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February - Getting and staying clean/sober thread

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Suboxone Mega Thread

There's the thread Evey mentioned. ;)
I haven't posted in there in a long time now that I think about it - I might check this thread out myself.

Also, While I agree with counting the days being slightly hypocritical it really depends on how you look at it. I totally agree - all you ever have is today, and that's what i tell people in the fellowship all the time. But I think celebrating the sobriety birthdays is a good thing because it shows the new comers in the room that this shit is possible. If you have 3 days sober, it's pretty damn hard to imagine having an extended period of time. If you are at a birthday chip meeting and see a bunch of people who have x amount of time, it could be inspirational for you.

@Delta - I'm really happy that you are here reaching out for help. It takes a lot of courage to do that. Tomorrow will be a tough day, but you can do this. I know you can. At the same time, I know that all the encouragement and all the confidence can you feel REALLY shit about yourself if you end up relapsing - I have faith that you won't, but it's always a possibility - and I want you to know that nobody here would judge you and that relapse is never a failure, it's a learning experience. So no matter what happens don't be too hard on yourself! I was too hard on myself when I relapsed one time back in 2012, and instead of getting up and trying again after falling I went back out for 8 months because I felt like I had failed. I don't want to see you make the same mistake. <3
 
caseface99 said:
Suboxone Mega Thread

There's the thread Evey mentioned. ;)
I haven't posted in there in a long time now that I think about it - I might check this thread out myself.

Also, While I agree with counting the days being slightly hypocritical it really depends on how you look at it. I totally agree - all you ever have is today, and that's what i tell people in the fellowship all the time. But I think celebrating the sobriety birthdays is a good thing because it shows the new comers in the room that this shit is possible. If you have 3 days sober, it's pretty damn hard to imagine having an extended period of time. If you are at a birthday chip meeting and see a bunch of people who have x amount of time, it could be inspirational for you.

@Delta - I'm really happy that you are here reaching out for help. It takes a lot of courage to do that. Tomorrow will be a tough day, but you can do this. I know you can. At the same time, I know that all the encouragement and all the confidence can you feel REALLY shit about yourself if you end up relapsing - I have faith that you won't, but it's always a possibility - and I want you to know that nobody here would judge you and that relapse is never a failure, it's a learning experience. So no matter what happens don't be too hard on yourself! I was too hard on myself when I relapsed one time back in 2012, and instead of getting up and trying again after falling I went back out for 8 months because I felt like I had failed. I don't want to see you make the same mistake. <3
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Thank you very much, Case. I'd love to know how you all do that. Mind you I am on iPhone so I should imagine I can't unless I go on mu laptop. Anyway back on track. That thread is very informative I hope that you get what you need from it if you decide to go there.

Case you have a very valid point there. It is a form of encouragement. I didn't know they're called Birthdays. What do they give them for their "birthday" n how many days = a birthday? That is all good as long as they are ok with people who have "slipped" as people don't want to feel like failures. I admit that this approach can motivate people but more often it doesn't n people often end up going back into addiction. There's good n bad in everything I guess.

Evey xxxx
 
^^ They are generally 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 6 months, 9 months, 1 year, 18 months, 2 years, and annually from there onward. At AA you get a chip/coin with some AA symbolism stuff and how much clean time in the middle i.e. 1 year, 2 years, 30 days, etc. And at NA it's the same thing except instead of a coin it's a keychain thing.

And yeah that's the thing, when somebody slips, even if they had 10 years one puff off a joint or one sip of booze and you have to say you are back to zero days at meetings. So it can potentially be discouraging after relapsing, and can also be motivating for a new comer. As you said, positives and negatives with everything.
 
24 more :)

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Eveleivibe- I am not at a subs clinic.. I just have a supply of subs and detox myself from time to time.

