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first day clean

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gerald

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 2, 2002
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57
Location
Southern California
Yeah, well, I decided to take Crimson Cloud's advice and I've tapered my use of tar (smoking) the last few days to just doing a tiny amount the last two. I feel like shit right now, but it's not hell - just a lingering kind of itch, if you know what I mean... I just basically feel like I'm missing the part of me that makes me feel...'right.'

Anyway, I've been using for about three months, but I had a week break about a month and a half ago during which I was in Mexico and had no withdrawal symptoms, but last week I tried to quick on the spur of the moment and it was quite painful. I think I'll make it, well, I hope I will. I don't won't to go back to the rigors of securing my "daily dosage," so to speak.

My Neuroscience prof claims that tapering usage of morphine or any opiate/opioid by 1/5 or 1/4 each day will allow an addict to get off w/out any side-affects, but, well, I don't agree so far. I guess things can only get better from here, right?
 
Wow good work. You can get that shit out of your life, the hardest part is WANTING to get clean, and you are there already.

The worst physical shit (you probably know or read here someplace) is over in a 3 or 4 or 5 days, and there are things you can do to make it easier. (Everybody has an opinion on this one). I used to try to sleep as much as possible, Ambien usually worked, and I took a lot of HOT baths when I was kicking, I felt like the hot water was leaching the toxins out of my body. Whenever I could (sometimes I didn't have a choice) I would try to kick in a foreign country, so the affects of jet lag would sort mask some of what I was going through, and gave me a good excuse to stay in bed. Plus if I was somewhere I could not score easily the temptations to use were less.

That week you had in Mexico where you didn't use but didn't go through withdrawl probably meant that the tar didn't really have it's claws in you yet. You were still at a point where physically you could take it or leave it. It's amazing how fast that goes by, the point where we still have some control over wether or not we need to fix. Took me completely by surprise when I just couldn't stop one day, after a couple of years on-and-off smack.

Tapering could work maybe, it's supposed to work with benzo's, but for me and most people I know smack is all about needing more all the time. If I tried to "taper" I would just feel that yawning hole in my gut that wanted me to maintain. But whatever works for you.

You're abso-fucking-lutely right, gerald, things will only get better from here.

There is a truck load of wisdom and experience on this board, you're in the right place.
 
Each passing day WILL get better and you'll end up thanking yourself in the end. A life without an addiction / habit is much better than one with....

Chris~
 
chris2xd said:
Each passing day WILL get better and you'll end up thanking yourself in the end. A life without an addiction / habit is much better than one with....

Chris~
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Great words Chris :) !
 
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