Debbie Combs
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2018
- Messages
- 158
My last dose was 1/3/19 at 10:30am. It was 9 mg. I have been going to methadone clinic since 9/12, over 6 yrs. I was tapering, doing well, But took a Xanax one night for sleep and pissed dirty. They took my take homes away. That?s fine. I understand. It?s a rule. However I never had a dirty screen for the 6 yrs I was there. This was the first. I talked to Dr about recovery and his reply bothered me to no end. Clinic treats addiction, not recovery. So I asked my GP, he said that would be the clinic that would help with recovery. Vicious cycle. I jumped.Done pretty good for the last 2 days. My pupils are quite dilated. My heartbeat is really fast and my legs ache really bad. No appetite. I hope it does not get any worse. I live by myself. I?m older, 56. The heart beating so fast has me concerned. I?ve told my two daughters, they are supportive and live a short distance from here. I do feel alone. I have Xanax if I need it. 1 7.5 loritabs and have bought a supply of Lope. I do not want to use anything that would prolong. I gotta be top dollar in March. Thank you for reading this. I?m going to use this as my journal until I get better.Question......will it get worse? I?m having a hard time finding things I can get into to occupy my brain, not dwell on it. My highest dose was 90 at methadone clinic. I came down to 60 pretty fast and then to 30, I?d say the last year has me from 30-9. Now none. Scary after all these years.