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finally on BL

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allthedowners

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 23, 2014
Messages
29
Location
the South (US)
Hi all.

I found BL a few years ago when searching for proper ways to break down and slam opiates, and I've frequently returned searching for answers to a whole host of different questions. Today I decided it was finally time to create an account so I could get to know a few of you a little better and to show my appreciation for the insight that has helped me to use drugs effectively over the past few years.

I'm in my mid twenties, female, from the South (USA), although I don't identify with the culture down here too much. Graduated from a well known university two years ago with a BA, and have been what I would call a functional addict for the past eight years. Started with alcohol (blackout drunk) and cocaine, then moved on to my greatest love, King Heroin, my senior year of college. I've been caught in this love affair with H and the needle for four years now. I slam dope everyday but still manage work full time and pay the few bills I have. After living on my own for several years and paying my way through school, my addiction got beyond my control two years ago and I landed in the hospital with endocarditis and kidney failure. Three months later, I moved back in with my family and have been slowly building my resources back up to move out again and carry on with life as it used to be. Honestly though, I don't know if things will ever be like they were before because of the bottoms I've hit. Here's to seeing what's next..

I have experience with all drugs except psychedelics (besides weed), but the ones that I've really succumbed to at some stage in my addiction are alcohol, cocaine, meth, and now heroin.
Can't wait to meet some of you fine people and eventually input my opinion along the way.

Cheers!
 
Welcome to BL! :D

You've got quite an intense story but I'm happy to hear you made the jump from lurker to member, check out Other Drugs I'm sure you'll make heaps of supporting friends in there. :)
 
Welcome!
%)
Enjoy the site.
If you need any help with it regarding anything, don't hesitate to ask a moderator, BL Ambassador, or even me!

-HOOD
 
Welcome, very interesting intro. I read intro and picture someone happy for no reason, like the Canadians;). Then I notice ur name. You hv ALOT to get off ur chest?
 
Wow what an intro I am glad you are semi healthy again and yes heroin is difficult beautifully demonic and succubus with lust in it's eyes I have my own love affair with it been slowing down on it myself be careful as I tell myself the same welcome and I hope to get to talk to you too
 
I'm a heroin fiend too let me know if I can help you with anything my fellow doper I'm currently vetting clean after a 8 ball a day habit I picked up selling heroin for years.
You will enjoy looking through other drugs in the forum section
 
Hi, I just joined bluelight today after reading forums and posts for many years. I feel the same as use with my drug use of xanax/opiates and recently been doing H the past 4 days. I just snorted it though. I feel i can relate to you. I am 20 and have a great GPA and a good job right now. It sucks when it feels like your a functional addict. I also get blackout drunk and i need to stop because i am constantly nodding out weekly and it scares my bf who lives with me.

Like you, I have hit rock bottoms as well. I got arressted with intent to deliver marijuana when i was away at school in iowa. I came home and a couple mothns later i was arrested with possession of alcohol under a minor and caught with 5 xanax bars and 3 OP60s. I know rock bottom fucking sucks. it does. I just live by the motto "This too shall pass". right now i know i need to stop and I feel the same way about how life will be sober. fortunatley, my boyfriend who also does drugs is able to quit on the spot and be a postive person. Unlike him, when i'm clean I go nuts and feel crazy, but I realized going on walks and praying, and counting my blessings in life has helped.

I'm at the point where rock bottom will come to me again soon if I keep up this behavior, but I don't want to learn the hard way again.... I know its so hard for me to imagine my bf and i living together sober bcuz we usually get fucked up together. but you have graduated from school and are clearly intelligent, and your just making silly decisions which are controlled by the drugs. I get it. I wish you the best of luck.. and remember once your down you can only come up and improve yourself. i wish i could take my own advice here. But remember things will change for the better once you knock the H and the needle. It may not seem like it now, but it will. It will only make u a stronger better person in the end.

Best wishes,
Meghan
 
Meghan, I haven't seen your response until just now. I hope you're doing well and didn't let those four days with H become forty..
I am currently trying with every ounce of will in me to put down the needle and say goodbye to H for good. But... easier said than done. I throw my needles in dumpsters and get friends to hold my debit card and keys.. only to wake up with the sickness the next morning, beg and plead with my friends to have my stuff back, and then go dumpster diving for my points. Its a nasty viscous drug that has sucked all life from me.
But alas, I'm still employed, still keeping my secret from my family, still "functioning."
I hope you and your boyfriend have been able to get help. I know what its like to be with a guy who's able to put all drugs down at the drop of a hat and just go on living normal life while I'm left in a fucked-up cloud of desperation and confusion. Its not wonderful, but his positivity always helped.
 
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