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Fired Up! The February 2015 Getting and Staying Clean and Sober Thread

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Good job skylark you can either open your own thread so in sober living or the darkside and update us as much as you want it is very helpful i have done that many times in the past.
It is also helpful for alot of members to read a thread like that especially when the person is succesful in getting sober.
All the best to you its not easy but you can do it.
As for me day 12 still not getting better but its ok one day at a time i will not use today as much as my head is telling me i should get a good nights sleep. It will feel so much better when it comes naturally and i wont have crazy regrets the next day.
Have a great day evreyone "Life is beautiful"
Totach
 
skylark517 said:
Hey all -

Brand-new member here (though I've been lurking hardcore for years) looking for support while kicking poppyseed tea. I haven't taken any for two days and downed 60mgs of Loperamide earlier, so most of the edge is off for now. Is this the best place to post some in-depth self-exploration-while-recovering stuff, or should I do that somewhere else nearby?
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Welcome and good luck!
 
1.5 sub today yay me :)

I can't wait to be off this stuff. At least I'm not copping anymore... I look back and I'm like dang - I was crazy. I mean... I'm dating a cop, and I was an active heroin addict (and he had no idea). There were times I'd go cop in the hood and drive a few blocks to his office and go see him, sitting up in his office with guns and badges and uniforms all around, and after we were done visiting I'd go home and get high. There were plenty of times I'd text him, then my dealer would text, I'd text my dealer back, then him, dealer, him, dealer... it's a wonder I never texted him something like "that stuff sucked, I barely got high". Or texted my dealer, "are you still filling out that arrest report or can I come by?". That would'a been cute.
 
Just A Guy said:
I knew you could do it! Man, you've been suffering through like a beast, but a champ, man. Keep it up. Are you feeling anything come back yet?
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I'm doing a bit better

I'm starting to realize most of my problems are health/mental health related, and it's understandable why I was using

I'm trying to re-engage with life, and it's going as smoothly as possible I guess

there's still a lot making me depressed and upset but I'm working on it all, one thing at a time, one day at a time

possibly triggering content
NSFW:
I had a dream where I had a small amount of meth

and kept trying to shoot it

to no avail

drove me insane

when I woke up I felt awful because I hate having drug cravings in my sleep

especially when I want to shoot up, but can't

it's the most unempowering dream I've ever had; I'd rather dream about dying
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I'm doing ok; working towards my 4 month mark again

how's it going on your end?
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thats awesome man! for me, it doesnt matter how many times i mess up, just how many times i get back up and try facing life again. id rather have some sobriety than no sobriety at all!!


im alright, its been about 2 months since i have last used an opiate. i am just angry at the world kind of. i am trying to stay really busy too...

id like to catch up sometime!! give me a call or something :)
 
I feel determined to beat this beast once and for all.
Damn its hard without sleeping tho. I dont feel so bad during the day besides the sweating which is still real bad and its cold in NY.
Ya so day 13 here we go i hope evreyone has a good day!
 
I wish. Actually I'm really looking for time to pass. Maybe in 6 months I'll be better, maybe not..shit
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I had a dream where I had a small amount of meth

and kept trying to shoot it

to no avail

drove me insane

when I woke up I felt awful because I hate having drug cravings in my sleep

especially when I want to shoot up, but can't

it's the most unempowering dream I've ever had; I'd rather dream about dying[/NSFW]
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Great writing though. I have the same dreams, maybe writing about them makes you feel better..
 
[email protected] said:
I don't know where to jump in, so I'm just going to jump. I need all of your advise and experience in helping my son and want to help you if I can. He's been on opiates and then subs - opioids for years. He finally used heroine and hit rock bottom. He is here at home finishing his first week clean. I have purchased every vitamin recommended. He is eating like a horse and is drinking to keep system down. Lots of baths and benedryl to help sleep. I know he shouldn't drink. He is very cranky. He doesn't want to work a program. I don't know how to convince him if he doesn't he will most likely relapse. Any advise is appreciated.
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Hey serkl and welcome to Bluelight.

You may want to refer your son to BL. So many addicts think they can just decide never to do the drugs. It just does not work that way. We can decide never to eat, but we can't decide never to be hungry. We can decide never to drink, but we can't decide never to be hungry. We can decide never to use our DOC, but unfortunately we can not choose never to crave the drug.

The unconscious brain is more powerful than the conscious. The unconscious brain is what is addicted. In order to combat the stronger illusive part of the brain we need to work a program.

I would check this thread out and take the time to read through the chapter i linked about the divided self. The "elephant" is the addict. If you like what you read then i would consider borrowing the book for your son.

The Brain and Addiction
Addiction Guide

I would seriously consider getting him a gym membership. Exercise can be an amazing weapon against addiction.