I have a taper plan that I found here on BL that I am going to use. Thanks for saying theres nothing wrong with me.. and I guess I know that, I mean, I know I have the disease of addiction, but fuckin-a man, it's so frustrating. I can't get over the fact that I had two years clean and went back. Thanks for letting me know about the sub mega thread and thanks to case for posting link.

Y'all are the shit.
 
I fucked up guys. This week I have done heroin, suboxone, cocaine, methamphetamine, atvian, Xanax, Dxm, propylhexedrine, and marijuana.

I just don't want to be sober anymore. I'm currently sleeping in a bathroom. It is a single room bathroom at a pool in an apartment complex .
 
Aww man lacster don't get to hard on yourself! What's going on? Like others have asked, what happened? did anything trigger the loss in motivation?
 
laCster said:
I fucked up guys. This week I have done heroin, suboxone, cocaine, methamphetamine, atvian, Xanax, Dxm, propylhexedrine, and marijuana.

I just don't want to be sober anymore. I'm currently sleeping in a bathroom. It is a single room bathroom at a pool in an apartment complex .
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Ugh. Sorry to hear, man. Sounds like quite the relapse, hah. But it's never over till it's over, man. It sounds like you still have a lot to internally work out. You have to want it man. When is enough abuse gonna be enough, ya know?
 
Mr.scag you're ace at helping here y'know you're wasting on 'other drugs'

LaCster sounds like you're going through a lot. Are you living in a bathroom due to your relapse or are you saying that's how things are.

On a serious note,
Why don't you want to be sober? What's going on for you? We're here to listen ok. No one is going to judge you we all mess up. It's what happens from here that counts.
 
I keep going back and forth between opiates. I'm not in active addiction, but I am still using them, which is enough to make me feel guilty about it. The last time I had any opiates was yesterday morning, and now I'm feeling really irritable and just miserable. I want/need/crave them so badly. I'm resisting the cravings right now because I basically have no choice, but fuck. What the hell is wrong with me? I feel like it's a game that I am never going to win. I feel like such a fuck up and a failure. Maybe i should get on Suboxone- it will probably help with the cravings at least. I just feel like I'm slipping back into old ways and it is not a road I ever want to go down again...
 
Your doing great addy.. dont beat yourself up at all.. this is the damn problem with occasional use.. it seems like it would be so easy to use just a little of the things we are addicted to.. but in realty its not a break and it pushes to use much harder.. so what seems like a break actually inches us back toward the flames and makes us want to jump back in<3
 
I would strongly suggest not to go on Suboxone in this situation. Trading something that isn't a physical opiate addiction for something that is a physical addiction just isn't a smart choice (again, this is all my opinion). I would say that you need to sabotage your source. Do you have a script or do you buy them off the street?
 
neversickanymore said:
Your doing great addy.. dont beat yourself up at all.. this is the damn problem with occasional use.. it seems like it would be so easy to use just a little of the things we are addicted to.. but in realty its not a break and it pushes to use much harder.. so what seems like a break actually inches us back toward the flames and makes us want to jump back in<3
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Thanks never sick <3

RedLeader said:
I would strongly suggest not to go on Suboxone in this situation. Trading something that isn't a physical opiate addiction for something that is a physical addiction just isn't a smart choice (again, this is all my opinion). I would say that you need to sabotage your source. Do you have a script or do you buy them off the street?
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You're right. Taking suboxone for this would probably be a little much. I'm just afraid I'll fall back into my old ways of IVing Dilaudid. I have a script for the hydrocodone. I'm not in contact with any of my old connects because last year when I quit IV I deleted them all from my phone and am honestly too afraid to find new ones.
 
^^

I agree. Definitely don't willingly sign yourself up for a physical dependency, if you don't have to. I feel like that would be a mistake and something you'll regret later. You're just at a little rough patch right now, and you can get out of it.. right now at least you have your freedom. Freedom from dependency. That's an incredibly valuable thing no matter how bad you are currently feeling. Don't give that up.
 
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