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Misc First drug you tried that you instantly fell in love with?

I've fully gotten off the sleeping pills and benzos (though I am on a LOT of Gabapentin so I'm still on gabaergic drugs, but it's better than being on benzos) but I'm still fully dependant on Morphine. Never been able to get off opioids. I've been on anything from high doses of fentanyl and oxy at the same time to only take the prescription dose of codeine, but I've never been OFF them totally.
I see. What about the pancreatitis? Is it chronic?
Edit: no need to reply I don't want to be too nosy 😅
 
Man i remember the original batch of mdpv that came out,
Yeah, thats a form of love alright, realizing the only way to combat the hypotension is getting into a warm bath as to not die. (Thus bath salts) Zing. Cold extremities, HOT torso.
Being awake for... like.... 9 days hallucinating deer in my living room. You could call it love i guess.
 
I see. What about the pancreatitis? Is it chronic?
Edit: no need to reply I don't want to be too nosy 😅

Sorry, I wasn't deliberately not replying, I just came back to the site and saw it for the first time.
I'm extremely open, so dw about asking anything, I can't really think of any question I wouldn't be comfortable answering.

Yes, the Pancreatitis is chronic. It's incurable, so once you have an attack of Acute Pancreatitis, you will always have it. I have total pancreatic failure and experience flair-ups where it becomes acute again once or twice a year. I usually just get extra pain meds and anti-emetics, the worst part is how hard I have to press the doctor to just give me the meds and not have me hospitalized because every time you get acute pancreatitis there is a 20% mortality rate, so doctors like you to be in hospital. I DO call an ambulance if the pain becomes excruciating or I start vomiting a lot of blood, though.
 
Sorry, I wasn't deliberately not replying, I just came back to the site and saw it for the first time.
I'm extremely open, so dw about asking anything, I can't really think of any question I wouldn't be comfortable answering.

Yes, the Pancreatitis is chronic. It's incurable, so once you have an attack of Acute Pancreatitis, you will always have it. I have total pancreatic failure and experience flair-ups where it becomes acute again once or twice a year. I usually just get extra pain meds and anti-emetics, the worst part is how hard I have to press the doctor to just give me the meds and not have me hospitalized because every time you get acute pancreatitis there is a 20% mortality rate, so doctors like you to be in hospital. I DO call an ambulance if the pain becomes excruciating or I start vomiting a lot of blood, though.
Jeesus fkn Christ!! ...
I guess it's an incredible blessing I always had terrible side effects from alc even when I was young already, so I never got too much into it...
I knew it's a painful thing, but that's like horror... 😟
 
Ecstasy in the 90s. I don't say molly because I probably did some combo of mdma, speed, and god knows what else in those rando pressed pills.
 
Ecstasy nov 2000 Daytona beach area. Triple or double stacks. Took it with two friends. Dropped leaving new symrna beach. Had to poo poo, friends waited in car while I pooped T hotel , while went in, and it was starting its magic.

I talked to a girl in Las Vegas Katharine on the phone from aol chat and she told me about x. I had a friend that moved to nsb fl area , and took a bus twelve hours away to buy some x and for the experience.

Felt akin to feelings I had at a young age pure childlike wonder and magic. I was nineteen , smoked a lot of weed, and didn’t have any goals I was working toward really.

Went into a dance or trance night on a Saturday at a club and the music. Dance floor, experience was amazing. Did take a thirteen year break after abusing it . The magic did come back. Now do it 2~3 times a year max. Even some years none bc now that I'm older I don't go to clubs much like I used to, and I prefer doing it with opposite sex that have a deep connection with and this makes it deeper, of course.
 
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Weed. Smoked first when I was 13. I remember my first time. Only took 2 hits and felt nothing. The next I night smoked a joint with my brother. He leaves and then I felt it. I remember putting on Black Sabbath Master of Reality with headphones on and watching the swirls and visons behind closed eyes. This was like '77. I remember my brother going to the Dead concert at Englishtown around then. Then I remember rolling joints on the Rolling Stone magazine that had the Englishtown Crowd as Terrapin Station just came out. By 14 I was a regular smoker. (tripped a few times too) . You could not be around Dead Heads and NOT trip. It is just the way it was.

Yes my first MDMA tablet in 1984 also was memorable. I was at work. I hated work and customers. That day a parade of people I hate came in and I loved them. Unbelievable. Felt natural too.
 
