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February 2017 Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread v. Sweethearts and Party Beads

Burnt Offerings said:
I've been doing OK I guess. I'm not currently sober or even attempting sobriety but I'm going to have to soon, my work season is coming up...

I dunno, I have good days and bad days
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That's cool man. You're always welcome here no matter what. Everyone is. :)

Do you feel like you're using because you want to, or because you have to? Just curious.

Hope everyone is having a safe and productive Monday <3

If anyone has a minute to read... *trigger warning below*

NSFW:
I had a very long and elaborate dream about (successfully) shooting buprenorphine last night. It was very intense. It is frustrating to still be dreaming of it over 2 years, 3 months later.
 
I hear you CH, I had my first true using dream maybe a month ago. Well, technically I didn't actually end up using in it, but that was just because I woke up before things took their course. It was super eerie knowing exactly what was going on in the dream and not wanting to experience it, but watching myself go through the motions. Creepiest dream I've possibly ever had.
 
Forcing myself to do some serious work on my mom's eulogy today. The funeral is coming up, so I gotta get going on this. It's a tough exercise, though... almost impossible to sound sincere but not maudlin at the same time. Ok. Back to work...
 
Captain.Heroin said:
That's cool man. You're always welcome here no matter what. Everyone is. :)

Do you feel like you're using because you want to, or because you have to? Just curious.
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I guess I just like to get high, you know? I don't know. There's definitely an element of negativity to it though...I find myself getting depressed more often, more hopeless, sometimes even when I have dope around or when I'm high.

Generally-speaking I consider myself to be more "functional" than most of the people who do what I do, but at the same time I'm not immune from the downside associated with what I do.
 
simco said:
Forcing myself to do some serious work on my mom's eulogy today. The funeral is coming up, so I gotta get going on this. It's a tough exercise, though... almost impossible to sound sincere but not maudlin at the same time. Ok. Back to work...
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No wonder you've been struggling - this kind of thing certainly doesn't make early recovery any easier. At least it'll be awesome once you're done and have accomplished laying your mom to rest. Perhaps some of the stress you've been under recently will be easier once you've finished seeing this through?

I wonder if this season/the new year just passing a month ago has anything to do with everyone being particularly depressed? Including myself :\
 
Im with CH!! 60 degrees Wednesday then 3 to 6 inches of snow Thursday this damp ass weather has every bone in my body hurtin! which fucks with my mental state.
 
We have been getting a bit of week this rain (or should I say rain this week :)), which was kinda disappointing as I'd been hoping to go to the beach Saturday. The rain is a love hate thing for me - mostly love ;)
 
toothpastedog said:
I wonder if this season/the new year just passing a month ago has anything to do with everyone being particularly depressed? Including myself :\
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Yeah definitely. I've overstayed my welcome here in New York...usually I'm only here for the "holiday season" (December to early January), this year I stayed later than I usually do. I also dipped into the local drug scene which I haven't done before this year (been back here for the past 4 years around this time). Definitely need to go home...I hate transitional periods, something I've always found unpleasant about them...
 
Over five months of being in replacement therapy and even not using anything else except prescribed drugs.
 
That is nothing sir. Over a metre of snow here and minus 18degrees celsius.
 
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