Of course I want to hear the truth... I wouldn't ask questions if I wanted some bullshit fed to me. lol. I am all too familiar with opiate withdrawal, going on four years of trying to manage my addiction now. Yeah I'm only three months into heroin, but that's kind of the point; I know exactly what I have to look forward to. This isn't a dicksizing contest, I'm seriously just at my wit's end with opiates in general.
So with that out of the way... I have a pretty good idea of what H withdrawals are like now compared to hydro/oc/subs... I'm happy that so far they seem more manageable than hydro withdrawals, which were the worst for me for some reason... but then again, my boyfriend and I are still tapering (yes he uses also.. I think someone asked?) I'm hella thankful to have someone doing it with me this time around tho.
Also, this morning I took a shot, and it was maybe a .07 if that, and I actually got a nice lil rush... so at least I'm doing well with the tapering. W/d's are still a bitch though, even with the Norcs :/ My boyfriend also picked up a sack for us at around 2 am and I haven't even touched it yet, so I'm pretty happy about where my self control is at too... then again, that could just be because I had a shot left over, but still. It's been five hours, and that's better than doing it every 2-3 hours like I was before
For the person who asked - my doc isn't an addiction specialist, but he WAS prescribing my Subs for a time before I started seeing a legit addiction specialist. He has a license, but says he can't prescribe it to me since he can only treat people with pill addictions... so I kinda screwed myself out of that one. I guess he's working with my insurance to find me a detox center though. And yeah, this script is the last of the Norcs... he made it very clear that I wasn't getting anymore than a week's supply. That's fine with me.
Honestly, I just want to be back on Suboxone. I hate myself sooo much for letting myself get into this situation. It's like one day I was taking my Subs, only .25 mg a day.... and the next I was mainlining H. I just want to be back to where I was before. I hate that I've lost so much weight already and that I constantly feel like shit and the people that do it and worrying about your next fix and that I've already gotten myself into a few hundred dollars debt... I seriously fucking hate myself right now. I just want to be able to start working again and going back to school as soon as possible. And to do that, I need to get back on Subs... which reminds me of another thing. My doctor straight up told me that he thinks I'm "one of those people who can never truly break free from opiates and will probably have to use Suboxone maintenance for the rest of my life... but it's okay, because it's safe." I really don't care how safe it is... that is the most depressing thing I have possibly ever heard. Not helping the depression/anxiety/raging bitch aspect.
Thanks for the suggestions guys, good stuff. Feel free to keep em coming
EDIT: Just reread the first paragraph, sorry... I'm such a raging bitch right now. What I really need are some benzos hah... but anyway, I didn't mean to sound that harsh. I'm gonna leave it though cause my point still stands and it's too much of a hassle to correct things I type right now since my wrist is in a splint lol
OTHER EDIT: I forgot to add, I actually DO have some Kratom. Yay. What's the best way to integrate that into my taper?