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First time use, will I get depression after this?

EP158207

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 12, 2013
Messages
585
Location
London
Hello,

Around 1pm I took 84mg of MDMA, by 5pm the high had come and gone, and now I feel normal, but a little melancholy. I ate a heavy meal before I took the crystals, and I took mg supplements before, during and after the high. I have also eaten some snacks and dinner (good, solid food).

What are the chances of me developing depression from this one time use of MDMA?

I probably wont ever do it again, as I don't like feeling THAT happy and out of control. At the time it felt amazing, but in hindsight it seems a bit excessive. Plus my jaw hurts, not too much but there is a tightness to it.
 
Doesn't sound like you had very pure MDMA, but either way the probability of you developing depression or any lasting psychological problem is probably about zero.
 
Very, very, very, very, very, very unlikely. 84mg of MDMA isn't even a very high dose. I haven't experienced any depression in 2 & half years of taking doses nearer 120-200mg across the evening.

Relax.

I don't like feeling THAT happy and out of control

Well shit, you're the first person I've met that doesn't like feeling really happy... Haha! Out of control is something I don't associate with MDMA. I feel very in control of my actions, I'm just uninhibited. Are you sure this was MDMA?
 
Since you said it was your first time using the substance, I would say you'll probably feel almost back to 100% in a day or two! Get some supplements to help!
 
Thanks for the responses everyone.

Its nice to be reassured that i haven;t done lasting damage. I did drink about 1.5L of water thorughout the whole time, because I was scared of overheating. Although I wasn't in a club, just sat at home listening to music. Music never has, or will it ever sound THAT good.

Ha, I'm more of a take gabapentin, lyrica or benzos and relax kind of gal, so this lack of inhibitions and laughing at nothing and marvelling at my own nails and make up was a bit ridiculous to me. I was happy, but without reason!

Well, it looked like brown sugar and tasted bitter, when i did a quick allergy test so I assume it was MDMA.
 
Well, it looked like brown sugar and tasted bitter, when i did a quick allergy test so I assume it was MDMA.

That's no way to tell you that's it MDMA. There are substances that mimc the effects, looks similar, and tastes bad as well. Only way to tell is with a test kit.
 
I did drink about 1.5L of water thorughout the whole time, because I was scared of overheating

I remember when I used to worry about that too. The reality is, MDMA raises body temperature similar to moderate exercise. 500-1000ml is more than enough across an evening, unless you're taking very high doses and/or exercising really hard (dancing vigorously etc).

I was happy, but without reason

That's kinda what it does! Were you alone? If you were you missed out on a big, big part of the MDMA experience, sharing those warm, fuzzy happy feelings with others around you!

Well, it looked like brown sugar and tasted bitter, when i did a quick allergy test so I assume it was MDMA.

A flawed assumption. The physical properties of a crystal cannot pinpoint what drug it is - numerous crystal drugs share very similar physical properties. I've received all sorts of different colours of MDMA, in different shapes and sizes. If you ever consider trying it again, purchase one of these first.

Welcome to BL BTW!
 
Yes, proper harm reduction would have been testing a sample, but as I was just given it and I didn't want to wait to use it, reasoning went out the window. I don't normally like street drugs for the very reason of purity, but having heard so much about MDMA/molly etc as of late, it became a little too tempting. Fingers crossed it was MDMA and nothing too bad.

(Thanks for the welcome! but I'm almost a year old in BL light years!)
 
Everything the OP has described sounds exactly like 84 mg of mdma. You shouldnt feel depressed at all if you took that small of a dose and it was your first time. :)
 
Everything the OP has described sounds exactly like 84 mg of mdma

Except for the melancholy... I rarely get depressed or melancholic even after years of rolling, only when I break some 'rule' will I get slight depression. But in the beginning, no matter what dose I did, no matter how frequent I rolled, I always had an afterglow. I would never have been able to feel melancholic, not right after the roll and not the next day either. I assume this is the case for almost everyone, that's why I find it a bit strange the OP felt melancholy. But then again everyone is different, so who's to say? Next time test your stuff indeed OP, testkits are really cheap and easy to get so there's no reason whatsoever to not buy one...

And more on point: No you will not get depressed if you weren't already before, don't worry :\
 
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Just to reiterate what's already been said, the chances of developing depression after a first time use at low dose has little to no chance of becoming an issue.
I will however say that my first time (and still every once in a while these days) I will miss the rolling feeling for a day or two afterward, which can have that small melancholy effect.
Chances are, since you weren't the biggest fan of mdma, that you're just feeling a tad hungover, and it should pass very soon (:
 
Okay just as an update and conclusion, I had a full nights sleep (naturally) and woke up my baseline self minus the melancholy. Thanks everyone for the replies, good to know depression is not awaiting me sometime in the future. Overall, the experience of MDMA/whatever crystal i ingested was OKAY, but not really my thing. Glad to have tried it, nonetheless.

Thanks everyone.
 
^^^It is your thing, just you need to take more of it. 84mg is a very low dose. Try doing 120-150mg in the company of your friends who are also on it, and then tell me the experience is just "okay".
 
Yeah, I think you're being overly cautious and ruined the experience somewhat - I've been there. We're pretty much socially engineered our whole lives to fear illegal drugs. The first few times I took MDMA, I got anxious if I didn't have a bottle of water. Ended up drinking about 3-4L's of it over the night and then pissing about 6 times in one hour once I came down - not pleasant. I'm much happier now I just drink a few bottles of water, I don't worry about it, and I don't need to urinate constantly on the comedown, win/win.

84mg really is quite a small dose, but a good starter no doubt. But to get the best effects from MDMA, I'd recommend anything from 100-130mg. Anything 150+ is beginning to become intense & 200+ is very intense. MDMA kind of has a 'dosage window' where a user experiences the best effects with the least side effects. For me, this is 100-130mg. Anything lower doesn't cut it, and anything higher can sometimes induce an unpleasant comeup, and is possibly overpowering during the peak. Nevertheless, higher doses can be mindblowingly good if the setting is right. It's just more likely to freak you out, or become more 'mind-fucky' so to say.
 
I probably will not do MDMA again, as I'm not part of the raver scene, and don't really hang out with people much. Perhaps, as you suggest, if I was around a bunch of people and did a high dose I might have had a different experience. I don't doubt that this is an amazing drug for certain people, but it just does't fit with my life style. However, I am glad I tried it and as I said, I had a good few hours appreciating music, and the things around me.
 
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