Mafioso, no im taking a few months off until a big hospital project takes off in my area, i guess im stuggling with the fact that ive come off needing one pill to now feeling like i need these ones now, its like taking one evil over another evil (thats how im playing it in my mind) today is day 21 no vicodin btw
Nice, that's probably the best thing you could do tbh. The withdrawals are pretty rough on their own, let alone having to deal with added stress from work.
To be honest, it seems like a lot of the opioid withdrawals were masked by the comfort meds you were taking. Comfort meds aren't bad, but this is one of the problems that arises with their use. The withdrawal can't be completely avoided, as far as I understand, only minimized. As terrible as it is, withdrawal is an important phase of the healing process to go through. By masking the withdrawal with other substances, your body never has a chance to adapt back to "normal" or no drugs, instead it adapts to the comfort meds.
Unfortunately, at this point getting off the Ativan will probably only become more difficult which is why I keep stressing to start the taper as soon as possible, and only take what you absolutely can not go with out. Take advantage of your situation, and accept that you are in the process of healing so you won't be 100%, and some days you might not even be 50%. It's ok if you can't do all the things you normally do.. this state isn't permanent.
It can be really confusing when trying to get off meds like Ativan, and I'd assume alpha/beta blockers are fairly similar. With Ativan/benzos, you'll start progressively feeling worse and worse- a world ending type of worse feeling, until the withdrawal peaks at around 5-10 days, at which point you'll slowly start feeling better/less shitty, until probably maybe 1-2 months later where you'll start to feel normal once again. It's so hard to convince yourself that what you are doing is ultimately for the best, despite what seems like glaring evidence to the contrary.
The good news is that recovery can and does happen if you allow it. Similar to how you thought you'd never be happy without opiods but you proved yourself wrong, the same can happen with the current meds youre taking.
Don't downplay the progress you have made either. It may not seem entirely obvious but going from catching an opioid habit that was spiraling out of control, and before it really destroyed your life, to taking comfort meds on a regulated basis with plans to taper and quit. That is major progress. The finish line may seem really far off, but look at how far you have come. I believe you can go further even if those final steps are the hardest. I hope you can start to believe in yourself as well. Try to be proud of the fact that you are addressing the problem rather than shaming yourself for having it to begin with.
. I do it every year for them. Wife and i would rather party with the children than go out. How bout you ,plans? And thank you, i feel ok, most of my aniexity seems to be in my stomach past few days.
