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Feeling shame, opiate addict

Yes ash i am, fault of mine at times, i hope youre feeling well and you have a great holiday as well
Your friend
George
 
Gunslinger354 said:
But she knows i went to er for wds that night and continued to prescribe the comfort meds , well the pa did but im positive my dr would HAVE to know what went on, im not afraid to tell her because i dont want any pain meds from her
Thanks for everything Ash
Your friend George
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At this point, I think honesty is probably the best route since there are things already on file. You could tell your doctor that you became physically dependent on the medication and noticed you started taking more than prescribed amounts so you decided to stop use completely. Or you could just say that you decided to stop taking the medicine as you noticed you were physically dependent and no longer needed it for pain, this way you might advert unnecessary concern.

Either way, opioids really aren't that great for pain long term in my opinion. It's similar to taking benzos for anxiety- initially they will help, but over time they will reduce your natural ability to manage pain and carry with them a lot of side effects. Your body naturally produces opioid like substances with one of the primary functions being pain response and regulation. They serve other roles as well though, besides just pain response/regulation. The most commonly known "natural opioid" is endorphins which is responsible for the "runners high" and play a role in pleasure. Lesser known, dynorphin and enkephalin(similar to endorphins) are said to play a role in addiction, stress response, appetite, circadian rhythms, temperature control, weight regulation, and more.

By taking an opioid drug, you introduce foreign opioids into the body. The body notices unnaturally high levels of opioids and in attempt to remain at an equilibrium, the body then adjust it's natural levels of opioid-like substances. In addition, it also down-regulates opioid receptors and up-regulates other receptors. This is what causes tolerance, physical dependency, and eventually withdrawal when the medication is stopped.

So in essence, once you start to build tolerance/dependence on the drug, you are reducing your body's natural ability to deal with problems and even normal life. This tolerance/dependence can begin happening in a matter of weeks, sometimes even less.

Contrary to modern medicine that often just throws a pill at the problem, and contrary to modern society that wants a quick, simple and all-inclusive solution to complex problems, the best solution for pain is often working through the pain. I don't mean completely ignoring the pain and attempting to carry on as if it wasn't there, injuries shouldn't be ignored, but things like stretching and strengthening the areas around the injury and even the injured area itself. Injuries don't always heal on their own, and opioids aren't going to facilitate the healing process beyond bringing some mental comfort. People who have recovered from severe injuries like broken necks may have used opioids to cope with the pain, but without physical therapy and actively working through the injury, the body won't be able to heal and repair itself correctly.

Honestly, I find it to be a bit ironic and sad that a lot of people start taking opioids so that they can keep their job and continue working through the pain, then later become addicted and potentially lose their job and even family because of it. I used to think that opioids would be the perfect drug if there wasn't the problem with addiction, however after learning more about their function and "natural opioids", I no longer think that at all.
 
Very good info mafioso, and i totally agree, i feel good again not much wds any more but still on comfkrt meds but lower dose, but ill get off them soon, and thats good advice on how to respond to my doc because actually thats kinda how i realized the problem
Merry christmas everyone
2019 is gonna b a better year im sure
 
Checking in, thinking of you Gunslinger.


How are you doing today? I hope you and your family had a nice Christmas.


Proud of you, here if you need anything.

Happy Holidays to you and yours!!!!

Your friend,
Ash.
 
Im doing good , xmas was good too, went to doc today and apologized for decieving her and explained how it started, she was very appreiciative. Therapy went very well , ive been reduced to .5 clonodine and .5 ativan every 12 hrs but ive actually been going longer already , i want off the clonodine fast cuz it drops my bp and makes me a bit dizzy , so doc says in two weeks i shkuld be off all meds :) i hope youre doing well ash you have been a big support here, i also hope you are feeling well. Btw i told therapist last time i was worried bout not feeling happy, she asked if i felt the same still. Well yes and no, the artificial vicodin happy felt really good and isnt as good as this happy now,but i understand and realize i went nearly 36 years with this type of happy and it was good so i just need to get over that.
 
Thank you drew!! I admit i think im doing good and i agree ash has been absolutly amazing, what a asset to bluelight!! I want to stay awsy from opiods but as ive mentioned i have to have surgery on my wrists which will require pain meds, im looking 4 to 5 months out yet but we already plan to have my wife control them and locked up with a combo pad lock, cant be keyed because i took locksmithing out of highschool and i can pick any lock open so we r going dial combo , but again thank you for your support too i really didnt know what to expect on day one when i posted but the overwhelming response to help and support me has been humbling ,i am honestly greatful esp to ash and mafioso. Have a good new year drew
 
Holy shit you were on Vicodin for 35 years? and just recently started to lose control? Or am I remembering your story wrong??

either way, that is impressive that you were able to quit, and honestly surprising how well you are doing.
 
No no no i meant i lived happy 35 years pre vicodin then fake happy 4 years or so no trying to get back to real happy not faked with vics im 41
 
Hey what up guns? I went to correct one little thing on my first post to you and it erased it like wtf lol.

