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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Feeling guilty after using amphetamines

Amphets are old news really nowadays well with anyone i know. Dont see why people like it anymore terrible stuff IMO
 
jacky09ftw said:
Amphets are old news really nowadays well with anyone i know. Dont see why people like it anymore terrible stuff IMO
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I laughed at this. Amphetamines are the stimulant which all other stimulants are measured by and are very well understood. The fact that they have been in use for as long as they have is a good thing. I don't know what you consider better but I can only imagine.

Anyway @ the OP. Yes this is very common and ive experienced it often. Being on Amps has really helped me alot, when I am on them I have no desire to use illegal substances and I haven't the whole time ive been on them.

I experienced the guilt you mentioned for a long time during my prescription use but I can avoid most of it now by just taking care of myself while I am using them. I make sure I get enough food, sleep and exercise to stay healthy and I feel alot better about using them because I know I am taking extra steps to keep myself healthy and hopefully avoid some negative effects of amp use.
 
lol your just like me! well alot of people feel like how your describing, when their coming off of amphetamines and other stimulants like meth and ecstasy. Now right now i'm coming off the fourth and my last time doing meth, and i'm feeling alot of what your feeling. Or when i would do adderall (once a week 60mg, which is a real high dose) and it would start wearing off i'd feel the same way as well, but it's a little different than meth. Anyways whenever i would come off of amphetamine or even on it, even though i'd feel amazing i'd have this guilt inside me knowing i'm causing alot of damage to my body, and brain just to get a fake high. And i would feel real empathetic, which i already am, but even more i examine things real closely, and feel super concentrated (that is before the comedown, which you probably don't feel from such a low dose) but yeah it makes me feel bad for things i've done etc, and also it uses up alot of serotonin in your brain that cause you to feel kinda low and depressed afterwards, and it gets worse the higher the dose you take, anyways my point is use those emotions of feeling bad, to examine your bad habits, and addictions if you have any, to help you get better in whatever it may be.
 
all these comments saying "just dont do them" or "its mind over matter"... you all are either total hypocrites or aren't addicts.

Willpower alone does NOT work. Shaming yourself for acting on the compulsion will only lead to guilt.

It would help to go to an NA meeting NA. You can find meetings at NA.org. You'vr got to treat the root of the problem (your decisionmaking) instead of trying to simply flush your shit down the drain.

it is almost absurd to quit this powerful of a drug without a support group, without a process, without some accountability.

Again, PM me if you want talk about it. I'm 2.5years clean of meth.
 
No sir, you CAN quit by simply flushing them down the toilet without having to go to some foolish meetings where everyone uses and they eventually become more hook-ups for drugs. In many attempts at getting clean by going to NA meetings I'd just relapse because of all the bad influences. A couple of the times I met some of my biggest drug dealers. If your going to go the meetings route, go to AA, as people are more content at getting clean. But meetings just make me crave because its basically just stories about getting high.

Anyway, I was able to simply throw an eightball of meth down the sewer and have never used since.

On a side note, meetings can become just as addicting as drugs to addicts. This leads to dependency which means you may relapse if you don't constantly have a meeting to go to.
 
I've had massive experience with ritalin (and focalin), adderall, propylhexadrine, and probably some others that I can't think of. I'm familiar with the guilt feeling that you describe while on stimulants, which in my case is exaggerated with propylhexadrine more than other stimulants, but oddly it's even more pronounced when I've used DXM. Also, it's only specifically on the comedown with all of them.
 
halfoz said:
all these comments saying "just dont do them" or "its mind over matter"... you all are either total hypocrites or aren't addicts.

Willpower alone does NOT work. Shaming yourself for acting on the compulsion will only lead to guilt.

It would help to go to an NA meeting NA. You can find meetings at NA.org. You'vr got to treat the root of the problem (your decisionmaking) instead of trying to simply flush your shit down the drain.

it is almost absurd to quit this powerful of a drug without a support group, without a process, without some accountability.

Again, PM me if you want talk about it. I'm 2.5years clean of meth.
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What are you talking about, man? The OP said "I never abused amps, never binged on them, it's the drug I have the least experience with".