Yes my first MDMA tablet in 1984 also was memorable. I was at work. I hated work and customers. That day a parade of people I hate came in and I loved them. Unbelievable. Felt natural too.
That's how people and their preferences are different... No offense at all but this is exactly why I never had any interest in xtc and never will take mdma either.
 
Jeesus fkn Christ!! ...
I guess it's an incredible blessing I always had terrible side effects from alc even when I was young already, so I never got too much into it...
I knew it's a painful thing, but that's like horror... 😟
it can be bad, the artist Avicii's downfall was from pancreatitis he had by the age of 25 from being a heavy alcoholic since 15. He thereafter became a heavy opioid addict (fueled by the pain) and never recovered and committed suicide at the height of his career due to the pain and continuing addition.

I've got some bladder damage myself from ketamine abuse and its greatly reduced my quality of life, caused me to remain on opioids despite hating them now (I've actually been off them for 3 months though right now). but I have had flares lasting months that caused me to plan suicide and acquire tools for it, it made me use IV opioids after not having done so for 10 years, days on end without sleeping due to pain, resorting to fentanyl and heroin because prescribed meds weren't enough for this pain, crying on the floor at the hospital or doctors, getting tubes stuck up my dick, surgeries, and a host of other medical horrors.

I also have some scarring in my lungs from all the smoking of various drugs that have caused problems.

when drugs take your health that's something you can never recover from even if you quit drugs.

less so than the organ damage are minor things. My teeth are damaged from clenching them so much during withdrawals. lower testosterone from opioids. permanent sleep difficulties and anhedonia. Don't know if I'll ever be the same. even 3 months off opioids I feel like shit and can't sleep.
 
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Omg pschonautical, you reminded me. The tan mdpv, which led me to years of mdpv abuse, was love at first sight. But love where you crave more but don’t know why…, that stuff was the devil. I guess I fell for miss mdpv, until she sucked my soul.
 
I've got some bladder damage myself from ketamine abuse and its greatly reduced my quality of life, caused me to remain on opioids despite hating them now (I've actually been off them for 3 months though right now). but I have had flares lasting months that caused me to plan suicide and acquire tools for it, it made me use IV opioids after not having done so for 10 years, days on end without sleeping due to pain, resorting to fentanyl and heroin because prescribed meds weren't enough for this pain, crying on the floor at the hospital or doctors, getting tubes stuck up my dick, surgeries, and a host of other medical horrors.
I remember. 🫂 You warned me about Ket almost a year ago..
less so than the organ damage are minor things. My teeth are damaged from clenching them so much during withdrawals.
😲... I did that without drugs grinding them during sleep for years...
lower testosterone from opioids. permanent sleep difficulties and anhedonia. Don't know if I'll ever be the same. even 3 months off opioids I feel like shit and can't sleep.
But you had some during these three months right? And even a single dose brings back the whole process all over again iirc. There's an intersting summary on an online teaching I found on BL discord. It's handwriting so I won't post it here, but that explains it quite well imo...
 
That's how people and their preferences are different... No offense at all but this is exactly why I never had any interest in xtc and never will take mdma either.
No offense at all. But let me be clearer. The magic of true MDMA is that it lifts the filters of our mind and makes us realize we are love. That’s all it does. Then I was able to project it outward. It was a pretty valuable thing to experience. I think the magic of all psychedelics are the genuine feelings. Not some pretentious I feel good because I’m on speed type fakery.
 
No offense at all. But let me be clearer. The magic of true MDMA is that it lifts the filters of our mind and makes us realize we are love. That’s all it does. Then I was able to project it outward. It was a pretty valuable thing to experience. I think the magic of all psychedelics are the genuine feelings. Not some pretentious I feel good because I’m on speed type fakery.
Interesting that you call it genuine despite you hating the crowd. And I can imagine it being impressive as well. Still then I can't help being repulsed by my idea of it. It honestly feels like the last thing I want from a drug.
I love the last sentence btw 😜
 
Tobbaco was my first drug, first ciggerette aged 7, started smoking everyday from age 11 to 47 im 50 and i have just used snuff tobbaco powder for the last 3 years and now prefer it to ciggerettes, alcahol i first had when 8 years old, my family lwt me drink white wine when having sunday dinner, but i was 16 when started drinking alcahol regurly, smoked pot, dropped lsd, and did speed and xtc aged 17, took a break from it all other than tobacco and alcahol for over a decade and then went back on speed ,xtc and started cocaine sniffung mainly but now the majority of time smoke crack, sniff snuff powder, and drink rum!
 
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