I wanted to let you know about a devise I bought a few years ago when I started methadone. It's called the K-Safe... I put my methadone take homes in it every week... I set the timer for 6am every morning...it unlocks... I take out one dose and set the timer for 6 am the next morning and repeat the same process. There are no overrides to that safe. The only way to get your meds out is for the timer to reach zero and then it will open... That device has saved my life... If this is considered sourcing I apologize mods. Just trying to help someone with some knowledge I had.

Take care and God bless
 
We allow discussion of sourcing harm reduction supplies and that safe certainly qualifies. :) What a great idea.
 
Wow i didnt know about these drew! I honestly feel id be safe now but i dont know if i could say 100 percent id b able to beat temptation on a bad day, i will def look these k-safes up, thank you!! And shadowmeister thank you for allowing drew to post this,
 
Cool... I'm happy to know that safe is not sourcing. I ordered right off their website. They offer free shipping. I ordered it and it arrived the very next day. Before I ordered it I read all the reviews on Amazon first.

Yeah, you can lock up your meds for as short as 1 min or up to 10 days. I have 2 of my methadone take homes in my safe as we speak. That safe has really helped me with my temptation and since I'm on methadone for drug addiction I've obviously had my share of temptation many times over the years lol. Good luck to you and take care.
 
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I am so happy your dr's appointment went well GS!!!

I am so proud of you, I hope you are also really proud of yourself, remember to be kind and patient with yourself. You're going though a lot, but doing a beautiful job of it.

Thank you for your kind words Drew and GS, I love you both and I'm really proud and blessed to have you two as friends.

I will always have your guys backs.

Have a great day Drew and GS!!!

And Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you both!!!

tenor.gif





Your friend,
Ash.
QUOTE=Gunslinger354;14463255]Thank you drew!! I admit i think im doing good and i agree ash has been absolutly amazing, what a asset to bluelight!! I want to stay awsy from opiods but as ive mentioned i have to have surgery on my wrists which will require pain meds, im looking 4 to 5 months out yet but we already plan to have my wife control them and locked up with a combo pad lock, cant be keyed because i took locksmithing out of highschool and i can pick any lock open so we r going dial combo , but again thank you for your support too i really didnt know what to expect on day one when i posted but the overwhelming response to help and support me has been humbling ,i am honestly greatful esp to ash and mafioso. Have a good new year drew[/QUOTE]
 
Drew , i thought of a problem with the safe though , what prevents someone (like me) from grabbing more than one pill out of the safe when its time? Not that i think i would but if you have access to the pills at a desired time wouldnt you be able to pull xtra out at that time?
 
Update: 7:50 pm i feel really crappy n meds arent due for another 6 hours, just really edgy and anxious, why??? Shouldnt this crap be over?
 
Gunslinger354 said:
Drew , i thought of a problem with the safe though , what prevents someone (like me) from grabbing more than one pill out of the safe when its time? Not that i think i would but if you have access to the pills at a desired time wouldnt you be able to pull xtra out at that time?
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Nothing. That's the one part where you have to be strong and take one and lock it. Everyone who gets this safe has to stay strong during the opening and locking phase. I just think to myself if I take more I'll be out 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, or even 6 days (I get 6 take homes a week) with nothing. This is the one part where you just have to take the initiative to do what's right. I'm an addict to the max and I have to grab one dose and lock it. That's just the way it is bro. If you or anyone went to rehab you would have to do some work the facility can't do all the work. I wish you all the luck in the world... If I can do it then ANYONE can you feel me? God bless you bro!

PS... I noticed you made it to bluelight status... Congrats! I hope you feel better. Hang in there bro, you got this!
 
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Thanks drew its honestly been a rough day, a lot of edgyness and anxiety, and bluelight status? Whats that mean for me?
 
People who post 49 post or less have greenlight status and people who post 50 + post have bluelight status. It just means you can send more private messages then b4 and some other shit lol. I really don't remember what else bluelighters can do but it's just more privileges and shit like that. To be 100 % honest with you, that's all I can remember. I've done a lot of drugs and my memory is fucked. I still have a really high IQ... I just can't remember shiiiiiit.
 
I hope today is a much better one for you GS.

How are you feeling so far today? I'm really proud of you, I hope you are too. You're the best.

Here if you need me,
your friend,
Ash.

Gunslinger354 said:
Thanks drew its honestly been a rough day, a lot of edgyness and anxiety, and bluelight status? Whats that mean for me?
Click to expand...
 
You are such an awesome positive person Drew, I hope you know how special you are, and how much you contribute to people here.

Love you,
your friend,
Ash.

DrewDogBaby209 said:
People who post 49 post or less have greenlight status and people who post 50 + post have bluelight status. It just means you can send more private messages then b4 and some other shit lol. I really don't remember what else bluelighters can do but it's just more privileges and shit like that. To be 100 % honest with you, that's all I can remember. I've done a lot of drugs and my memory is fucked. I still have a really high IQ... I just can't remember shiiiiiit.
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