I fail to see how that is a big enough problem to warrant getting mixed up with all that creepy NA mumbo jumbo.
 
halfoz said:
all these comments saying "just dont do them" or "its mind over matter"... you all are either total hypocrites or aren't addicts.

Willpower alone does NOT work. Shaming yourself for acting on the compulsion will only lead to guilt.

It would help to go to an NA meeting NA. You can find meetings at NA.org. You'vr got to treat the root of the problem (your decisionmaking) instead of trying to simply flush your shit down the drain.

it is almost absurd to quit this powerful of a drug without a support group, without a process, without some accountability.

Again, PM me if you want talk about it. I'm 2.5years clean of meth.
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hey so i have done meth a total of 7 times within a year and a half, and each time i did it, i did four times the amount i was suppose to, most of the time not realizing it was too much, my first time i did 12 hits, and was fine until the next day when i was throwing up for hours, needless to say i could go on and on with the bad experiences with it i had and that amazing feeling thats like no other, anyways since you personally were a meth addict i always have questions to ask addicts, but most of the meth addicts i knew would deny that they had comedowns and would tell me to do more meth and thats safe etc and most of the time i would believe them, but obviously by now i'm real educated about it, along with all other drugs i've tried, anyways yesterday i happened to get some meth and i snorted two large lines, which is usually less than i normally do, usually i smoke 8 hits of meth when i do it, or do 5 lines within 5 hours and i always do all this with no tolerance, but it has now been 21 hours since i did the two lines, and to my surprise i still haven't gotten that gut renching comedown, but i also did alot less than i have other times that could be it, is it rare or quiet normal to be feeling still somewhat good after 21 hours of snorting two lines? the meth i got was clear, and from looking at pictures and asking around it is the real good pure kind, and also the other question i really is towards your beginning of your addiction what caused you to keep going even after you realized it was starting to cause problems, was it because the comedown was way to harsh to deal with, or because you wanted to continue to chase after that high? also, i know every meth addict is different but for you personally, what would you do to help with your comedowns, and how bad did they get? because i'm one of those few people, who absolutely loves the high better than any drug because of that feeling, but the comedown and horrible side effects meth produces is the only thing that keeps me from wanting to do it often, which i'm glad because i know how qucikly things get to the point where it's unbearable, anyways reply soon sorry about the long message, as usual, it makes real concentrated and super talkative.
 
Whether you decide to go to NA or not is your decision alone but it would help you now and in the future if you do decide that NA is right for you to stop bullshiting yourself and accept that you're taking them because they feel good. That's neither a good or bad thing -- if you can handle moderation it may be fine but if not you're just going to increase your worries down the road by thinking that it'd be fine if it were a coffee enema.

And amphetamine has been found to exist in certain Acacia species, does that mean if you were taking a couple of pounds of plant matter you'd be much better off? Morphine is "natural" and some people are fine using it for pain, some people are fine using it to feel good and some people can't stop using it. Clearing up why you take drugs will be much more helpful than looking for some holy grail magic herb that will cure everything with zero side-effects.
 
Thank you all for the support!! Good advice going around.

In my OP I said that I never have binged on amps nor have I ever even taken a lot at once. I definitely do not have an addiction to amphetamines of any flavor.

Last night, I had a party at my house with lots of good friends. I decided to take the E that I had, and also share it with friends. I'm extremely glad I did, I do not feel guilty at all, everything was smooth, no anxiety, perfect evening. I kept thinking to myself how I normally feel shitty, and I'd think about this thread, and realize this time I felt fine! Even today the next morning, I'm feeling great!

Thanks you all for your help. Regardless, I think this was a good experience to end on. MDMA is good, but honestly not good enough for it to be worth it to me. I had a great experience, and I think I can close the book on it now and look back with a smile instead of disgust. :)
 
I've felt a little guilty after coming down from MDPV, but mostly because I felt like shit and was mad at myself for causing such an anxious and uncomfortable comedown. I know MDPV isn't an amphetamine, but it's similar enough.

However, I have never felt guilty while on MDMA. In fact, I can't remember feeling anything but extreme happiness while rolling. Amphetamines are a large class of drugs with very different effects. For example, DOx and Adderall are extremely different drugs. I'd be surprised if they all made you anxious.

