thot we agred 4 days off an last 2 wks u only managed ONE. u act like a dam drug addict or somethin." "lol. Funny. I am a drug addict. Proly splains y im actn like 1." "yea haha, but seriously woman, ur getn urself n deepr an deepr. Rich is a
good name 4 ur new dealer. He certainly is that with the way uve ben spendn $." "i no. I no. Its getn hardr an hardr 2 stay away from the shit. Hard 2 stop, but yea i think im n trouble.." Last dude told me he chargd 140 a teen but wud let me have fo 130. I heard myself ask R 2 nite ago the price 4 a teen. Was hapy 2 no 120 normaly but this x good shit 130. Fuck it il buy it. This guy moves around more often than a teenage star fuckr groupy on speed! Once again had 2 c him @ location #894, rarely same place twice. "hey it beats losn 1/2 ur shit + spendn more $ w fukn Don + getn ripd off 2 boot!" "no arguement ther" i
sed back 2 myself. I was hapy, as hookn up w the dopeman always has + associations. Just like the drug den always has even when i visitd them clean. Pleasant assoc wil always acompany dealers, drug houses i livd in + the friends i got loaded w, specialy aimee and linda. I was the 1st cust brite an early an afterward did grocerie shopn. Best time 4 me 2 shop 4 food is on speed coz i only buy wot i need not shopn while hungry. I get home, of corse i had 2 try it. True 2 his word, it was betr stuf, i cud feel it even thru high tolerance. I 8 a good AM meal, shit kild aptite 4 n e thin sides a Slim Fast shake an vitamins. Didnt slep a hole lot eithr, had a fun day. Gona crash wen i get home 2day tho and yea i got 2 cut the fuck back next mo, hope i manage but gona try..did erik get my card?
6/29/09From cell @ work
After work, i went straight 2 bed. I new 8 hrs sleep wud do me good an it did. I didnt do any shit until after i 8 a good dinner, then I had 1 fix only 4 energy an attitude 2 work 4 the nite. I felt the hit, but doin just 1 feels like 2 expressos felt when i was clean. Other than that, i left my shit alone 4 and until the next AM after work 4 the real fun 2 b gin. Heard from Erik, sed he got my card an Tina arrived. Hope he thot she was good.
Sometimes a card from him or 2 him britens the receivers day. Am glad i got those pesky CPR and trafic classes b hind me. I actuly acomplishd alot n May, now work is hel bent on givn us these anoyn courses an tests by mail, that ive seriously lagd on. 4 me the beauty of a 3 an 1/2 day chem fest is the fun, fun, fun til its time 2 go back 2 wk. Its ben great last wk, no n ter up tions, but durn my party fests, 4 me everythin else is put on hold 2 do wot i do best, creating/composn an livn n my own
world coz my n tire life, thats wher an when im @ my hapiest. Ive noticd 2 that while i can stil get horny on the shit, the thot of hookn up w pot sex partner just isnt apeln 2 me n e more. Johnny from the drug den cals every so often, like 2nite wantn 2 no if i wil hang with him @ wotevr motel hes @ 4 the nite promisn shit an hopn 4 sex, lol. N a way, if i WAS as horny like a couple mo ago, it wud b betr 2 go 4 1 of the guys n the drug den
nstead of takn a chance w n ter viewn various strangers off a web site. At least i no wot im getn, but actuly meetn dudes i dont no makes me more anxious an les horny. No 1 wants 2 talk on line 1st 4 a few wks n e more, guys want 2 meet asap and then want 2 no wen they can fuck u. That rite ther ruins the mood 4 me and prety much spoils n e chance of them getn me n the sack. If only they wud stop the presure, kick back, chil on the sex isue, the more likely he'd get laid w me n e way. Sucks that LA and present datn scene moves a bit 2 fast 4 me.