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Benzos Fiending out -.-

80mg

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 1, 2010
Messages
722
Location
Strong Island, NY
I got...a 45 minute wait till I get some xanax. At a 20% price increase of course. I am just so tempted to say "fuck this shit" grab 5 blues, a syringe and just bang one out for old times sake. The last time I shot up was the 24th. It was only .25 mg of bupernorphine as well. So I barly count that.

Basically...when your anxiety is REALLY bothering you and anxious...whats a good way to calm down while waiting for benzos? As sad as it sounds i just kinda needed someone to talk to. :(
 
It's not worth it man, you can do it I believe in you :) just listen to some good music and try to relax, you've come this far.
 
If the anxiety is getting to you I'd advise getting the benzo down your throat before you have the time to reach for a needle.
 
This is not going to sound helpful, but what I do in these waiting situations, is to walk to a destination and back that I know will take up approximately the allotted Wait time. I find that when I'm anxious, moving is a lot better than sitting still. Of course, I don't know the depth of your Dependancy to Xanax, or if you just take it from time to time. If you're at risk of a seizure, do NOT go walking around, check into an ER (though I'm getting the feeling your not in such a dire situation)
 
I suffer social anxiety and generalised anxiety. And after benzos became no longer an option. I developed a good few methods of releiving anxiety, and burning time when my mind wasnt being very kind to me. The main thing to do is keep yourself busy, or go somehwere else. As znegative said, a walk is a good idea, walk somewhere thats roughly the amount of time you need to burn, and listen to some music, reasonably loud with some earphones. The music will sound horrible and youll want to stop listneing to it, but dont, just keep at it.

By far the best method is to learn how to dissociate on demand, I can now pretty much do it anytime anyplace. Heres me method, I sit down, and make sure there is some sort of backgorund noise (for some reason this helps a lot) like a tv, or music. I then focus intently on a single object, such as a mug on a tablea cross the room, i then mentally psoiton myself behind the mug, and imadgine what it looks like from the otherside, then waht it looks like inside, then I imadgine the texture of the ceramic if it where broken, the shine of the glaze and the colour of the tea stains inside.

The idea is basically to focus intnetly on things you cant see, so have to imadgine. (much easier when related to real world objects, like a mug you can see).

The next hard bit is staying dissociated, like learning how to lucid dream, you have to learn to stay awake enough that you realise you are dissociated, adn want to stay that way. But not so awake that you "snap" back to the real world. Techniques like these allow me to have a job, some sort of social life, and generally leave my house without persistant panic attacks, it sounds ridiculous, but trust me it works. When benzos arent an option anymore, then neccesity negates logic, and you learn something new.

Kinda %) right now so sorry if that lacks sense.
 
^^^Wow that is awesome advice faceplant..thank you so much...I have bad anxiety, sometimes its hard for me to just leave my house. I will try this, I dont want to keep relying on benzos or opiates.
 
no problem :), I dont think im allowed to link you, but the social anxiety support forum is fantastic, if you wanted some more help in that area. Id rather not share my username there, but it has helped me immensely, in so so many ways. Anxiety is a beast you just have to keep fighting, dont give up.
 
I suffer social anxiety and generalised anxiety. And after benzos became no longer an option. I developed a good few methods of releiving anxiety, and burning time when my mind wasnt being very kind to me. The main thing to do is keep yourself busy, or go somehwere else. As znegative said, a walk is a good idea, walk somewhere thats roughly the amount of time you need to burn, and listen to some music, reasonably loud with some earphones. The music will sound horrible and youll want to stop listneing to it, but dont, just keep at it.

By far the best method is to learn how to dissociate on demand, I can now pretty much do it anytime anyplace. Heres me method, I sit down, and make sure there is some sort of backgorund noise (for some reason this helps a lot) like a tv, or music. I then focus intently on a single object, such as a mug on a tablea cross the room, i then mentally psoiton myself behind the mug, and imadgine what it looks like from the otherside, then waht it looks like inside, then I imadgine the texture of the ceramic if it where broken, the shine of the glaze and the colour of the tea stains inside.

The idea is basically to focus intnetly on things you cant see, so have to imadgine. (much easier when related to real world objects, like a mug you can see).

The next hard bit is staying dissociated, like learning how to lucid dream, you have to learn to stay awake enough that you realise you are dissociated, adn want to stay that way. But not so awake that you "snap" back to the real world. Techniques like these allow me to have a job, some sort of social life, and generally leave my house without persistant panic attacks, it sounds ridiculous, but trust me it works. When benzos arent an option anymore, then neccesity negates logic, and you learn something new.

Kinda %) right now so sorry if that lacks sense.

^Great posting. I just got off almost a decade of benzodiazepine therapy for debilitating anxiety, insomnia, PTSD,... And this is great advice, I am always trying to tell people on here that benzos aren't the answer, they won't work forever, and that I've learned more about how to cope with life in this past year than in nine years of benzodiazepine therapy.
 