As for the synthetic vs. natural thing, there really isn't a difference scientifically. For example, the active chemical in khat is cathinone, which is an amphetamine. Synthetic cathinone also exists. In this case, the only difference would be placebo effect.
 
this is the comedown. if it werent for the drainage of it, you would never even warp into those negative emotions. your attitude would remain possitive, and for the most part youll be feeling ok. dont overdo amphs and your key neurotransmitters such as serotonin/dopamine will be in check and you will remain emotionally stable.
 
I get this same thing, There are a couple of factors that may be involved. First, as mentioned above, mindset. If you tell yourself something enough times, it sticks. If it didn't we would not have addictions. We justify them to ourselves. Secondly, if you are a regular opiate user, you are already dumping the natural drugs that your brain stores on a regular basis.

There is only a limited amount, and a set 'production rate' to these natural chemicals. When you amp, you use whatever small amount is left. Sure, you get high. But not like the first time user, or the occasional amper who does nothing else. Thats why meth is so damn hard to kick..the chemical which causes you to have emotions is depleted, and it takes months, sometimes even years to fully regen. Meth addicts are INCAPABLE of feeling happiness, even after most of the other physical effects disappear. This is especially true of long-term addicts, because production is greatly slowed, further adding to the time needed to recover it.

Also.. I can't stress this enough. You need to eat, even if you dont feel the need too. When you don't eat, your body starts burning muscle and fat after a period of time. I always eat and ALWAYS stay hydrated when doing stims, because the first thing your body will try, is dumping the stim via urine. Ever do a good line of coke and immediately have to hit the bathroom? Same idea. These substances seem like drugs to us, but our body has a different opinion. Your body says, this substance is altering my metabolism, its poison, dump it. Along with every drop of water we can muster.

Energy drinks are not the answer, even though they contain B vitamins. They also contain a lot of other things that dry you out. Eat, drink water, then dose, and keep drinking water. Dose at an acceptable time, not 10pm and expect to be sleeping by 1. If I have something I need to do the next day, I will worry about getting up on time soo much that I won't get the sleep I need. Its the same premise..guilt because you know you are forcing yourself through another day awake with no REM sleep. REM sleep resets the brain. Also, just because you feel good from a stim doesnt mean that an opiate addiction goes away. It can be ignored, but only for so long. I get this feeling from the strangest things..coffee and pot make me feel like Im going to die.

I would recommend a good multi vitamin, regularly, a good environment to dose stims in (staring at the wall all night is only fun the first time) and if you still feel this way.. try to stop. And just a quick note to the NARC ANON post above. I dont think religion and help for addictions need to be so closely intertwined. Can't people be reasonable, smart, human, without a forced religion along with the 'help'. I will tell you all the secret. You can quit anything, using pot. USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.. when you have a craving, smoke a fatty, and then recheck your craving. It will be liveable. I went from 30 beers a day to zero on Marijuana Maintenance Program :) It takes time, and willpower, but it also takes some strategic planning, and actual desire to control addictions. It takes a long time, not cold turkey. And one day you realize, you are indifferent to its call. You could live without it. And you do.
 
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And, right about then is when you realize, your pockets and your life are no longer 'empty'
 
zyNc973 said:
this is the comedown. if it werent for the drainage of it, you would never even warp into those negative emotions. your attitude would remain possitive, and for the most part youll be feeling ok. dont overdo amphs and your key neurotransmitters such as serotonin/dopamine will be in check and you will remain emotionally stable.
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This is 100% correct. You feel the guilt on comedown, not when peaking. Its a good way to gauge your tolerance. When you start feeling this way, it means that you might be able to pull out of it once, maybe twice. But the plane crashes soon enough, regardless of dose. Which will be double the original within one day to stay flying. You feel guilty because you put yourself in this position, spent money, ect. Knowing ahead of time how much you will spend, and what your personal limits are, makes it less of a guessing game.
 
The only time I've felt "guilt" about using amphs is if we're talking about meth. But I think that's because of the pervasive social stigma of methamphetamine. If I were to take Desoxyn or something I probably wouldn't feel guilty at all. (Plus I loathe the meth "social scene", it's one of the worst drug scenes in my opinion and I try to keep my distance from it whenever possible).
 
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