It's threads like this (and countless others!) that make me realise why I like bluelight so much & spend so long wading through what's on offer - well thought out, intelligent (up to and even including dr beat's first reply & the direction things have taken since
) communication between "deadbeat drug users" (read: stupid, illiterate menaces to society the media 'educates' joe public about at every opportunity.)
To put in my 2c about the actual topic (!), after about 4 years of experiences (since the honeymoon ended) that have
shifted randomly (at least so it seems) between being amazingly beautiful and just plain sketchy, and knowledge of the mindsets I've been in before/during those experiences, I think it's mainly psychological.
I'm quite sure that physiologically some/a lot of? important circuits in my brain are fucked up, but I blame that more on years of assorted chemical abuse than being specifically from MDMA. I've also suffered depression since long before I ever even dreamed of taking 'ecstacy', so that along with the various regular psych meds I'm on would also contribute to the physiological side, I guess.
Anyway, in the past couple of years I've gone through several periods where I've had a night out that, in terms of the drug experience, sucks arse, and concluded that the party's over for good 'cos my head/soul/whatever just can't handle this shit anymore. But then.. whether it's a week or 3 months later, a night will come out of nowhere that f'n
rocks and is just like the old days all over again. I've already said I think this phenomenon is (personally) mainly psychological, but recently I've been suspicious that coming across genuinely
good drugs after an extended period of using mediocre 'bathtub-grade' substances can make a huge difference too, so who knows.. bring on prescribed pharmaceutical grade MDMA/meth/[insert drugs of choice here] for "recovering rave addicts" - at least then if we still feel shitty after going out in a great mood, ending up dropping our third blister-packaged 120mg MDMA cap for the night and moaning "it just doesn't
work anymore
", we'll know it's physical.
Hrm.. I think a thread on why people who could rarely be fucked posting anything unless they've taken something, and the psychological implications that carries for those people
/) could be interesting, too
Oh yeah, one other thing - while reading Dr Beat's messages, a big flashing *TROLL ALERT* thing kept running through my head.. a rare, relatively literate troll rather than the "fuk all u wanker space cadet fluffy pant pooftas u all suk cock!!!!!!!!" standard, but a troll all the same. I remember him on RDC a while back too, Pekkie, and my (unreliable) memory is that he dangled some bait over there and got a pretty good (and funny) haul, yeah?
I just had visions of some of my old schoolfriends (smart, "computer geeks" [albeit drugfucked], cynical as hell and always happy to start a shitfight on the local chat BBS (those were the days)) who eventually became ravers, were already jaded, and now [insert 'balls the size of ostrich eggs' action movie preview voiceover guy here] god only knows how twisted they've become!
Anyway.. I can't help imagining them starting a conversation about how "therapy will make you like candy clothes and happy hardcore" (*rofl!* :D ), and then laughing their fucking arses off every day as they come back to check the bait. I know I would be.. and
if I'm right, nice work dude(s).
[edit: just fixing up some shitty grammar/phrasing.. always the pedant!]
[ 22 February 2003: Message edited by: lsd303 ]