Take a shower. That is one of my ways of dealing with the anxiety from waiting on a dealer.

80mg, why are you so fixated on shooting up blues? I just don't get it from some of your posts when you are saying that you don't want to replapse of roxi because the info on how bad they are without a micron has bugged you out, but why are you so caught up on IVing them? It's not one of those drugs that is like "once you IV them you will never go back to using them any other way." A lot of people have gone back to taking oxycodone orally after IVing them. I'm just curious, that's all. Maybe thinking of a reponse will kill more time for you while waiting on the man.
 
I suffer social anxiety and generalised anxiety. And after benzos became no longer an option. I developed a good few methods of releiving anxiety, and burning time when my mind wasnt being very kind to me. The main thing to do is keep yourself busy, or go somehwere else. As znegative said, a walk is a good idea, walk somewhere thats roughly the amount of time you need to burn, and listen to some music, reasonably loud with some earphones. The music will sound horrible and youll want to stop listneing to it, but dont, just keep at it.

By far the best method is to learn how to dissociate on demand, I can now pretty much do it anytime anyplace. Heres me method, I sit down, and make sure there is some sort of backgorund noise (for some reason this helps a lot) like a tv, or music. I then focus intently on a single object, such as a mug on a tablea cross the room, i then mentally psoiton myself behind the mug, and imadgine what it looks like from the otherside, then waht it looks like inside, then I imadgine the texture of the ceramic if it where broken, the shine of the glaze and the colour of the tea stains inside.

The idea is basically to focus intnetly on things you cant see, so have to imadgine. (much easier when related to real world objects, like a mug you can see).

The next hard bit is staying dissociated, like learning how to lucid dream, you have to learn to stay awake enough that you realise you are dissociated, adn want to stay that way. But not so awake that you "snap" back to the real world. Techniques like these allow me to have a job, some sort of social life, and generally leave my house without persistant panic attacks, it sounds ridiculous, but trust me it works. When benzos arent an option anymore, then neccesity negates logic, and you learn something new.

Kinda %) right now so sorry if that lacks sense.

Great advice!

Take a shower. That is one of my ways of dealing with the anxiety from waiting on a dealer.

80mg, why are you so fixated on shooting up blues? I just don't get it from some of your posts when you are saying that you don't want to replapse of roxi because the info on how bad they are without a micron has bugged you out, but why are you so caught up on IVing them? It's not one of those drugs that is like "once you IV them you will never go back to using them any other way." A lot of people have gone back to taking oxycodone orally after IVing them. I'm just curious, that's all. Maybe thinking of a reponse will kill more time for you while waiting on the man.

Well...with all due respect; that's simply not true. Me and MANY of other people who shot up oxycodone can not really imaigne any other way. Plus half of the addiction is the prep. I LOVE preping shots. Like for real. And yes oxy rush compared to idk dialudid is almost a joke but the key word is ALMOST. Still a little 3 second rush of it all hitting your brain.
 
I have to agree that the addiction is half in the ritual of preperation.

Concerning the benzo addiction I talked about above, i know, and knew then snorting xanax was useless. But I used to take about 5 1mg xanax pills, eat 1, put one under my tongue. and Then crush 2 into 4 lines, id finish off the one under my tongue, snort the four lines and then eat the last one. Im sure it would have been actually less effective than jsut eating the damn things. But wihtout the ritual it wasnt the same.

In a desperate attempt to stay clean, i developed a way of tricking my mind. Id take 5 totally inert pills (like APAP or similar), follow my above ritual to the letter. And then reward myself with a drug I was ok taking, at the time it was normally ket or mxe. The idea was that when I had a severe craivng I couldnt ignore. Id follow my ritual exactly, but be high on ket, instead of a benzo. The high is totally different, and the chemical addiction was still rampant. But this took my mind off things and really helped the mental addiction side of things.
 
I have to agree that the addiction is half in the ritual of preperation.

Concerning the benzo addiction I talked about above, i know, and knew then snorting xanax was useless. But I used to take about 5 1mg xanax pills, eat 1, put one under my tongue. and Then crush 2 into 4 lines, id finish off the one under my tongue, snort the four lines and then eat the last one. Im sure it would have been actually less effective than jsut eating the damn things. But wihtout the ritual it wasnt the same.

In a desperate attempt to stay clean, i developed a way of tricking my mind. Id take 5 totally inert pills (like APAP or similar), follow my above ritual to the letter. And then reward myself with a drug I was ok taking, at the time it was normally ket or mxe. The idea was that when I had a severe craivng I couldnt ignore. Id follow my ritual exactly, but be high on ket, instead of a benzo. The high is totally different, and the chemical addiction was still rampant. But this took my mind off things and really helped the mental addiction side of things.

