First time going to doctor for depression/ anxiety - What to say?

I am kind of in the same boat as you. I believe deeply that I am suffering from depression and anxiety disorder, but I'm not sure how to bring it up with a doctor because I honestly don't want to go to a therapist, because I'm no good at expressing myself to people (especially strangers) in person. I have zero friends, and I hardly talk to people face to face in my everyday life. I guess that could be social anxiety?
But I'm afraid if I tell that to a doctor, I'll just look like someone who wants a scrip of pills, and incendly make myself look like I'm just doing it for drugs, which is not the case
 
I have also been feeling quite depressed.
Having trouble with waking up, having fun, socializing and can´t hardly sleep just to sum up.
I fail in feeling good or positive about life in general. And can´t figure a way out of this.

I realize that soberness makes us a little strange and I suppose we have to re-adapt in order to succeed.
I constantly feeling unfit though, intolerant and my mood swings is affecting my relations.

I have my family with me. I just wish I´d be excited about something like people normally do with the simplest things.

I got back to my working rhythm. But after feeling a tiny moment of 'happiness' I rush back to my shelf.
My family and friends have no history of addiction. I figured they can´t really help me.


I hate the "must feel good' and pretend that nothing is happening with me.
I wonder if this new me will define how things will go from now on.

I had been sedated for more than 2 decades, having a pretty 'normal' life on methadone. But this is now over.
And all my energy is focused in staying sober at all costs. That´s the bright side i guess.


I have taken antidepressants before and has helped me. But now my doctor says it´s not depression but does not tell me what it is.

I´m often tired, lethargic and guilty for having these feelings when everyone around me tells me I should feel grateful for I have done.

Just don´t know what else I could do.

Wish you all a great Sunday!
Erik.
 
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I have also been feeling quite depressed most specifically for the past 6-7 months.
I´m constantly having difficulty in waking up, can´t hardly feel good about anything just to sum up.
Even when I have it all working in my direction I fail in feeling positive and suck when it comes in having fun or feeling joyful about the greatest things in life, like family, work and recreation. I don´t understand. I can´t figure a way out of this.

Now that I should be celebrating for having succeeded in recuperating my life back. But my sobriety makes everything seems dark and I feel unfit.
I have my family with me, everyone is excited about something and all I want is to be left alone or be in the house.

I managed to get everyone I love together, got back to my working rhythm. But after feeling a tiny moment of happiness and relaxation I rush immediately to my shelf.
I hate the must feel okay or pretending that I am happy. Even when I am I keep it inside. And I´m not at all like that.
I don´t even know who I am anymore. I had been out for more than 2 decades. Having a pretty 'normal' life on methadone.
But this is all over now.

I started to swim because people here often says it helps on our recovery but sometimes I just force myself into it.
I have taken antidepressants before and has helped me. But now my doctor says it´s not depression but does not tell me what it is.
I´m often tired, lethargic and guilty for having these feelings when everyone around me tells me I should feel grateful for I have done.
And that all I have to do is to keep trying.

Is there a medicine for this? It´s been 5 months of total sobriety, 6 months if I count the entire process where I was medicated and decreasing dosages until zero. So basically half an year without being high on anything. Totally sober.

It seems that being sober is making me a bad person. Someone who just can´t connect to life anymore. And even when I try and go to work or exercise I hardly let anybody in and keep myself isolated. Just pretending to be okay and trying to be polite.

Just don´t know what else I could do! Has someone felt like this. Perhaps wanted to share your experiences..
Thank you and sorry for the morbid mood out the blue.
Hi Erik, this reminds me of my mood when I need to smoke some weed. Could weed be what is missing?
 
Hey CfZ!
Haven´t really tried that for a long time. I guess it could work , change the air.
Who knows, see things under a different perspective.
Thanks for caring.
Erik.
 
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Erikmen, I think that some people see the world through a lens that doesn't prevent the pain that is all around getting filtered out. Maybe you are just coming to terms with that and it can take a while. Our cultures teach us that if we are not happy, we are sick. In fact we are encouraged to "not be a downer" when we speak of the darkness and pain that is all around us all the time. I think that the best thing that people like us can do (yes, I put myself in this category even though I do not usually suffer depression) is to cultivate appreciation for all the wonderfulness that also exists. Appreciation leads to exquisite moments of happiness. string enough of them together in your mind and you have a necklace that you can touch with your fingers in the darkest times--like prayer beads, only better.<3
 
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