I have read all of your advice and come up with the following remedy for myself: lots of hamburgers and buffalo wings, lots of water, daily multivitamin, and a shitload of enemas and laxatives lol.... jk.
To the vegans: How do you get all of your amino acids? Is that a stupid question? I have no idea because I don't know much about vegan public policy, but it will be a cold day in hell before I ever give up the multitude of wonderful meats that exist. I think it's nice of you guys to stick up for the animals, though, because cows and pigs really are cute and make really good pets if you spoil them and treat them like people. And the thing that is most shameful is how graceful and beautiful deer are. Unfortunately for them, their meat makes sausage that right now thinking about how good it is gives me a full erection. But I suppose I've said too much... there are a lot of good vegetarian dishes, and I may have to compromise and start taking advantage of them more often in order to improve the state of my troubled bowel movements.