You got some interesting techniques! I didn't even get my damn xanax >.< I just plugged 1mg of bupe to take the edge and crave off. I feel ALOT better. I do appreciate all of you guys though. For real. There's a reason why bluelight has been my home for 2 years :)
 
Well...with all due respect; that's simply not true. Me and MANY of other people who shot up oxycodone can not really imaigne any other way. Plus half of the addiction is the prep. I LOVE preping shots. Like for real. And yes oxy rush compared to idk dialudid is almost a joke but the key word is ALMOST. Still a little 3 second rush of it all hitting your brain.

I'm definitely not arguing with the fact that some people get a rush from IV oxycodone. I know several respected junkies (lol at that term) that get a rush from it, although they are usually few and far between. I just don't get how you seem to feel that IV is the only way to use it, when a lot of people wouldn't be all too upset with having to eat it if need be. Idk, it's just not like a heroin addict who has no veins left so is going crazy about not being able to IV, because the IV BA of heroin is so much higher than the nasal BA, but with something like oxy the 10% less you are getting from taking it orally isn't going to be the end of the world.
 
I'm definitely not arguing with the fact that some people get a rush from IV oxycodone. I know several respected junkies (lol at that term) that get a rush from it, although they are usually few and far between. I just don't get how you seem to feel that IV is the only way to use it, when a lot of people wouldn't be all too upset with having to eat it if need be. Idk, it's just not like a heroin addict who has no veins left so is going crazy about not being able to IV, because the IV BA of heroin is so much higher than the nasal BA, but with something like oxy the 10% less you are getting from taking it orally isn't going to be the end of the world.

I like resepcted junkie haha.

WELL I DID plug, eat, and snort 3 blues about 4 days ago. But it was the rush I missed. That overwhelming sensation that everything is gonna be OK inl ess than 20 seconds.
 
That need for instant gratification is pretty much the kingpin of addiction. If you can train yourself to wait longer for your reward, the cause will start to lose its meaning, if that makes any sense at all. The rush is really nice, but if you can force yourself to put up with the 30-40 mins to come up from oral opiates, it should help your addiction situation a lot.
 
Well...with all due respect; that's simply not true. Me and MANY of other people who shot up oxycodone can not really imaigne any other way. Plus half of the addiction is the prep. I LOVE preping shots. Like for real. And yes oxy rush compared to idk dialudid is almost a joke but the key word is ALMOST. Still a little 3 second rush of it all hitting your brain.

Actually, tommyboy is right. I went from IV back to oral use and TBH, I'm actually getting better results orally, there is no way I would IV oxycodone, even if you handed me a prepped shot. I would actually break the needle off off and just squirt it into my mouth. Tommyboy is probably much more understanding regarding rush with oxycodone. I have a very hard time believing that people experience a rush from it, rather than just immediate onset of a potent opioid. Personally, I do not believe it's capable of producing a rush, but of course this is subjective, there is no research or studies done on whether opiates provide a "rush".

edit: to the poster above me, I feel my opiates orally often within 10-15 minutes, depending on the opiate.
 
Actually, tommyboy is right. I went from IV back to oral use and TBH, I'm actually getting better results orally, there is no way I would IV oxycodone, even if you handed me a prepped shot. I would actually break the needle off off and just squirt it into my mouth. Tommyboy is probably much more understanding regarding rush with oxycodone. I have a very hard time believing that people experience a rush from it, rather than just immediate onset of a potent opioid. Personally, I do not believe it's capable of producing a rush, but of course this is subjective, there is no research or studies done on whether opiates provide a "rush".

edit: to the poster above me, I feel my opiates orally often within 10-15 minutes, depending on the opiate.

I did once get a rush from dihydrocodone, I was very new to opiates and I took 8 pills (cant remember how many mg / pill) at once in a gel cap. And Had A sudden, immense overhwelming sensation or warmth and highness, that I later became to know as a rush. I have since never had such a result from an opiate like that.
 
Actually, tommyboy is right. I went from IV back to oral use and TBH, I'm actually getting better results orally, there is no way I would IV oxycodone, even if you handed me a prepped shot. I would actually break the needle off off and just squirt it into my mouth. Tommyboy is probably much more understanding regarding rush with oxycodone. I have a very hard time believing that people experience a rush from it, rather than just immediate onset of a potent opioid. Personally, I do not believe it's capable of producing a rush, but of course this is subjective, there is no research or studies done on whether opiates provide a "rush".

edit: to the poster above me, I feel my opiates orally often within 10-15 minutes, depending on the opiate.

Like i said opana is WAY better IV'd if you can get the IR's. But in my town theres a dope drought, and diauludids plus the new opanas. So oxys is all there is. Theres deffinedly a rush. But we're all different. What I get a rush from you may think "Wtf"
 
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