Well, haven't had a drink or any drugs in days. I feel much better and clear headed.
I'm beginning to feel, and look like myself again.
However, I realized it's been two months since I last saw her. And about five weeks since I last spoke to her.
That's more than enough time to move on from someone even if you were together for 26 months if your in different towns, compleytley cut off from each other.
I always envisioned in my head that if I killed myself, she would mourn. And at least try and remember the good times. Cause atm it seems like she's just decided to act like I never exisisted. But I realized in a dream last night that she might not actually care that much now. Particuarly if it was an OD, she might just think 'typical junkie hex, bound to happen at some point'.
And there are other things i've done that are going to make life very very hard very soon. And winter will be here before we know it, and I am not ready for a winter by myself.
So I guess, i'm still undecided as to what to do :/