Here is some very good information on what he is going through
PAWS LINKS
Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)
Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW) Excerpted From “Staying Sober” By: Terence T. Gorski
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki

Exercise and Brain Neurotransmission
Neurobiology of Exercise
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. The Endorphin Factory
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. I worked all that out
exercise and sleep

Chemicals and supplements to recover from opiate addiction
Diet & Neurogenesis


it is a powerful thing to keep our thoughts possitive and here are some threads many of us use to help us do this.
Managing depressive thinking
Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
Share Something Positive from Your Day vs. It's All Around You
Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 4 Infinite Chances in an Amazing World

Here is the mindfulness thread.
Anhedonia MEGA Thread


If he is having trouble with a traditional twelve step recovery there are other options out there that may suit him better.
SMART Recovery (Support Group information and discussion)

I would encourage him to form and implement two plans... one plan to deal with the PAWS and another to deal with the addiction. Addiction recovery needs a very proactive approach. If this is taken then people recover and live a very peaceful and enjoyable existence. If they don't take a proactive approach then they often really struggle and then relapse. He should make his recovery his highest priority for a year or two.
 
Im really bugging out i dont know what to do with myself anymore.
Evreyone seems to get better after a week while i get worse after two weeks
I cant take tossing and turning one more night its so uncomfertable
I cant take any benzos either eventho ive never abused them but did take em for extended periods of time for sleep
Thanx for letting me vent its day 14 for me
 
totach said:
Im really bugging out i dont know what to do with myself anymore.
Evreyone seems to get better after a week while i get worse after two weeks
I cant take tossing and turning one more night its so uncomfertable
I cant take any benzos either eventho ive never abused them but did take em for extended periods of time for sleep
Thanx for letting me vent its day 14 for me
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dude I know how you feel

It takes me months to recover from bupe/heroin

you're right; some people can recover quick

one thing I will say, when I was using meth, I would only need 2-3 days of mild recovery, just sleeping in really

some people are like "how can you do that?" - we're all unique

just know that one day you will notice that you feel better, and it'll keep slowly getting better man

do you have things to keep your mind occupied, like books, music, movies, TV shows, etc?

laCster said:
i almost got high today and i am sooooo glad i didnt!!!
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this is excellent man, thanks for sharing. very inspirational. :)
 
Thanx for the encouragment captian and myloveishim bluelight is currently my support system since my new job consists of long hours i leave at 10am m get home at like 10pm
Its good tho much better then sitting at home thinking bout copping all day i dont plan to keep this job for a long time but i think for now its good for me eventho i also dont like it
I cant even really join a gym with those hourse cuz im so tired now when i get home like yesterday i went to.bed at 1040 cuz i was so tired but i woke up at 1145 wide awake and kicking my legs like a lunatic
Fuck man i cant wait to get some sleep its the worst symptom insomnia that is
By the way captian i do watch alot of netflix at night im not much of a reader as you can prob tell by my horrible grammer and writing btw english is not my first or second language thats why i suck at it im sorry for that.
That is why i break down my posts cuz i suck at punctuation ;)
Anyways off to work wish evreybody a great clean day!
I also wanted to add that i am trying to also quit smoking and only had one cigarette a day for the last 2 days coming from a pack a day its almost as hard as dope to not smoke but i allready feel a change in my breathing so i hope i continue with that also
 
@CH

thank you! i cant tell you how relieving it is to know i didnt get high yesterday
 
totach said:
Hi all sorry i dissapered for a while obviously its cuz i relapsed hard.
I dont think i have another heroin kick in me i am so lost.
I have tried evreything from posh rehabs to rapid detox to ibogaine and nothings seems to work.
I am on my 3rd day cold turkey from benzos heroin and alittle methadone.
I feel terrible havent slept in 3 days which is torture and.knowing theres weeks ahead of me with no sleep.
I still hit up my dealer evreyday eventho i dont want to use im so fucked i really hope i pull thru this.

Wish you all a great february
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I know this is old, but totach I hope your hanging in there and I hope you are clean and feelin better, this is how I am feeling right now. this is the longest I have ever been without an opiate, mainly H and suboxone...but very little suboxone and H. day 4 I think im on. It is a rough road dude. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow gotta hold through till then.

Starting to exercise a little bit, and wanna stop smoking cigs, I feel like my body will heal faster, had about 4 days off cigs, than smoked 2 packs in 2 days the past few days, got a 7mg nicotine patch, hope it works...

I know its clichéd but I do take warm baths in Epsom salt, and they really really seem to help. if I could go to a sauana and chill in there for a few hours, then mainly hop on the elliptical, and im gonna take vitamins, some 5htp, and I wanna see if Immodium helps.

I really wanna see what the doctor gives me though. time and energy and healthy living is the best medicine for sure. why does day four seem harder than the last day? I just cant stop here, im excited to see whats on the other side.
 
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